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Proposing to girlfriend of 3 years...

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ivnmetal

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Have a question about proposing. My gf and I have been dating for 3 years and have talked about our future together. We've talked about everything; home, kids, careers, etc... But was wondering for any who have been through this if you consulted with the SO's parent(s), sibling, etc.. or just not told anyone and let the news carry over?

Much help appreciated
 

Cute Tink

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No parents were consulted in my case. After we were engaged, then we informed everyone.

That is something that you should work out as a couple though. If one of you has expectations that the other doesn't, it could cause some trouble.
 
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ivnmetal

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Cute Tink said:
No parents were consulted in my case. After we were engaged, then we informed everyone.

That is something that you should work out as a couple though. If one of you has expectations that the other doesn't, it could cause some trouble.
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So far she hasn't hinted or mentioned anything about it, though, I might tell her sister (only 2 out of 3) and tell her tonight.

I do plan on proposing this Sat.
 
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High Fidelity

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I think it depends on your relationship with the family.

If you have a good relationship with the father then, and this is just me, I'd seek his guidance in preparing yourself spiritually for becoming a husband and spiritual head of potentially children as well.

Not only will you hopefully learn something, but it will hopefully demonstrate you're especially serious in the areas of marriage that matter the most and I know if it were my daughter, that would be a weight off my mind.

May your marriage be happy and eternal
 
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Gnarwhal

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I asked permission from my ex-wife's parents to propose, they gladly granted it. It's not that I felt the permission itself was necessary, but I think it's good manners to consult parents ahead of time and express how you feel about their daughter and what your intentions are.

Like @Patrick Bateman mentioned though, if she has a terrible relationship with her parents or no relationship at all, then it's probably not a big deal. Sometimes a girlfriend/fiancé will be upset that you involved her parents if they're not on good terms with each other.

Is she close with her parents? Are her parents pretty traditional people? If both answers are 'yes' then I would ask their permission. If no, then play it how ever you want. If you're not sure, maybe find out from your girlfriend a bit more about her parents so you can read the situation better.
 
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blackribbon

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I wouldn't tell general family members unless you need their help in the proposal. If you feel like you should ask for a blessing/permission of the parents, then that is the one exception. Again, that depends on her relationship with her parents...

After that, I think she should be the first to know .... especially, if you don't want someone else informing her of your intention beforehand

And Congrats...and good luck to both of you!
 
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