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Question about Adultery

babyangel

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If adultery breaks the marriage bond and the innocent can divorce and remarry, what happens to the guilty party. Since the marriage bond is broken and if they truly repented and turned to Christ could they not move on with their life and remarry also. This has nothing to do with my situation, it is just a question I have thought about during my studies. I guess my point is that if adultery breaks the marriage bond, then how could just the innocent be free and not the guilty one, if the innocent is remarried then who is the guilty party bonded to? I have been told in the past that the guilty party could never remarry just thought I would ask and see what your thoughts are.
 

Living Stone

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When the covenant, the bond of being one flesh, is broken and divorce has been filed and the marriage dissolved, then both parties no longer are married and are free to remarry....given that the reasons for divorce are permitted by Gods word.

This whole perpetual sin thing with remarriage is a joke doctrine that refuses to take all scripture into account in the context its written and also rejects the context of the scripture it does seem to allow for.

Example- theyll toss this passage at you....a wife is bound to her husband under the law unless hes dead.


ok, fine...but that doesnt take Deut 24:1-4 (the law) into account where a husband has divorced her and sent her away.


So there are details that these people arent giving you when they teach that silly little perpetual sin doctrine.

In Romans 7 there Paul isnt teaching the intricacies of marriage, but using marriage as an example to explain the law and our relationship to Christ.
If he were detailing out the law on marriage and all of the fine print, then hed have to include Deut 24:1 (the Law) and its concession on divorce.

Jesus said Moses permitted them to divorce over their hardness of heart.
Taking what they were doing it over, we can see that it was over many, many things and very trivial matters at that......THAT is hardness of heart.

Jesus says from the beginning it wasnt this way, God made them ONE man to be with ONE woman and for life.
Jesus says ONLY by harlotry (thereby defiling the marraige bed) can one put away a spouse....for any other reason would cause any remarriage to be adultery.

When the covenant is severed, it is severed for both parties.

But God doesnt allow loopholes as mans law does.

He knows full well the intents of the heart (enter the crime of adultery merely by lusting after someone) so if say a man was to cheat on his wife believing that he can end his covenant with her just so he can marry his fling, God may not be inclined to say that the marriage is over in HIS eyes.

But if say he made a mistake and cheated, his wife divorced him, then later he was truely repentant for his sins, then yes he would be free to remarry.

------------------
Something else of interest.
Some really use that Romans passage about the law stating that a wife is bound to her husband all his days.
They seeemingly ignore that Paul couldnt have been discussing the whole law concerning marriage as he didnt bring Deut 24:1 into the discussion.

What I find interesting is that in Deut 24 it states that once a man divorced his wife and she say went out and married aother man that she can NEVER return to her previous husband.

If those teaching the she MUST return to her first husband even if she has been married again are wrong, then the sin they are causing some folks to commit an abomination before God.

If she has not been put away and has remained single and she returns to her husband, then all is well.

But if Jesus DOES permit divorce/remarraige for adultery and this woman has been divorced over it and then she goes and marries another man, then for her to ever return to her first husband as his wife is abominable if that be the case.

Which means if those of us who believe that divorce/remarraige are permissable for the case of harlotry (thereby defiling of the marriage bed) are correct, the those that are preaching that she must leave this second husband and return to her first are actaully teaching her to commit this thing that is abominable.
 
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babyangel

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Thank you for your response Living Stone, but I do have one other question. Say a husband doesnt have anyone in mind while being married but divorces his wife so he could look for someone else, not to be remarried but just to have sex, how does this affect the woman being divorced, would the marriage be ended in Gods eyes?
 
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Yitzchak

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Once you are divorced, you are divorced. That is clear in both the old and the new testaments. Whether or not it was a sin or not is an issue but even in the case of sin , a divorce is still a divorce.

There are some people who choose to reconcile with their ex even after divorce but they have to go through a whole new marriage ceremony to satisfy the courts. They cannot just annul their divorce.

