problems talking with women

[joeman1]

Maybe its just me but does anyone else find it hard to speak with a member of the opposite sex? maybe its just because i am shy but i really have a rough time with this.

 

[Chris from TN]

Why? the worst that can happen is for her to run away screaming......


Ok, just kidding. If you have something you want to say to a girl, just say it. I don't recommend starting with 'will you marry me' but short of that, just walk up and start talking like she was a guy. It'll get easier after the first time.

 

[Glaz]

I've always been a bit shy, but talking to women does get easier the more you try.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Me! I'm terribly shy when it comes to the opposite sex. While some people look at that in the negative light, I think it's just who you are. Some people are. Some aren't.

Unfortunately, I think shyness comes off as another not-so-nice trait.

 

[joeman1]

Me! I'm terribly shy when it comes to the opposite sex. While some people look at that in the negative light, I think it's just who you are. Some people are. Some aren't.

Unfortunately, I think shyness comes off as another not-so-nice trait.

I know what you mean. some of my friends thought that i didn't want to talk with them when we first me it wasn't that at all. i was just intimidated at making new friends

 

[Blank123]

I can kinda go back and forth. it's strange. some guys I'm really shy around, but others I feel really comfortable with and have no prob talking to them.

 

[Bluelighted]

I am shy only with the ones that I am attracted to.

 

[Wide-eyedWithWonder]

Ain't that true, bluelighted?

 

[Out of the Flames]

I've always been pretty extroverted and I've spent the last 5 years working in a field where I talk to a primarily male client base all day long. For me, it's always been easier to make friends with the opposite sex, so talking to them has never been a problem.

The easiest thing to do is open with, "Hey! How are you doing today?" and close with something like, "It was nice talking to you." It's not typically very hard to come up with things to talk about in between as long as you're genuinely interested in the person.

Remaining approachable makes people more likely to talk to you. If you're shy and you tuck yourself away, people will avoid you like the plague. If you smile, and greet people, approach those other "shy" people, and are friendly in general, people are much more likely to open up to you.

 

[KeilCoppes]

Talking to other people is a lot like a child walking - you do it, and if you flop, you get up and try again, knowing that your world will continue. If God cares for all things in your life, don't you think He can make this work for you? And if things don't work, don't you still believe He can make things work somewhere else?

The greatest comfort about God's caring in life:

- If God wills it, nothing you do can mess it up.
- If He doesn't, nothing you can do will make it work.

So don't worry about it, do your best, trust Him, and see what happens. As a friend of mine often says "Step up to the plate!". We may be batting, but it's God's ball game. Relax and swing the bat!

-------
"Judge me by my size do you? And well you should not, for my ally is the Force" - Yoda.
VS - "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Our God is in heaven, He does whatever He wills. "

How much more should we trust in the God of all the universe who cares for us than the impersonal Force?​

 

[Stanfi]

Maybe its just me but does anyone else find it hard to speak with a member of the opposite sex? maybe its just because i am shy but i really have a rough time with this.

When the last realtionship of sorts feel apart. As in I found out by what I will always think was God's intervetion that the girl was dating someone else. The only reason I could get out of her why she didn't give me more of a chance was the she felt I was to quiet. Even thought I told here I was quiet! Go figure.

 

[Wolc]

I don't feel that it's hard to talk with a member of the opposite sex even though I tend to be the quiet type. But I guess it changes from person to person...
Having lots of sisters around you might help building those social skills...

 

[songz777]

Yeah i find it hard,,afraid of being rejected i suppose, shy and feel award, but am a bit better now after all these years )

 

[HoosierCanuck]

Yes. I am very misunderstood. If I am friendly then guys tend to think I might 'like' them and they freak out. Usually if I AM friendly and wanting to talk it's because they are already talking about something I find interesting like sports. That's usually my ONLY motive for wanting to talk. I find it easier to talk to men that I know are totally off limits because they can pick up on the fact that I KNOW they are off limits. I find it easier to talk to 'celebrities' (athletes, musicians,etc..) than I do 'normal' people. Weird!

 

[bkg]

I was out with my sister and her room mate a few months ago for happy hour. My sisters Boyfriend was running late (neuro surgeon, go figger..) anyway, I called him and left a dumb message about missing him, thinking he's a great guy, yada yada... typical sarcastic comments. My sisters room mate looked at me and said, in a very straight face, "You need to say that stuff to women"...

Now, she's a very beautiful woman, and probably the sweetest person I've ever met in my entire life... So I responded in a very honest, forthright tone "Uh... no... I can't"..

I'm shy when it comes to expressing my feelings or interest. Unless I've become very comfortable around that person as a friend. Then it's a risk, but less of one. And the irony behind all of this, is the person I'm most unable to talk to is the person I want to talk to the most...

 

[Stanfi]

I'm shy when it comes to expressing my feelings or interest. Unless I've become very comfortable around that person as a friend. Then it's a risk, but less of one. And the irony behind all of this, is the person I'm most unable to talk to is the person I want to talk to the most...

I can relate....

 

[joeman1]

I can relate....

After everything that has happened to me I know what that feels like too now . You know its taken me about a year or 2 before that i could actually let go of my feelings and i still haven't let go thouroghly

 

[bkg]

You know its taken me about a year or 2 before that i could actually let go of my feelings and i still haven't let go thouroghly

Truth be told, I understand this completely. And I've realized that on some level, not "letting go" of those feelings is working for me on some level. They keep her around, they keep her fresh, they keep open the idea of a future...

And they kill me all at the same time.

But what I've learned from this is that we MUST share those feelings, thoughts, dreams, etc when we have the opportunity. If we wait too long, the door closes and we're left with feelings we can never express. What's more important, having feelings and not sharing them for fear of rejection? Or having feelings and not sharing them?

Yeah... I can speak it well, just don't ask me to take my own advice...

 

[bkg]

Yes. I am very misunderstood. If I am friendly then guys tend to think I might 'like' them and they freak out. Usually if I AM friendly and wanting to talk it's because they are already talking about something I find interesting like sports. That's usually my ONLY motive for wanting to talk. I find it easier to talk to men that I know are totally off limits because they can pick up on the fact that I KNOW they are off limits. I find it easier to talk to 'celebrities' (athletes, musicians,etc..) than I do 'normal' people. Weird!

Men are dumb.

Really... we are.

Knowing that will make life much easier.

 

[hischildsindik]

Men are dumb.

Really... we are.

Knowing that will make life much easier.

Ahhhh! Is that what his problem is?

I will sometimes have a hard time being around men and talking to them. Not nearly as much as I used to. I think it depends on the guy as well, how comfortable he is with himself and talking with women. My problem is more in how do I interpret the intrest he gives me. When is the interest just friends and when is it a bit more?

That's kind of where I am at at the moment. A guy at church appears to have some interest in me, but at what level I am unsure of. I'm trying to leave it in God's hands and not get entangled. However, today I had a few friends at church ask me about him and I, since we were leaving church together to go have a soda. All I told them is what I know, I don't know other than friends, so just pray I have discernment and God makes life clear when it comes to him. If and or until I know more to God and of God are all I know to do. The best thing a person can do, even in an anxious "singles" state of mind.