I am reading this book that I got a while back called "Real Moms".... written by two mothers and endorsed by MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) I don't know if you guys know what that is... anyway I would like to share part of it that really made me think and I hope you guys enjoy it as I did. If you stick with it there are verses in there and good meaty stuff 
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Good moms protect their children from the bad stuff in life; bad moms don't. This myth is tricky because it starts out as truth and then moves to impossibility and even to harm.
Huh? But we love our children! How can protecting them be harmful? Well, love that starts out as protective in the mother-child relationship needs to change with each developmental season. We moms have to learn to transition from expressing our love as protection with infants and babies to expressing it in other ways as our children mature. If no? We'll be trapped in a world or worry and our kids will be trapped in our protective shield, never able to grow up.
This can be challenging. Every mother wants to protect her kid from the bullies and pain and bad stuff of this world. She forgot her homework? Oh, just run it up to school. It's only a few blocks and then the child won't get points off. Good grades make us all feel good-- kid and mom, huh? He struck out at bat . . . again? Rats. And we prayed so hard! Oh well, shoot him full of praise. Criticize the pitcher and the umpire. Make him forget his errors. Tell him how great he is and next time he'll knock it out of the park! That will make us all feel good.
We swallow the myth that good moms protect their kids from all the bad stuff, and we often end up overprotecting. (I cut some more examples out to make this a little shorter)
What's a real mom to do? Learn the difference between protecting and preparing and accept the reality of some worry in the process. Here's the truth: when our children are very, very young, we prepare them by protecting them. If we didn't hold up their heads to feed, they'd choke. If we didn't train them not to touch a hot stove... you ge the point. By as our children grow, we protect them by preparing them for real life. We teach them how to handle the bad stuff that comes, so they can recognize it and handle it themselves later on. Real moms allow their children to realize that they're not good at everything, that sometimes they will strike out and lose the game and that they might not always make A's and B's.
Sounds harsh and hard. It is. But it's worth it, because when we remember this goal of our mothering, we realize this is the way to become better mothers. We can't change the world for our children, but perhaps we can change our children for the world. We can't change someone else's unkind child to make him be kinder to our child, but perhaps we can change our child to learn to live with unkind people in the world.
Real moms understand this realistic responsibility. So naturally, real moms worry some. They worry some because they know that some bad stuff will happen to their kids, but they keep their eyes on who their child is becoming as he or she learsn to cope with life's bad stuff.
How does this work?
The first step is the toughest. Let go and trust God with your child. Oh, right. But really, this is where preparation, rather than protection, begins. Think about it this way. As a mom, you want to raise a healthy, independent, well-adjusted child who handles life on his or her own. Right? To prepare them for whatever they might face as young, middle and older adults, you have the chance to help them practice handling life as a child. And they can't learn to handle life themselves when you're handling it all for them.
While your child is a baby, you carry her about. Its easiest for both of you. She likes it. You get where you need to go. But as she ages, you have to put your child down, let her learn to walk, to run, to look both ways and cross streets alone, to drive, to date, to explore and study. She can't do that if you continue to carry her, can she? What works for the child in early childhood does not work for her in later childhood. Inappropriate protection or cocooning becomes more about our need to be in control than the need of our children to grow up.
We need to understand here that we're not letting go or laying down our child to just nobody at all. This vital step of release is one of placing her into God's hands. Long ago, Martin Luther observed, "I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all; but that which I have committed to God, that I still possess." In Proverbs 3:5-6 we're advised similarly: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways ackowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Notice the word lean. Just as we're not to lean on ourselves and our understanding, as moms we want to teach our children not to lean on us ultimately but rather to lean on God.
No doubt, this is the hardest aspect of mothering for so many of us. That's why we're saying that real moms are Worry-Some moms. Even when we choose trust, we'll still struggle. What worked only a few years ago just doesn't work as our children grow up. We are agonized by the challenge of holding back our arms from a moment that really doesn't require our picking up and protecting our child but rathers asks us to prepare that child. Understanding the process of maturity helps, how it happens in the lives of all of us as humans.See we don't learn all that much in the fat times of life. Rather its in the skinny times when there's not enough of there's no answers. It's in times of trial that we really grow. "God, it has been said, does not comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. Lighthouses are built by ex-drowning sailors. Roads are widened by mangled morotists. Where nobody suffers, nobody cares."
Surely this is what Paul meant in Romans 5:3-5 when he wrote, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us.
Allow for mistakes.Expect failure. Welcome both as teachable momentsand opportunities to teach critical-thinking skills. (cut more stuff out here its long)
Real moms move from protecting their children in life to preparing their children for life. They expect the bad stuff to come, and they use it to prepare their kids to handle those challenges on their own. Real moms expect to worry some. But then also look past their worries to see the bigger picture of what God can do with the bad stuff of life in the lives of their children.
