I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago as a result of my time as a medic overseas. This was on top of trauma from my years growing up, which was on top of trauma of sexual abuse from my childhood. Quite a mess really. The most terror I have ever endured though was the time period between turning to God, and finally realizing the grace of Christ. I don't think anything could have prepared me for the onslaught of the adversary of our souls. Seriously, it was easier being shot at than coming to terms with the realities of sin.
I'm generally shy, but now that has become even more complex. Highly awkward, irritable with a lot of social anxiety.
As a result of this I don't get out all too much, and tend to spend my time at home, and limited time with my family. For a while we tried going to church, but that didn't end too well, but I'm ever hopeful that my family and I can find a body to join with. I'm fully retired from the military (honorable) and have been placed on permanent and total disability through the VA. This seems to cause a lot of problems for people. I'm sorry that they feel this way, but they haven't had to walk a mile in my shoes. I'm not blaming all of my problems on other people, believe me, I can be difficult to be around. Rather than stay and be a problem, it's easier to go my way in peace; forgiving others as I would ask God to forgive me.
Now to the crux of the matter, as it were. God is good. Regardless of all of my failings as a human being, when I need to rise to the occasion to meet someones need; he removes all of my burdens and helps me to walk in the way, with humility, compassion and grace. It is written that our footsteps are ordered by God, and I praise his name for that. Anybody that has experienced the change that a relationship with the LORD can manifest in the heart of a believer knows that we walk in truth.
This next part isn't biblical, but it's how i feel. When PTSD reared its ugly head in my life, I was just starting to make my way successfully in the world; much longer and I would have been established. Sometimes I think that maybe the LORD did me a favor by not allowing me to cleave to the world so I would not find my comfort there. It seems to me, that not only did this affliction come at the right time, but that the LORD did too, right when I needed him the most. I was a horrible sinner, and He looked past that, giving me freedom and peace.
Thanks be to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God IS good, and his mercy endures forever!
I'm generally shy, but now that has become even more complex. Highly awkward, irritable with a lot of social anxiety.
As a result of this I don't get out all too much, and tend to spend my time at home, and limited time with my family. For a while we tried going to church, but that didn't end too well, but I'm ever hopeful that my family and I can find a body to join with. I'm fully retired from the military (honorable) and have been placed on permanent and total disability through the VA. This seems to cause a lot of problems for people. I'm sorry that they feel this way, but they haven't had to walk a mile in my shoes. I'm not blaming all of my problems on other people, believe me, I can be difficult to be around. Rather than stay and be a problem, it's easier to go my way in peace; forgiving others as I would ask God to forgive me.
Now to the crux of the matter, as it were. God is good. Regardless of all of my failings as a human being, when I need to rise to the occasion to meet someones need; he removes all of my burdens and helps me to walk in the way, with humility, compassion and grace. It is written that our footsteps are ordered by God, and I praise his name for that. Anybody that has experienced the change that a relationship with the LORD can manifest in the heart of a believer knows that we walk in truth.
This next part isn't biblical, but it's how i feel. When PTSD reared its ugly head in my life, I was just starting to make my way successfully in the world; much longer and I would have been established. Sometimes I think that maybe the LORD did me a favor by not allowing me to cleave to the world so I would not find my comfort there. It seems to me, that not only did this affliction come at the right time, but that the LORD did too, right when I needed him the most. I was a horrible sinner, and He looked past that, giving me freedom and peace.
Thanks be to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
God IS good, and his mercy endures forever!
