- Oct 15, 2011
- 10
- 1
- Faith
- Baptist
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hi There,
I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD, but after looking over all of the information out there, I am fairly certain that I am Pure O, as my "issues" throughout my life have been mental, not compulsive. I had some compulsions when I was a child, but I outgrew them.
My major problems began in the spring after a period of *extreme* stress in college, much more than I had experienced previously. A Christian friend had sent me information about a man who gave lectures during the 1970's about a pagan New Age group that had been active in the music business, putting "subliminal messages" into songs or cursing LP's with "demons" etc., in order to bring down Christianity. My friend was sending this to me innocently, as a way of saying "Wow, look what they did back then," but as I later researched and discovered, the man was a hoax with a criminal background, but it scared me nonetheless during a time when I already had enough to worry and fret about. I began obsessing over this big-time. I heard the words "Satan, enter me" in my head, as if I had thought them, though I had no intention to (very similar to what I have read about people who suffer from Scrupulosity). I had a panic attack from this and although I was able to overcome it temporarily, especially after discovering that people with Scrupulosity experience similar oddities, since then I have had moments when I have had similar repeated phrases in my head that I have a compulsion to think, despite my fear and revulsion to them. I feel like I have no control over these thoughts and it's killing me. The only time it has really ceased was when my husband and I took a week long trip to England. For some reason, it disappeared for about a week. I think this was because I didn't have any stress on me at the time, but I'm not sure.Obviously this is upsetting me more than I can say. I have always been very strong in my faith and I don’t know why this is happening to me. I have prayed and prayed asking the Lord to give me peace. My husband is very supportive of me, so that helps, but most of the time I feel so alone, like I’m being tortured and I don’t understand why. It’s getting better gradually, but it’s not 100%. Some days are worse than others and I notice that my experiences get worse during the nighttime as opposed to the day. I have had moments where I fear possession, that something bad is going to happen, that I have inadvertently caused something horrible or that I'm essentially stuck in a doorway of blasphemous thoughts that only cease for a few days at a time.
If anyone has any information that could help me or words of support, they would be *greatly* appreciated. I just want to get back to feeling the way I did before all of this happened and I need that DESPERATELY. Please help me if you can. Thank you!!
I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD, but after looking over all of the information out there, I am fairly certain that I am Pure O, as my "issues" throughout my life have been mental, not compulsive. I had some compulsions when I was a child, but I outgrew them.
My major problems began in the spring after a period of *extreme* stress in college, much more than I had experienced previously. A Christian friend had sent me information about a man who gave lectures during the 1970's about a pagan New Age group that had been active in the music business, putting "subliminal messages" into songs or cursing LP's with "demons" etc., in order to bring down Christianity. My friend was sending this to me innocently, as a way of saying "Wow, look what they did back then," but as I later researched and discovered, the man was a hoax with a criminal background, but it scared me nonetheless during a time when I already had enough to worry and fret about. I began obsessing over this big-time. I heard the words "Satan, enter me" in my head, as if I had thought them, though I had no intention to (very similar to what I have read about people who suffer from Scrupulosity). I had a panic attack from this and although I was able to overcome it temporarily, especially after discovering that people with Scrupulosity experience similar oddities, since then I have had moments when I have had similar repeated phrases in my head that I have a compulsion to think, despite my fear and revulsion to them. I feel like I have no control over these thoughts and it's killing me. The only time it has really ceased was when my husband and I took a week long trip to England. For some reason, it disappeared for about a week. I think this was because I didn't have any stress on me at the time, but I'm not sure.Obviously this is upsetting me more than I can say. I have always been very strong in my faith and I don’t know why this is happening to me. I have prayed and prayed asking the Lord to give me peace. My husband is very supportive of me, so that helps, but most of the time I feel so alone, like I’m being tortured and I don’t understand why. It’s getting better gradually, but it’s not 100%. Some days are worse than others and I notice that my experiences get worse during the nighttime as opposed to the day. I have had moments where I fear possession, that something bad is going to happen, that I have inadvertently caused something horrible or that I'm essentially stuck in a doorway of blasphemous thoughts that only cease for a few days at a time.
If anyone has any information that could help me or words of support, they would be *greatly* appreciated. I just want to get back to feeling the way I did before all of this happened and I need that DESPERATELY. Please help me if you can. Thank you!!