----------------------------
Whew thats long... sorry.
But I still thought it was cool.
---------------------------------
Good moms protect their children from the bad stuff in life; bad moms don't. This myth is tricky because it starts out as truth and then moves to impossibility and even to harm.
Huh? But we love our children! How can protecting them be harmful? Well, love that starts out as protective in the mother-child relationship needs to change with each developmental season. We moms have to learn to transition from expressing our love as protection with infants and babies to expressing it in other ways as our children mature. If no? We'll be trapped in a world or worry and our kids will be trapped in our protective shield, never able to grow up.
This can be challenging. Every mother wants to protect her kid from the bullies and pain and bad stuff of this world. She forgot her homework? Oh, just run it up to school. It's only a few blocks and then the child won't get points off. Good grades make us all feel good-- kid and mom, huh? He struck out at bat . . . again? Rats. And we prayed so hard! Oh well, shoot him full of praise. Criticize the pitcher and the umpire. Make him forget his errors. Tell him how great he is and next time he'll knock it out of the park! That will make us all feel good.
We swallow the myth that good moms protect their kids from all the bad stuff, and we often end up overprotecting. (I cut some more examples out to make this a little shorter)
What's a real mom to do? Learn the difference between protecting and preparing and accept the reality of some worry in the process. Here's the truth: when our children are very, very young, we prepare them by protecting them. If we didn't hold up their heads to feed, they'd choke. If we didn't train them not to touch a hot stove... you ge the point. By as our children grow, we protect them by preparing them for real life. We teach them how to handle the bad stuff that comes, so they can recognize it and handle it themselves later on. Real moms allow their children to realize that they're not good at everything, that sometimes they will strike out and lose the game and that they might not always make A's and B's.
Sounds harsh and hard. It is. But it's worth it, because when we remember this goal of our mothering, we realize this is the way to become better mothers. We can't change the world for our children, but perhaps we can change our children for the world. We can't change someone else's unkind child to make him be kinder to our child, but perhaps we can change our child to learn to live with unkind people in the world.
Real moms understand this realistic responsibility. So naturally, real moms worry some. They worry some because they know that some bad stuff will happen to their kids, but they keep their eyes on who their child is becoming as he or she learsn to cope with life's bad stuff.
How does this work?
The first step is the toughest. Let go and trust God with your child. Oh, right. But really, this is where preparation, rather than protection, begins. Think about it this way. As a mom, you want to raise a healthy, independent, well-adjusted child who handles life on his or her own. Right? To prepare them for whatever they might face as young, middle and older adults, you have the chance to help them practice handling life as a child. And they can't learn to handle life themselves when you're handling it all for them.
While your child is a baby, you carry her about. Its easiest for both of you. She likes it. You get where you need to go. But as she ages, you have to put your child down, let her learn to walk, to run, to look both ways and cross streets alone, to drive, to date, to explore and study. She can't do that if you continue to carry her, can she? What works for the child in early childhood does not work for her in later childhood. Inappropriate protection or cocooning becomes more about our need to be in control than the need of our children to grow up.
We need to understand here that we're not letting go or laying down our child to just nobody at all. This vital step of release is one of placing her into God's hands. Long ago, Martin Luther observed, "I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all; but that which I have committed to God, that I still possess." In Proverbs 3:5-6 we're advised similarly: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways ackowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Notice the word lean. Just as we're not to lean on ourselves and our understanding, as moms we want to teach our children not to lean on us ultimately but rather to lean on God.
No doubt, this is the hardest aspect of mothering for so many of us. That's why we're saying that real moms are Worry-Some moms. Even when we choose trust, we'll still struggle. What worked only a few years ago just doesn't work as our children grow up. We are agonized by the challenge of holding back our arms from a moment that really doesn't require our picking up and protecting our child but rathers asks us to prepare that child. Understanding the process of maturity helps, how it happens in the lives of all of us as humans.See we don't learn all that much in the fat times of life. Rather its in the skinny times when there's not enough of there's no answers. It's in times of trial that we really grow. "God, it has been said, does not comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters. Lighthouses are built by ex-drowning sailors. Roads are widened by mangled morotists. Where nobody suffers, nobody cares."
Surely this is what Paul meant in Romans 5:3-5 when he wrote, "We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us.
Allow for mistakes.Expect failure. Welcome both as teachable momentsand opportunities to teach critical-thinking skills. (cut more stuff out here its long)
Real moms move from protecting their children in life to preparing their children for life. They expect the bad stuff to come, and they use it to prepare their kids to handle those challenges on their own. Real moms expect to worry some. But then also look past their worries to see the bigger picture of what God can do with the bad stuff of life in the lives of their children.
----------------------------
Whew thats long... sorry.
But I still thought it was cool.
