punishment advice

I can relate! I have a 12 year old, and it is still a struggle to keep up with his homework and other school assignments. Part of it is that kids today have WAY more homework than I ever did as a child - is it like that for your son as well? Also, with computers, more and more work is expected to be done on a computer via websites and such. I mean, when I was in elementary school, it was just read this chapter or do this worksheet. Heck, I'm the mom, and even I have trouble keeping up with what's due and when. I've also tried grounding, taking things away, lecturing, you name it. Right now we're trying a new discipline of grounding him to his bedroom for about 10 days straight. He has no TV in there, no computer, no electronics of any kind. He's not allowed to be on the phone or be out in the house for anything except using the bathroom and coming and going to school (he's eating meals in his room). This seems to be pretty effective because my son is extremely sociable and HATES to be alone with nobody to talk to. Only time will tell if this makes a lasting impression on him, but we're really at our wits' end.

I would advise a parent-teacher conference for you. I'm sure your son's teachers have email. I'd ask them to send me a list of all his homework assignments at the beginning of each week. I keep in close contact with my son's teachers because, frankly, the way they assign homework is so convoluted and confusing, it hurts my brain. But if you know what homework was assigned each day, you can meet him at the door and ask to see it, go through it with him, and then email the teacher the next day to see if he turned it in. Another option would be to ask the school to have him do homework during recess time, and see if that doesn't "inspire" him to be more responsible. Most kids would hate to lose recess time with their friends, and doing it right there means he can't misplace it or "forget" it. Maybe a week of that would make an impact on him.

Make sure you praise any and every good bit of work that he does. Make sure he knows that you believe in him, that he can improve with hard work. Every time we discipline or take something away to correct our kids, we have to replace it with something constructive and positive. Otherwise you just end up with a very resentful, grumpy kid who doesn't know what to do with his energy.

Best wishes!

my 9yro brings his homework hoe but its hard to get him to do it because he feels he cant do it perfectly so he wont do it my 5yro is followin right behind grrr. if i learn anything new i will tell you lol

What if you sat him down at the table and told him he could get up when his homework was done, the end. No TV, no playing, no music, no walking around, no nothing, just sitting there? (For most kids bordem will eventually over rule stubbornness)

They'll still figure out pretty quickly that all they have to do is claim they don't have any homework, or they've already done it, or the teacher said they didn't have to do it, etc. Kids are crafty!!