question about lust

sh284 · Nov 23, 2011

I know it's wrong for a married man to lust over another woman and for a single man to lust over a married woman, but is it also wrong for a single man to lust over a single woman and if so, why is it a sin?

pinkputter · Nov 23, 2011

Lust, like other sins, are just impurities. But God knows these impurities are bad for us, so that's what makes them sin.

And another way to answer your question is, because He said so.

drich0150 · Nov 23, 2011

sh284 said:
I know it's wrong for a married man to lust over another woman and for a single man to lust over a married woman, but is it also wrong for a single man to lust over a single woman and if so, why is it a sin?

Yes.

Christ points to the desire of sex out of the context of Marriage as a sin.

ChristianT · Nov 24, 2011

@sh284
Yes, lusting of any kind is a sin. Because lust is the loveless physical attraction of another human being. Lust is what happens where you want who you can't have (because if the single girl doesn't love you, you can't "have" her). Love is (debatedly) the commitment to care about someone despite looks or emotions, and to commit your life to fulfill a person and their needs while (if you're a Christian) helping each other develop stronger relationships with God. Some might say that definition of love is for marriage. Yes, that's the definition for love that must be present before two people can become married. Even if you somehow get married out of lust and not love, it won't last and the resul won't be what God made marriage to be. Yes, a non-Christian are not held to develop a relationship with Gid since they don't believe in God. However God made marriage to be a commitment between the two to love each other unconditionally.

hedrick · Nov 24, 2011

To me the operative text is Mat 5:27 ff. The word translated "lust" has the sense of "covet". Indeed TEV translates with something like "looks at a woman to possess her." [from memory] My reading is that there's no problem admiring someone. For kids it's pretty natural even to imagine being with someone, although for a married person this would probably be unhealthy. It's when your attitude or intentions towards her or to women in general are affected that we have a problem. E.g. thinking of a woman or women as sex objects, rather than as potential partners in accordance with Biblical principles.

ChristianT · Nov 24, 2011

Grumpy Old Man said:
How do Christians get married then, seeing as you're not allowed to be attracted to someone?

who says you're not allowed to be attracted to someone? And who says marriage is based only on attraction? If attraction is all the marriage is based on, what happens when the attraction fades, be it the birthweight of a woman or the aging of both "parties?" What then, divorce is ok? "Eh, if they like each other, it doesn't matter if they're committed or not, let's let them get married."

I'm not saying marriage is bad, but basing it on only attraction is not complete. For some, such a marriage may be enough, but for Christians, marriage should be about commitment, and the pursuing of the continued relationship of couple and God.

ChristianT · Nov 24, 2011

Lust isn't a bad thing, but when a person acts upon those feelings, then it is wrong. Of course humans have feelings as this. It's in our nature, how can we stop our nature 100%, the best we can do is not act upon it. Anything further would be impossible for us. Christianity is the belief that God saw us and said, "Woah! You are all so imperfect and can't possibly reach my standard... Here, I'll let those of you who believe in me come on in......." He knows we think these things. The lust law is that we don't act upon it.

elahmine · Nov 24, 2011

The word lust can have two meanings, really. It can mean natural attraction, or it can mean the perversion of desire. So then it kind of depends, if your lust is at an unhealthy point.

elahmine · Nov 24, 2011

Like I said earlier the term lust can mean natural human attraction,not a sin,and the perversion of that attraction which is sin. Maybe not everyone but most people would agree that there is a time, a place, and who when it comes to sex. By that, I mean you don't go up and have sex with everyone that catches your eye. There are reason you choose one occasion or another.We just believe the time and place for it is inside of matrimony.

aiki · Nov 25, 2011

I know it's wrong for a married man to lust over another woman and for a single man to lust over a married woman, but is it also wrong for a single man to lust over a single woman and if so, why is it a sin?

Well, what do you mean by "lust over"? God made us to be attracted sexually to those of the opposite gender. It is perfectly all right to acknowledge that a women is beautiful and attractive. Indulging in sexual fantasies about her, however, is sin. It is not wicked for a single guy to think a women is "hot" but to then imagine having sexual relations with her most certainly is.

Why? Mainly because God has said it is a sin. It is also fairly obvious that lust of the sort I describe above takes what is legitimate (normal sexual attraction) and selfishly exaggerates and perverts it into something illegitimate and sinful (sexual fantasizing). It is also extremely disrespectful toward the woman you are fantasizing about, making her an object upon which to satisfy your selfish lust rather than a person God has called you to love in purity and holiness. As well, what one fantasizes about and preoccupies one's mind with inevitably shapes one's behaviour. Sin always begins in the mind where it is imagined and chosen and then enacted in one's behaviour. This is why we are given such verses as:

Philippians 4:8
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,
5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

One good thing about being an atheist now is that I can look at a woman without feeling guilty. This lust law in the Bible is totally unrealistic.

