Question about polygamy

[ALEE]

This is a hypothetical question and there might be some people out there experiencing this.

Say a man who lives in a polygamous life comes to know the Lord. He has several wives now. What should he do now? He knows it is Christian value to live a monogamous life.

 

[dreadnought]

This is a hypothetical question and there might be some people out there experiencing this.

Say a man who lives in a polygamous life comes to know the Lord. He has several wives now. What should he do now? He knows it is Christian value to live a monogamous life.

I would discontinue sexual relations as a first step.

 

[dreadnought]

This is a hypothetical question and there might be some people out there experiencing this.

Say a man who lives in a polygamous life comes to know the Lord. He has several wives now. What should he do now? He knows it is Christian value to live a monogamous life.

I would discontinue sexual relations as a first step.

Maybe just discontinue then altogether.

 

[Sketcher]

Which of his wives have children? And which if any of them, meets the New Testament requirements for a real wife?

 

[Kevin Snow]

Make 'em all draw sticks and take the one with the shortest stick. Put the rest out of the house but still provide for them forever. Live as friends.

 

[dreadnought]

Make 'em all draw sticks and take the one with the shortest stick. Put the rest out of the house but still provide for them forever. Live as friends.

But, then, if he has too many wives, they might put him out of the house.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

He should provide (in whatever manner fitting) for all the women who he married after the first marriage and part ways with them.

 

[JAM2b]

It is illegal in the U. S. to be legally married to more than one person, and the specifics of this law can vary by state. So, if they are residents of a country where it is illegal, then there could be legal consequences to face. I believe that if I person is faced with this, then the responsible thing to do is to remain as financially responsible as possible and required by law to any and all children. As for the women, they can get a job to provide for themselves. There are compassionate groups who would help them.

However, if it were in a country where it were allowed, then I think that they could remain with all of their wives. I don't think the Bible expressly says polygamy is wrong. It says church leaders should only have one wife. The Old Testament acknowledges poly without condemning it. I think this is more of a cultural issue than a moral one.

 

[Dkh587]

However, if it were in a country where it were allowed, then I think that they could remain with all of their wives. I don't think the Bible expressly says polygamy is wrong. It says church leaders should only have one wife. The Old Testament acknowledges poly without condemning it. I think this is more of a cultural issue than a moral one.

This is true. Polygamy is not a sin according to the law.

The 12 tribes of Israel came from 4 women: 2 sisters & their 2 handmaidens.

Our culture doesn’t understand and know how to handle polygamy.

 

[Radagast]

Say a man who lives in a polygamous life comes to know the Lord. He has several wives now. What should he do now? He knows it is Christian value to live a monogamous life.

This is a frequent, and tricky, issue for the Church in some countries. The New Testament is quite clear that polygamy is wrong. A man should "leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (Ephesians 5:31). Two, not three, or four, or five. This is also why the New Testament forbids polygamists from being pastors.

Some denominations allow a polygamous man to keep his wives (but he must not get more, and he cannot be a pastor). Others force him to put away all but one wife (which can cause hardship for the others).

 

[Dan the deacon]

I agree it is not forbidden by God
But breaking the laws of where you live is not a good thing .Early Christians included men with more than one wife.
Why any man would desire such escapes my understanding.

 

[joshua 1 9]

still provide for them forever.

What if he is a sugar baby and they are providing for him?

 

[ralliann]

However, if it were in a country where it were allowed, then I think that they could remain with all of their wives. I don't think the Bible expressly says polygamy is wrong. It says church leaders should only have one wife. The Old Testament acknowledges poly without condemning it. I think this is more of a cultural issue than a moral one.

I understand it that marriage biblically is based upon a mans ability to financially provide and sustain a wife and children. Therefore polygamy would be based upon the same. The more wealth, he could provide for a larger household. Since the Church financially provides for ministers they were to have only one wife, so as not to burden the Church with this unnecessary expense.

 

[JAM2b]

That can be a supporting argument. According to historical records it appears that only wealthy men and royalty had multiple wives. It looks as though the general population did not practice polygamy, with the means to support large families being the determining factor.

Another point about ministers being told to only have one wife, the ability to manage a family well is a requirement. Logically, the larger the household the more difficult to manage it would be. There is also the recommendation from Paul (but not a commandment from God) to be single so you can devote more service to the church. So, it looks as though that telling them they can only have one wife is connected to the ability to be valuable and effective as a minister because of a simpler homelife.

One thing to consider is that God requires a lot from husbands for their wives and children. He must be able to meet those need regardless of any other obligations, including the church. If a man is not able to meet the needs of his family, but is giving of himself for the church, he is in error. I personally know a pastor who lost his wife and marriage for this very reason. His church rejected him for it instead of condemning her. He lost everything, his family and his church.

 

[JAM2b]

What if he is a sugar baby and they are providing for him?

