Question re fantasy life (not sexual)

[Someoneoncomputer]

Throughout the day I have a fantasy life about what I would do and say in a particular situation. (I am not talking about sexual fantasies.) If I am feeling lonely one day I might fantasize about having a conversation with a friend, and this is not an imaginary friend but a real person.

It seems to me though that these fantasies center around me.

I would like to stop this fantasy life, but it is a habit I have had for many, many, years, and I feel "I can't." I have been praying about it, yet I am still doing it. Sometimes I quit for a little while and then get down on myself when I start to fantasize again and feel like it is a hopeless battle.

Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks.

 

[Jessica Lauren]

I do the same thing...

 

[newlite]

same with me. thats how i sleep...

 

[Chilufya]

I don't see what's wrong with it. It means you have an imagination.

I would dread meeting someone who had no imagination.

 

[KleinerApfel]

Daydreams are fine up to a point, but if they become a major part of your life, and are causing you concern, maybe things are getting out of hand.

But it's hard to empty your mind of a thought - the best way is to fill it instead with a better thought.

You might try directing your imagination into the arts. Could you try writing songs, poetry, even stories? Painting?

And then also try to do something positive for others in your spare time, to force your mind to look outwards rather than inwards sometimes.

One last thing, when you catch yourself doing it, don't get upset, but use it as a springboard into a mini prayer session for that person. Maybe just a sentence to ask God to bless them, maybe more if you feel it's right.

It could be that when someone comes into your mind, God is attracting your attention to a need in the person. If you choose to direct your imagination more fruitfully by acknowledging that He is asking you to do this, you will find the self-centred thoughts will be squeezed out.

God bless, Susana

 

[Jessica Lauren]

Thanks for your input Susana. I do it every night before I go to sleep. I also write and everything.

 

[e8514]

I believe this is just imagination--We all talk to ourselves and have imajinations. As long as it doesn't lead to sin-IE lust etc.


God Bless.

 

[RVincent]

I do it too! Have been since childhood.

 

[IloveJesusMyFather3:16]

Sometimes I get so lonely that I put a pillow behind me and just imagine someone holding me and loving me. I probably wouldn't tell anybody in person about it because I am sorta embaressed about it. ha ha ha ...but I don't think there's anything wrong with it just as long as you don't start to believe your fantacies. I have found that when I fantacise about love and companionship with a man that I sometimes get depressed and so I have to be in a certain mood. This seems dangerous to my state and mood so I have to be careful....but other times like - if I'm about to go to sleep - can be very comforting and help you to feel love in your heart - even if it isn't coming from the source you want it to come from. I have prayed for God to give me love dreams and he has given them to me!! Maybe you should try that. Just pray and be close to our Lord and remember - You are not going to have to do this for long. I love you.
Sister in Christ.
Angel Leah

 

[EmSchmem]

I would agree that this is not a big deal UNLESS it is something you do so much that it is monopolizing your time. I have to keep this in check as well. Knowing a few memory verses is helpful to me and also just keeping my hands busy.

 

[Lori-lee]

Yup, u guessed it......I do it too. lol.

I think there is nothing wrong with doing it. Children do it all the time, to entertain themselves, to make sense of the world around them, to 'practise' what they would say or do in situations. Sometimes when i do it, its more like, thinking out loud. Making things clear to myself, looking at different options.

But, if u feel that ur fantasy world is interfering with the real world, than i have to say, Susana's ideas were brilliant!

 

[vinc]

I think this is a common trait among most of us. There is nothing wrong if we don't get too carried away.

Yes, Susana's suggestions are really useful. Ultimately over the years God will help us overcome such non-sexual fantasizing if we think that it would have a harmful effect over us. Maybe such fantasizing could be allowed by God to help/train us to grow in some way. I have read about some Holy Men of God having this habit too.

The Bible does instruct us to think about Holy and Noble things.

Phillippians 4:8 : Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

But, over-indulgence can effect our real life in the real world. So, we need to check ourselves from time to time to come back to our real world.

I guess older people might have less problems with this habit as they would have learnt to exercise control on non-sexual fantasizing over the years.

 

[Someoneoncomputer]

Thanks for all of your replies.

I cannot help but think though that a fantasy life of any kind is wrong. Maybe because in Philippians 4:8 it says, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

Habits are not easy to break however.