Promise Ring thread

[California Dreamin']

This is going to be a thread all about... promise rings!

-When did you get yours, or when did you give one.
-Have a pic of it, post it! I hope to post mine sometime.
-Right hand, or left hand. What finger.
Mine is right hand, ring finger.
-Have wedding plans been discussed yet, or is it far in the future.

 

[PurpleBunny]

I sort of have one. My fiance got me an emerald birthstone ring for my birthday the first year we were dating, about 5 months before we got engaged. Since we'd already talked about marriage and getting engaged, he said it could be a promise ring as well as a birthday ring. It has a kinda swirly gold band, and then there is one diamond chip (microscopic LOL) on each side of the emerald, where the band attaches to the setting.

I wear it on my right ring finger and have since he gave it to me. Sometimes I alternate it with a birthstone ring my parents gave me when I turned 16.

We're getting married in 3 1/2 months after a 21 month engagement (set the date right away and started researching immigration options, figured out our plan, and then started booking vendors for the wedding once we determined that we could fill out all the paperwork and stuff by our chosen date).

 

[California Dreamin']

That is awesome. Emeralds are nice, I didn’t like them before and now I am starting to love them. I love those light blue topaz rings, I would like to get one or earrings. Or another thing I like is called pink sapphire I think. I want to name my daughter Sapphire actually.

 

[dusky_tresses]

Not to burst anyone's bubble here but...

I am not for promise rings and I personally don't see the point of having one. I've also talked to LOTS of other people who have had promise rings or known of their friends having promise rings and they have all said that those relationships failed and they eventually ended up breaking up. I think promise rings have a counterintuitive psychology to them- I guess what happens that it seems too much like an engagement and one or both people in the couple get scared off and eventually the relationship was done.
Personally I think that if you are going to get married, get married. You don't need a ring to show your committment or your promise to one another. Rings are just fanciful objects and in my own opinion, money from that could be spent on a religious wedding ceremony instead. But that is just my opinion.
My boyfriend had talked to me about getting me a promise ring and I told him that I don't want a ring, not even an ENGAGEMENT ring (he'd probably get that anyway) because all I want is his heart, committment and love.

But to the couples who have relationships which ARE successful and who WILL get married, good luck and bless you

 

[FaithfulServant]

I don't agree with the above poster about not having engagement rings - I am all for engagement rings. But promise rings??? What is it supposed to mean? I don't want to plan our marriage yet and I cant afford the engagement ring so heres this "other" ring? I don't quite understand it, can someone explain? I haven't heard of promise rings since like...middle school.

 

[loved]

I don't agree with the above poster about not having engagement rings - I am all for engagement rings. But promise rings??? What is it supposed to mean? I don't want to plan our marriage yet and I cant afford the engagement ring so heres this "other" ring? I don't quite understand it, can someone explain? I haven't heard of promise rings since like...middle school.

Yeah i don't get them either.


If I were to get a promise ring :

People would thing we were engaged.

I'd rather him save his money and buy me an engagement ring


I'd think "oh great, another few years until he'd ready to get married


It does seem a bit childish to me.

 

[lady_of_god]

I want a promise ring.... was suppose to get one... wondered if i still will

 

[Quantum_Man]

I gave my girlfriend a promise ring after a little over a year of dating. We had talked about marriage before and we knew we were getting married.

 

[Grishnak]

The bible takes ''promised'' or ''betrothed'' VERY seriously.
So serious in fact that if promised to another, a woman who had sex with some other man would have been stoned to death.


There is nothing wrong with a promise/engagement/betrothal ring as a symbol of that promise.

The problem today is that our word means nothing anymore.
If these people want to promise themselves to this person, then fulfill that promise, Im all for it.

Id bet God gets pretty ticked off at broken engagements where 2 people have promised the other to be thier spouse then renegs later.

Better to not promise at all.

Personally for me Id have gotten quite suspiscious if my honey had told me that she didnt want to be engaged/betrothed or to have a ring.
I can see how someone would take that as meaning ''I dont want to commit until Im sure''.
Which is fine, but at least say as much so the other person doesnt go planning their life around you

Not to burst anyone's bubble here but...

