PTSD*** Trigger***

[The4Rs]

I realize I have PTSD. I have all the symptoms except the nightmares. I am at the very beginning of my healing with God. I thought that all I was recovering from was a gang rape at 7 and physical, emotional and verbal abuse by my step father. (not that any of that is taken lightly!)

But apparently memories are starting to point to another issue even earlier that 7yo. I have shock at certian things that trigger memories of the beginning. No memory of what actually happened yet.

did anyone else start out this way? Am I normal? I thought PTSD had nightmares. I haven't had any. Maybe my mind is not feeling safe yet to pour out the memories.

Anyway, thanks for the help!
Love and prayers to you all!

 

[Criada]

I haven't had that, just the nightmares, and the gradual re-emergence of memories which I don't know are real..
But.. however it comes, I think that it is necessary to get the memories out, to a place where we can look at them, and come to terms with them... and eventually let God take them. And one day they will all be out.. gone, and freedom will come
Praying for you as you go through this, sis... if you need someone to talk to, please PM me any time.

 

[Ariel]

I have had to deal with memories from my early years as well as a traumatic experience that happened in my late 30's. I was diagnosed with major depression and PTSD. The only way to heal, I found, was to face the memories, just as Criada said.

I have a theory that you can only put so much garbage into your mind and then it needs to come out. Not that I had put the garbage in--others had--but I had tried to contain it for too many years. Such horrible memories make you sick--it's like having a something in you which is festering--it starts to make you sick in every way. It comes out in flashbacks, panic attacks, nightmares. You feel like you are reliving the trauma again and again. You may be fractured--splintered, trying to be the adult you now are, but still the scared little child.

You can heal, this is possible. The healing starts by facing your memories down--recognizing them, processing them. As you pull them out it is okay to get angry--it's a step towards healing, and the Bible says, "Be angry but do not sin." Anger in itself is not sin. Past the anger stage is grieving what might have been. Finally you come to a stage where you choose to forgive, as Jesus told us to do, Matthew 6:14-15. You may have to forgive 70 X7 times in one week, but you keep on forgiving. You give it to the Lord, you ask Him to restore what the enemy has stolen--and by that time you realize that those memories no longer have power over you.

You come to a place where finally you have power over the memories. You are no longer traumatized, you can think about what happened and it no longer affects you emotionally. This is the place of healing.

You can get well, you will get will. With God's help you can be completely healed.

Praying for you!