I guess he could keep one wife to provide for him, but I have a hard time respecting any adult who will not do whatever they are capable of as much as they are able to in order to provide at least a little to contribute to the family income or not drain it as much as they have to. If someone is truly incapable, then that is understandable, and I have a lot of compassion for those people. But most people can find something they can do, even if it doesn't take a lot of time or isn't a lot of money earned. People need to do what they can. This applies to women as well. The proverbs 31 woman had more than one source of income she brought into the family. She was not staying home burping babies and baking bread.

The Bible says if a man will not work, then he does not eat. This was in reference to people in the church not working but stealing to have food. The church was told to put a stop to that. I believe it applies to both men and women, and any kid who is old enough to do a little bit of work for money particularly when they are not in school.

 

[ralliann]

That can be a supporting argument. According to historical records it appears that only wealthy men and royalty had multiple wives. It looks as though the general population did not practice polygamy, with the means to support large families being the determining factor.

Another point about ministers being told to only have one wife, the ability to manage a family well is a requirement. Logically, the larger the household the more difficult to manage it would be. There is also the recommendation from Paul (but not a commandment from God) to be single so you can devote more service to the church. So, it looks as though that telling them they can only have one wife is connected to the ability to be valuable and effective as a minister because of a simpler homelife.

One thing to consider is that God requires a lot from husbands for their wives and children. He must be able to meet those need regardless of any other obligations, including the church. If a man is not able to meet the needs of his family, but is giving of himself for the church, he is in error. I personally know a pastor who lost his wife and marriage for this very reason. His church rejected him for it instead of condemning her. He lost everything, his family and his church.

If polygamy were properly legislated it would be preferable to what goes on in modern society imo. It would somewhat be a "genealogical socialism". Instead of living in excess, the wealthy would simply have bigger families and bigger houses (or more houses). Not necessarily live in excess of luxury. If a woman did not want a rival, marry a man of smaller means lol.

 

[joshua 1 9]

I have a hard time respecting any adult who will not do whatever they are capable of as much as they are able to in order to provide at least a little to contribute to the family income or not drain it as much as they have to.

So do you think that polygamy follows the teaching of the Bible?

 

[JAM2b]

I think I already answered that in previous posts. But I don't believe the Bible either condemns or requires polygamy. It's not spoken against, except in the case of church leadership. Because of our laws forbidding it, we should not because we are commanded to obey the laws of the land. I don't think it is a moral issue in and of itself. I think it is a cultural and legal issue.

I think it falls under what Paul was saying about everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Each person needs to consider if it is a good choice for them considering their laws, culture, and financial situation. In the U.S. people should not engage in polygamy because it is illegal.

 

[ralliann]

So do you think that polygamy follows the teaching of the Bible?

Many holy men of God had multiple wives. Moses law gives legislation concerning it. I am a woman, and I think it is far more preferable to multiple divorces etc. At least polygamy biblically practiced concerns the care taking and responsibility of people as opposed to just getting divorced when you tire of a spouse, or desire another. That I believe God does not like or hates altogether.
Mt 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

It would have not been good for Abraham to have divorced Sarah to take Hagar for a wife. Sarah did not expect him to divorce her but to take a concubine instead.
Somehow I think to these ancient people, divorce was held in repugnance, not taking concubines. We today are the reverse of mind and heart. therefore divorce abounds. People having multiple "families" vs multiple "spouses" within a family. One involves continued obligation and commitment, the other abandonment of obligation to a marriage.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Many holy men of God had multiple wives. Moses law gives legislation concerning it. I am a woman, and I think it is far more preferable to multiple divorces etc. At least polygamy biblically practiced concerns the care taking and responsibility of people as opposed to just getting divorced when you tire of a spouse, or desire another. That I believe God does not like or hates altogether.
Mt 19:8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

It would have not been good for Abraham to have divorced Sarah to take Hagar for a wife. Sarah did not expect him to divorce her but to take a concubine instead.
Somehow I think to these ancient people, divorce was held in repugnance, not taking concubines. We today are the reverse of mind and heart. therefore divorce abounds. People having multiple "families" vs multiple "spouses" within a family. One involves continued obligation and commitment, the other abandonment of obligation to a marriage.

Did God instituted marriage between Adam and Eve before they ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? So maybe it was easier for them to be in a Duggar style marriage. We also have the marriage between Mary and Joseph whatever our concept is of that. Then if you study the generations in-between there are marriages in there like Ruth and Boaz. He was an older man and she was a widow. He even talked to her about how she could have had a younger man. That does not look like a Duggar style marriage to me.

They talk about the scarlet thread and the need for Jesus to go to Calvary to bring about redemption. So is polygamy in the Bible God's perfect plan for us or is it something that Jesus went to Calvary to pay the price of redemption and restoration?