You mean you can look at a woman and lust after her without pangs of conscience. I wonder if the woman you do that to would appreciate being the object of your lust. It sounds to me from what you've written here that it doesn't matter to you what they might think.

Better to be a bad Christian and a good person than being a bad person but a good Christian

There is no such thing as "a bad person who is a good Christian." If you are a good Christian, you are a good person. That you think one can be a bad person but a good Christian suggests a serious prejudice in your thinking toward Christians and a profound ignorance of the tenets and ethics of the faith.

Selah.

razeontherock · Nov 25, 2011

Grumpy Old Man said:
How do Christians get married then, seeing as you're not allowed to be attracted to someone?

It really must be torment for Christians when they meet other single Christians they are attracted to. One good thing about being an atheist now is that I can look at a woman without feeling guilty.

Please look at post #6, which deals with this rather well.

Grumpy Old Man said:
This lust law in the Bible is totally unrealistic.

Again you are looking at things that made TOTAL SENSE in the context they were written in, and ripping them out of that context to arrive at your conclusion. Highly illogical! [/Spock]

When Jesus spoke about lust, there was essentially no such thing as a single woman. If she wasn't married, she was betrothed. And so were you. This does leave a good portion of our society in a position He never really addressed.

chilehed · Nov 26, 2011

sh284 said:
I know it's wrong for a married man to lust over another woman and for a single man to lust over a married woman, but is it also wrong for a single man to lust over a single woman and if so, why is it a sin?

Lust involves the objectification of the other. It treats them as a thing rather than as someone whose body expresses a person who is an icon of God.

razeontherock · Nov 26, 2011

So then by that definition, anything that doesn't reduce the other to an object, isn't sin.

chilehed · Nov 26, 2011

razeontherock said:
So then by that definition, anything that doesn't reduce the other to an object, isn't sin.

That's not what I was thinking, and it's a bit of a leap to get to that from what I said. "X involves Y and is therefore Z" can't reasonably be understood to be mean "no Y, therefore no Z.

But now that you mention it, I'm having a difficult time thinking of a sin that doesn't in some way involve treating a person as an object.

razeontherock · Nov 26, 2011

Exactly what I was thinking re: your post! Of course, we need the mind of the Lord on this ...

hedrick · Nov 26, 2011

chilehed said:
That's not what I was thinking, and it's a bit of a leap to get to that from what I said. "X involves Y and is therefore Z" can't reasonably be understood to be mean "no Y, therefore no Z.

But now that you mention it, I'm having a difficult time thinking of a sin that doesn't in some way involve treating a person as an object.

As I understand the Greek of Mat 5:28, "lust" is an evil desire. You can argue that it could be translated as wanting to possess the other person, and I've said that at times. But to be fair, the term is pretty vague, and might well refer to any improper desire.

Wanting to treat a partner as an object of gratification is a common way to do this. You cam argue that in the end all improper sexual desire works out to using someone for gratification, which is probably what you mean. But Christians have normally felt that sex is intended for marriage, and thus all extra-marital sex is improper, even if it isn't adulterous, and respects both people. Jesus' statement probably can't be used to reject that, although it doesn't explicitly support it either. It's expecting too much to get an entire sexual ethics from the definition of one word.

secondtimearound · Nov 27, 2011

sh284 said:
I know it's wrong for a married man to lust over another woman and for a single man to lust over a married woman, but is it also wrong for a single man to lust over a single woman and if so, why is it a sin?

If you lust over a single women then you will lust over all women meeting your physical requirements. Lust is the opposite of love, evil to your good. Anything that is against Love is against God and taints the purity of your heart. What God is untimely trying to clean.

chilehed · Nov 27, 2011

hedrick said:
As I understand the Greek of Mat 5:28, "lust" is an evil desire. You can argue that it could be translated as wanting to possess the other person, and I've said that at times. But to be fair, the term is pretty vague, and might well refer to any improper desire.

Wanting to treat a partner as an object of gratification is a common way to do this. You cam argue that in the end all improper sexual desire works out to using someone for gratification, which is probably what you mean. But Christians have normally felt that sex is intended for marriage, and thus all extra-marital sex is improper, even if it isn't adulterous, and respects both people. Jesus' statement probably can't be used to reject that, although it doesn't explicitly support it either. It's expecting too much to get an entire sexual ethics from the definition of one word.

If you really respected the other person or yourself, you wouldn't be having sexual relations outside of marriage.

FreeinChrist · Nov 30, 2011

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