Question about doing the right thing

[Anna Williams]

So, this is an issue. Spouse of many years was doing great with health habits, e.g., not smoking, eating right. He is no longer taking care of his health, eating things he's not supposed to and smoking. I don't like it but he's an adult. I am not comfortable cooking food that is detrimental to his health. I would like some opinions about this. Thank you.

 

[snoochface]

Have you told him how you feel? If not, I think you should. Somethings these changes in habits come as a result of stress at work, or other factors - including poor health in other areas of his life - and he may not be aware that he's lost control of things, or how far it's gone. He may not be aware of how it affects you.

If you've already talked about it and he still feels he wants to continue, then you're smart to let him make his own adult decisions. But you don't have to participate in them. You can ask him to smoke outside or out of your presence. The inconvenience of this may cause him to smoke less. You can tell him you aren't comfortable making unhealthy food, but if he would like to buy his own groceries and cook for himself, he is welcome to. Otherwise, cook what you'd normally cook for yourself, and offer him a portion.

I'd encourage you both to speak to his doctor about the change in his habits too. Sometimes hearing it from a more impartial party will have an effect.

 

[mkgal1]

Since he is an adult (as you mentioned).....and YOU don't wish to prepare food that you see as detrimental to his health....then, if I were you, I would cook food you would like to eat (and food that you believe is good for him). Otherwise.....I think he could shop for/prepare his own food. As far as the smoking goes....it's your home environment as well, and you should be able to not have to smell smoke. I think it'd be fair to ask him to smoke outside (and even leave his dirty laundry in the garage).

 

[singpeace]

Anna, I see how frustrating it can be. You care about your spouse's health and well-being because you love them.

My nephews have become vegans, and at first I rolled my eyes; I'm a steak lover. But eventually I decided to at least try some recipes.

Wow and wow! I found some amazing recipes that are absolutely healthy and taste amazing. I love steak... I'm a carnivore... I did not think these recipes could ever be as good as what I was used to eating.

If I were you, I would just make some of these dishes and not tell him anything about it being healthy. Just let him taste how great it is. Important... always use fresh ingredients when you can get them. In the meantime, love and pray pray pray.

Here are links for 2 of our favorites, and at the bottom of this page is one of our fav recipes.

Spinach and Mushroom Quesadillas Recipe

Pico De Gallo Recipe


Spaghetti (2 - 4 people)

Pasta made from spinach (veggie pasta)
1 can Hunt's mini diced tomatoes
1 can Hunt's tomato sauce
1 small to medium white onion
2 zucchini
3-5 button mushrooms (optional)
1 jar Newman's Own Sockarooni Spaghetti sauce
3-5 fresh cloves garlic
salt
pepper
2-5 TBS olive oil

Chop the onion into small pieces
mince the garlic cloves (I use onion chopper until pieces are minced tiny)
wash and slice the mushrooms.

In large skillet, saute onion, garlic and mushrooms in olive oil until onion is tender.
Chop zucchini into very small pieces and add to skillet mixture.

Pour in can of diced tomatoes, can of tomato sauce, and the jar of Newman's Own Sockarooni

Add salt and pepper to taste.

This is healthy; has lots of fiber, vitamins and few calories.
We love it!

 

[Anna Williams]

Thank you for the advice. He smokes outside, not in the house. We are mostly low carb, so have lots of meat and veggies. Tasty meals, so no suffering. Doctor won't make a difference though. He's going to do it his way. I will just have to do it mine. Several men his age have passed recently in our area. I hate saying no, but have to live with myself.

 

[singpeace]

Thank you for the advice. He smokes outside, not in the house. We are mostly low carb, so have lots of meat and veggies. Tasty meals, so no suffering. Doctor won't make a difference though. He's going to do it his way. I will just have to do it mine. Several men his age have passed recently in our area. I hate saying no, but have to live with myself.

Lord I pray that You would take away Anna's husband's desire to smoke and replace it with more and more of a desire to know You better and to draw ever closer to You in the days that lie ahead. Lord, I stand with Anna and believe that You are willing and able to give her husband the desire and the strength to quit. Precious Lord, give Anna peace, strength, patience, and wisdom. Her heart is for her husband, Lord. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen.


“Do not be anxious about anything,” the Bible tells us in the book of Philippians, chapter 4, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8-9