~problems With Adoption~

[givenright]

Adoption can be a great thing but, what happends when the child grows up and wants to find their birth parents, Many times as adoptees we do not actively search because we are scared that it will hurt our adoptive parents, after all they did raise us, but, what about the young teen ager or the adult that had no money to raise a baby and misses it, and wishes they had not made that desicion, What about that? And what about not know about what the birth parents were like such as illiness, a.d.h.d., drugs and alcohol abuse, and then you have a baby that does not relate to things because of these minor details the birth parent or agancy left out.

Jennifer
a adoptee and birth mother
http://givenright.tripod.com

Please tell me what you think even if your not affected by adoption

 

[Blake]

I think the adopted child has the right to know their biological family as well, if he has the desire to. His relationship should not be cut off, given that there are not any harmful factors involved. Emotionally the adoptee might have difficulties by the way of not having closure over the subject, if he doesn't know who his biological parents are. I don't think that if the adoptee would love his real family (the one who raised him) any less because of this. If anything I think it would make him realize the love that his parents have for him, for accepting him and loving him as the parents own.


I have thought about adoption when I am older and out of my father's house. =) .. I'd like to hear your thoughts givenright since you were adopted and that I am foriegn of the experience.

 

[givenright]

Being that I am adopted I know that it was a hard decision for my birth mother, yet, It was very hard on me being adopted, wondering who I came from, and who I will be, Now I know that I am me, my biological mother and father helped make me with the God up above, yet, my adoptive parents guided me and gave me strength, that make me who I am today. I am also a birth mother and It was the hardest thing to go through yet, I had love and I wanted to give her life. It is so hard to explain and I really ca not explain it, I help adoptees and birth parents reunite now, I feel God gave me adoption for a reason. I would adopt...yes.. I would, I could feel what they might feel, I am not against adoption, yet, I feel somehow that it might be done with out secrets. A child is a gift from the lord yet, it is their givenright to know when the time comes where they came from.

Jennifer
http://givenright.tripod.com

 

[JillLars]

Jennifer, thank you for sharing your experience with us. My cousin is adopted. My aunt, who is widowed, and also unable to bear children due to the aftereffects of cancer treatment, has always wanted to have a child. The daughter of a co-worker and friend of her's became pregnant at the age of 15, and had decided to give it up for adoption. So, they gave the baby up to my aunt. They are going to be open about it, and the birth mother is welcome to keep in touch, although I don't think she has. Some birth mothers would rather put things behind them, so I think it is up to both parties to decide what to do. I love my cousin Claire, she is a such a sweetie and our family is so blessed to have her as a part of it!

 

[Etharia]

My aunt was adopted. I'm pretty sure she tried to find her real parents before, but technology was no where near as good as it is now and I don't know if she has tried lately.
I think that a child has a right to know who their birth parents are. I plan to adopt and would not be hurt if my children want to know. All children, and people for that matter, are curious about their background. it's normal.