There is sucha thing as restitution in the bible. Where we make ammends for our sins. Such as if we have stolen money, we return what we have stolen. In the case of divorce, there is such a thing as ammends too. It can be an apology. It could be taking on the responsibility of helping to fix the financial situation that resulted from divorce. The ex should not suffer for my sin , even financially, if it is in my power to mend it.
 
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-Celeborn-

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Sounds to me like Pauls saying "let the unbeliever leave".
Paul says the believer is not bound in such cases.
In my opinion, not being bound means the believer is completely free to remarry, not being bound to that union.

 
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Jennifer615

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Extremely good point!!!!! I am divorced and remarried and I have had fundamentals say I must divorce my husband and return to my ex. Don't they realise they are telling me to do something abominable before God!!!
 
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SirKenin

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Jennifer615 said:
Extremely good point!!!!! I am divorced and remarried and I have had fundamentals say I must divorce my husband and return to my ex. Don't they realise they are telling me to do something abominable before God!!!

I don't get that impression as much as I get the impression that you did something abominable to begin with. Somehow I doubt the Bible is asking you to leave your second husband. That just doesn't make any sense. The only answer is to divorce and remain celibate, and if I recall correctly the Bible provides for that but darn it all if I can remember the exact verse off the top of my head.
 
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-Celeborn-

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Let me guess... Romans 7:1-2 or 1 Corinthians chapter 7?

I think those have been covered enough
 
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Jennifer615

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Well let me tell you what is abominable. It is a husband mentally, emotionally and spiritually abusing his wife every day until she is so devestated she doesn't know who she is anymore! Besides, it says no where in the Bible that divorce is an abomination!!!!! The God of the Bible whom I believe in WOULD NOT force a woman to be a sacrificial victim for the sake of the "marriage" if unrepentant abuse is happening daily! I have repented of my part in the divorce and God has forgiven me, and has blessed me in a new marriage with a good man. Forcing someone to remain single is requiring them to do penance, when they have done nothing wrong.

Don't you dare judge me sirkenen!!!
 
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Grishnak

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Jennifer615 said:
Well let me tell you what is abominable. It is a husband mentally, emotionally and spiritually abusing his wife every day until she is so devestated she doesn't know who she is anymore!

Amen sis.
Precisely why deut 24:1 had to be written.

Godless men, as brute beasts fit for destruction, as Peter might say, treating this precious gift God has given them as possesion meant only for their pleasure, then to be cast aside or misused at will.



Besides, it says no where in the Bible that divorce is an abomination!!!!!
It says God hates divorce, then Jesus turns right around and makes provision for such over harlotry.
Paul concedes as well, that the believer isnt bound to the unbeliever if they leave.
Funny that Jesus also defends Davids breaking of the law out of necessity when he was hungry, a matter of urgency and need.

Some might actaully believe it was ok for David to break the law over hunger, and Jesus defending him, then turn around and tell an abused wife to stay with her husband who is beating and raping her.

Quite an odd bunch we are.
Strain at a gnat, we will, then swallow a camel.




The God of the Bible whom I believe in WOULD NOT force a woman to be a sacrificial victim for the sake of the "marriage" if unrepentant abuse is happening daily!
Seeing that Jesus actaully defended Davids taking and eating forbidden bread out of necessity, mere hunger mind you, Id say your quite right that Jesus wouldnt permit a woman to remain in danger with some animal calling himself a husband.
I have repented of my part in the divorce and God has forgiven me, and has blessed me in a new marriage with a good man. Forcing someone to remain single is requiring them to do penance, when they have done nothing wrong.
Mistakes are made, marrying someone who betrays us purposely being a common one these days with so little morality and love left in this world.
You have repented of your mistakes, you are forgiven by our Lord, and you move on.

Paul said ''forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forward to those things which are ahead".

Mistakes have been made and provision for forgiveness for those mistakes given.