I am not for promise rings and I personally don't see the point of having one. I've also talked to LOTS of other people who have had promise rings or known of their friends having promise rings and they have all said that those relationships failed and they eventually ended up breaking up. I think promise rings have a counterintuitive psychology to them- I guess what happens that it seems too much like an engagement and one or both people in the couple get scared off and eventually the relationship was done.
Personally I think that if you are going to get married, get married. You don't need a ring to show your committment or your promise to one another. Rings are just fanciful objects and in my own opinion, money from that could be spent on a religious wedding ceremony instead. But that is just my opinion.
My boyfriend had talked to me about getting me a promise ring and I told him that I don't want a ring, not even an ENGAGEMENT ring (he'd probably get that anyway) because all I want is his heart, committment and love.

But to the couples who have relationships which ARE successful and who WILL get married, good luck and bless you

 

[California Dreamin']

I did not want to start a promise ring bashing thread.

 

[Grishnak]

she had a promise ring, engagement ring and has a wedding ring.

I think rings are great if for nothing else than to announce one is ''taken''.

 

[jesslynn327]

I think the idea of a promise ring is great. It shows commitment, love and trust...I wouldn't mind having one!!!!

 

[California Dreamin']

Thanks for the new positive posts!

 

[halifaxhoney]

I've never had a promise ring but I had a friend who got one and she is now engaged to her boyfriend.

 

[California Dreamin']

We have talked about getting married, June 24th, 2006 would be the earliest. I want the best wedding possible and we might postpone that date to save up money.

 

[FaithfulServant]

I am still totally confused on what the meaning of a promise ring is - or if it is Biblical?
Canadiancarebear - could you explain this please?

 

[California Dreamin']

He could not afford an engagement ring right now but wanted to make the same statement, so I got a promise ring.

 

[Pikachelsea]

Warning, rant-esque opinion ahead. Feel free to exercise your right to not read this post if you don't like different opinions

I don't really like the idea of a promise ring either. I figure that if you really want to show love, commitment, trust, and an actual promise, then just get them a nice engagement ring already (or demonstrate these things on a daily basis through immaterial means; any shmuck can buy a piece of jewelry, but it takes someone special to actually provide you with love and trust). A promise ring really isn't any kind of promise at all, since it's not an engagement ring. If you're not engaged, then where's the "promise"? A promise ring seems like an engagement ring with an "out".

I know you didn't want "promise ring-bashing" but people will not always agree with your opinion. I'm not saying they're wrong and no one should have them, and if it makes you happy then hooray, but personally I think they're pointless and almost seem intended to mislead other people into thinking you're engaged. And like others, I would rather have a really nice engagement ring than a decent promise ring and a decent engagement ring, if finances are that big of an issue. Just my two cents.

Oh, and FaithfulServant, I don't think that promise rings, engagement rings, or any kind of rings are discussed in the Bible (either in an approving or disapproving manner). It's a tradition basically invented by the diamond cartel and encouraged by people who think that love is measured in carats. I don't think anything is wrong with rings as a sentimental token of love, but I have to get suspicious when people make a big fuss about the 20 gaudy pieces of jewelry that their significant other gave to them.

 

[Grishnak]

He could not afford an engagement ring right now but wanted to make the same statement, so I got a promise ring.

Now this is sweet.

Because of a disorder I have, I have been on disability for a few years now.
She knows this and told me shed take a cracker jack ring if needed.

She was long distance, so she went and got herself a promise ring at first just to keep on her finger for us.
Then I bought her a small ring from me and she wore that for a while.

Her showing me that she didnt even care about the ring or the cost tho made me want to try even harder to get her a nice ring that we could afford.

It broke me for a few months, but we ended up with a plain little platinum band off Ebay and then a nice ring from a local jeweler who made us a deal because if my situation.

I agree that rings arent necessary and most likely are just a method of making money.

but the great thing about customs is that everyone in a society would most likely know about them.

When I was single, a ring on a certain finger was a ''STOP" sign for me.
If I saw a woman I thought was attractive wearing an engagment ring or wedding ring, I treated her like a married woman and not someone I could approach for anything beyond just a friend.

Any ring of any cost is nice to have there just to say ''Im taken"

 

[Grishnak]

I am still totally confused on what the meaning of a promise ring is - or if it is Biblical?
Canadiancarebear - could you explain this please?

Id say there are a lot of things that arent exactly ''biblical'' these days.
Including casually backing out of a ''betrothal'' with someone.

The whole wedding ring thing is pretty outside the realm of scripture.
Its a customary thing these days in the US anyway.

I think care should be taken with the promise ring, for sure.
God doesnt take oaths/vows/promises/covenants lightly and neither should a person promising their faithfulness to someone.

As long as when a promise is made it is upheld then I dont think theres any issue at all with the promise ring being scriptural or nonscriptural.