DISCLAIMER: I am NOT blaming God for any of this; this is here for clarification and is preemptive.
Long story short. I went thru emotional and verbal abuse as a kid in school from the time I was 12 until I was about 17; didn't have anything to combat the lies, as didn't become saved till I was 17. As a result, damage done was twice as bad.
Had a very difficult time academically as well, and very few friends; have received a ton of stigma, judgement and rejection
As if all of this wasn't enough, then I find out I have aspergers and I wasn't diagonosed until I was in my mid 20's (at 23 I found out I had it). I was devestated when I received the diagnosis, and it took me 3 years just to accept the fact I had it. It wasn't well known when I was a kid, and there wasn't really any treatment for it like there is now; there wasn't any way to officially diagnose it like there is now.
Different has been normalcy to me for as long as I can remember; I don't do it just to instigate stuff etc. Whenever I try to do things the way people normally do them, it never works for me.
I know God allowed all of this to happen for a reason, as much as I hate having this, it's built my character and it's a part of who I am. I am not saying that asperger's defines me, it's just a part of me; to say it's not would be a lie.
However with all the stuff I've been thru in addition to aspergers, I'm resentful towards God and having a very difficult time trusting Him with it. I don't know what to do; I don't even know how to pray about this, where to begin.
Long story short. I went thru emotional and verbal abuse as a kid in school from the time I was 12 until I was about 17; didn't have anything to combat the lies, as didn't become saved till I was 17. As a result, damage done was twice as bad.
Had a very difficult time academically as well, and very few friends; have received a ton of stigma, judgement and rejection
As if all of this wasn't enough, then I find out I have aspergers and I wasn't diagonosed until I was in my mid 20's (at 23 I found out I had it). I was devestated when I received the diagnosis, and it took me 3 years just to accept the fact I had it. It wasn't well known when I was a kid, and there wasn't really any treatment for it like there is now; there wasn't any way to officially diagnose it like there is now.
Different has been normalcy to me for as long as I can remember; I don't do it just to instigate stuff etc. Whenever I try to do things the way people normally do them, it never works for me.
I know God allowed all of this to happen for a reason, as much as I hate having this, it's built my character and it's a part of who I am. I am not saying that asperger's defines me, it's just a part of me; to say it's not would be a lie.
However with all the stuff I've been thru in addition to aspergers, I'm resentful towards God and having a very difficult time trusting Him with it. I don't know what to do; I don't even know how to pray about this, where to begin.