Put what is behind in the past sister, ignore in here who you have to, and look forward to the prize at the end of the race
 
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SirKenin

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He could be the worst person in the world, but if he didn't cheat on you or if he didn't leave you as an unbeliever, the Bible does not allow you to be remarried. I'm not judging you, I'm only telling you the truth. Judging is condemning someone to hell, and I'm not doing that. That's God's place to do that, not mine.
 
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Grishnak

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He could be the worst person in the world, but if he didn't cheat on you or if he didn't leave you as an unbeliever, the Bible does not allow you to be remarried.

it says that adultery is commited if the person isnt put away for harlotry, then remarries.

Sorry to you and your like, but that adultery was never pronounced as unforgivable or this bogus ongoing sin.

Paul says to remain unmarried or return to the husband,
Guess what, they didnt.
So a sin possibly was commited.
A forgiveable sin.

Jesus wasnt so hard as to think that there arent circumstances in life where mistakes are made and we do as He told the woman to do ''go and sin no more''.

This woman made mistakes.
Possibly adultery against her covenant with her husband was commited by marrying another.
That is in the past now.
She has repented and is forgiven regardless of this half baked doctrine in here.
 
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SirKenin

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Only God can answer that. All I know is that the Bible specifically condemns adulterers to hell in 1Cor 6:9 and Jesus speaks out against it specifically. I don't think you should come along and speak in it's favor.

Repenting is no good if you don't turn your back on your sin. The Bible specifically tells us this and goes on further to state that we are not to tempt God's grace.

HOWEVER, that notwithstanding I have NO idea how God is going to look upon it and I'm not going to speak out on His behalf. I will merely reiterate what the Bible has to say and according to it adultery is indefensible, no matter what angle you approach it from.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
 
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Grishnak

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Only God can answer that. All I know is that the Bible specifically condemns adulterers to hell in 1Cor 6:9 and Jesus speaks out against it specifically. I don't think you should come along and speak in it's favor.
I take all scripture on the matter into account.
I dont just parrot 2 or 3 passages that are out of context or not showing the complete picture.
Adultery agianst a marriage covenant is not an unforgivable sin.

Repenting is no good if you don't turn your back on your sin. The Bible specifically tells us this and goes on further to state that we are not to tempt God's grace.
And she has turned.
She has repented, forgetting what is behind and looking forward to the end of the race.

you got to love a man who can defend flirting with other women, then think that Jesus cannot forgive the past sin of adultery.

She made a mistake.
Theres no need to make more by divorcing yet another husband without cause.
 
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seebs

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I would say that if either party can remarry, both can.
 
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SirKenin

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Grishnak said:
I take all scripture on the matter into account.
I dont just parrot 2 or 3 passages that are out of context or not showing the complete picture.
Adultery agianst a marriage covenant is not an unforgivable sin.

It may be forgiven, but if you do not turn your back on what you are doing (living in a sinful marriage) then you are testing God's grace and we are strictly warned against that. If you did your Bible research you would be forced to agree. It's not unforgivable that's the term you're looking for. It's perpetual.

And she has turned.
She has repented, forgetting what is behind and looking forward to the end of the race.

Has she turned? I don't think so. She's still in the relationship that is causing her to sin. That's not turning at all. That's just testing God. In other words "I sinned, I know. But I said I'm sorry so that means I can carry on doing whatever I want". Sorry, but the Bible says it doesn't work that way. I have to say that from my research (and I studied this topic extensively. I am divorced myself, hence the exhaustive research, including well known names like Matthew Henry. I will believe him over you) I will have to disagree with you.

Anyways, it's ultimately up to God to decide. I know you are mistaken in your presentation and that's all that matters to me. However I know that I am not God and God, being omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent supercedes anything that I, Matthew Henry, Strong's Concordance, Thayers Lexicon, the KJV or the NIV, David Guzak, Naves Dictionary, Torrey's Dictionary, Easton Dictionary, Vines Dictionary or any other source has to say (see, I told you I did my research).
 
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Grishnak

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It may be forgiven, but if you do not turn your back on what you are doing (living in a sinful marriage) then you are testing God's grace

IF your covenant was broken without just cause, then yes.
IF she left or if she played the harlot then you are wrong.

I will have to disagree with you.
It is apparent that you choose to disagree with everyone.
Including those who council you to stop flirting with women when your commiting to a relationship.
 
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babyangel

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SirKenin said:
Living Stone, where your argument fails is when you try to mix Deuteronomic Law with the New Law. Christians are no longer bound to OT Law as a result of being born again, thanks to Jesus' death and resurrection.

I am not trying to debate anything here, just looking for answers. If something is so questionable how can it just be that cut and dry no divorce.

Again, I need someone to answer this for me. If there is no divorce allowed then why does the bible need to make a point about a man having sex with a virgin and then having to marry her and never divorcing her?? What is the need to never divorce her if divorce was not allowed anyways. And also, I know of alot of Chrisitans out there that didnt save themselves for marriage to be with a person, according to the bible you should be married to the person who broke your virginity or to the person that broke yours, it may not be a direct commandment but it is going against the bible. How come so many people can just overlook little parts of the bible but only want to listen to the big things just because they are listed as sins, shouldnt christians strive to be the best they can be. And not commit fornication, etc etc. You know what I may believe that Gods ideal was for a couple not to divorce, but people do sin, and if people sin and they dont want to be saves what can the innocent do? I am not gonna sit around for another 2 or 3 years praying he finds his way. He is still being verbally and mentally abusive and I want away from him period. I want to change my number etc, but until things are legal I cant do that. I think I gave him fair warning and time to change, instead he still turns to his pot. In 2003 he began sleeping on the couch, I was ok with this because well previously to that was when things were really bad. He still wanted sex but it wasnt often. In 2002-2004 I told him time and time again I was not happy etc, because of his behavoiur, and again it was oh I will change yada yada. Well in early 2004 I saw he didnt change and I ended up with my whole forearm bruised and had a big lump. It wasnt because at that point he was physically attacking me, it was because he was trying to keep me in the house, (when I felt unsafe I would run out) he grabbed me and would not let me go, that is how scared I was and how much I needed to get away from him. I showed him after and he felt bad, but I said a wife should not be that afraid of her husband. He said yeah I know why do you act like that. Cant you see, he thought it was all my fault again, and I was dumb for acting like that, but I have many many reasons to feel that way, like being attacked so many times, and when he came at me with the same rage in his eyes I paniced, and this was all infront of my 5 year old. So you see although I dont believe in divorce in all instances I do believe in it for some, although I do beleive in prayer for healing and helping me, If I have not had help with my marriage for 5 years, then what am I to what 10 and hopes he changes. So much lost wasted time of my life. Ever hear the song Unanswered Prayers, but Garth Brooks, maybe there is some truth behind it, If God knows all and sees all, maybe this is his way of saying a marriage especially if there is abuse it is unequally yoked, it should not be, and praryers of marriages being saved are not always answered because it wont change for the better.

"Sometimes I thank god for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of god's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

Again, and please know these are just my thoughts but I know this goes against those Christians out there that believe no divorce no remarriage, but I don't think it is coming from the bible, God is not a God of confusion, but of peace." (1 Corinthians 14:33) A doctrine that has as many serious problems and holes in it as does the traditional marriage, divorce and remarriage doctrine has to be the product of man’s reasoning, and not God’s.
 
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If Not For Grace

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"Repenting is no good if you don't turn your back on your sin. The Bible specifically tells us this and goes on further to state that we are not to tempt God's grace."


But once the deed is done, and one has sought forgiveness, the DEED is erased.

If I married young (before being saved) divorced due to adultry, later got saved, then married a Christian am I living in adultry?

God said "Go marry a harlot"-----Did he command a man to sin?
 
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