Private School too Stringent/Public too unsupervised

[SelfProtect]

I'm a single mom, my son has been in private schools since 1st grade, my girl since kindergarten. They are going to be going into 6th and 8th grade. Both get all A's and B's. However, I'm noticing the older they get, the harder and more homework they get. My son is VERY responsible and I think that all that work might be crushin his spirit. I was a major slacker growing up and didn't go to college, I've always felt life was to be enjoyed.

I've been thinking about putting my son in public school in the 9th grade to help me financially, but lately I've been thinking of putting him in sooner (8th grade), because I feel like it would be easier for him but I hate the thought of him being in our public school system where there are 2000 students, that just can't be safe. I'm feeling very torn, of course shool is getting ready to be over for this year. Just wanted input on those of you that have been in similiar situations. I realize there are good public schools but their aren't many here in the Houston area. I was raised in public school here too and it was a major nightmare. I'm am very surprised I got through it alive (no exageration-of course my upbringing was different than my kids).

Feedback please...

 

[Zoomer]

I went to private school, we were college prep so of course it was difficult with a lot of homework. The first year of college was a like a refresher course for me. However, I watched many of the public school students struggled over things that I had learned in 11th grade. In general the older children get, the more and harder the homework should become.

 

[SelfProtect]

Thanks Zoomer,
I've heard that also about it being college prep. One of our seniors just got accepted to Harvard. I really appreciate your input.

 

[bostonlass]

If you can afford to keep them in private I would. When I had to make that decision I decided instead of sending my daughters to private school to move to a town with a better school district. I made a spreadsheet with SAT scores and MCAS scores (this is a mandatory test that kids in Massachusetts have to take in 4th, 8th and 10th grade I think). Anyway I sorted it first by SAT scores and then by MCAS and looked at the towns. After crossing out the towns that were out of my league money wise I found the town I live in now, which is #6 in the state. I pay a little more in real estate taxes but it's less than a private school.

That being said, they do get a lot of homework. Pressure is high everywhere I think. Maybe moving them to public will lesson the amount of homework but at what cost? If you want to save money you could research other towns in your area and look into relocating but I'd bet money that the amount of work will be similar. My girls are 8 and 9 and each have at least an hour a night of homework! I can't remember having any homework at that age!!!! Good luck in your decision!

 

[bliz]

Your children will receive only one elementry and high school education. Why would you want them to have anything but the best?

Being well prepared enables them to go wherever they want and to do whatever they wish - Harvard, the local community college, an auto mechanics program, private colleges, anything. Your kids will find any post high school work much, much easier than students from the public school and faculty will see that and reward them with with greater opportinities.

We struggled through the same choices and it was often a financial stretch, but that was one of the best things we could ever have done with our money! As my kids progress through college I have seen more and more the value of their private school education. Make no mistake, there are public school that do a wonderful job, but it doesn't sound as if the one your kids would attend is that great.

 

[gracefaith]

I don't know if this will help but my father sacrificed a lot to send me to private school my whole life. It was very challenging, but I found I was far better prepared when I went to college then most of my peers (both privately and publically educated.) One of the big differences was that I really learned to think and reason for myself rather than just memorize stuff and spit it back. This skill still serves me every day. In private school, the teachers expect a great deal from their students (implying that their students are capable of great things) and the other students are also high achievers. It helps to be in an environment that nutures excellence. Also, there was a lot less to distract me than I imagine I might have found in a public school.

When I have children, I hope to be able to provide them with the same wonderful gift that my father gave me.

 

[SelfProtect]

Thank you for all your encouraging words! I wish I had more time to reply, but you all have made a big impact, and I feel much more sure about keeping my kids there.

 

[SelfProtect]

I would like to bring up the "if you can afford it". I do not have a car payment now, I can't ever imagine having a car payment and continueing to afford their schooling. I drive a 1995 car with 70000 miles, I will have to continue to buy very old cars plus one day my kids will need cars too. We are stretched EXTREMELY thin since I am a single parent, we can't afford vacations, I have some credit card debt (which I hope to be out of in a year), no saving for retirement or college so with that said "Can I afford it?" Sometimes I think I can, God has provided this far. Is that faith or irresponsibility?

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

I would like to bring up the "if you can afford it". I do not have a car payment now, I can't ever imagine having a car payment and continueing to afford their schooling. I drive a 1995 car with 70000 miles, I will have to continue to buy very old cars plus one day my kids will need cars too. We are stretched EXTREMELY thin since I am a single parent, we can't afford vacations, I have some credit card debt (which I hope to be out of in a year), no saving for retirement or college so with that said "Can I afford it?" Sometimes I think I can, God has provided this far. Is that faith or irresponsibility?

I don't think there's anything irresponsible about faith . There are things that we need all the time that I think we won't have enough money for but I've always had faith that the Lord will provide and he always has . Pray about this schooling situation and if you feel that the Lord wants you to keep your kids in private school He will provide for it.

 

[CarrieAg93]

I think branding all public schools as bad and all private schools as good is a huge mistake. There are good and bad in both and the only way to ensure that your child gets the education they deserve is to be an invloved parent. My siblings and I all went through public schools in Houston and were never scared and did great in college and beyond. I have a masters in speech pathology, my brother is a CPA who passed his CPA exam on the first try and my sister is a minister. My husband went to private school and had an awful experience. He was treated poorly by students because he wasn't a "rich" kid. The kids whose parents had money to donate for this or that received better treatment from faculty and the administration looked the other way when the kids would go off campus, drink, and return to school obviously intoxicated. That resulted in the death of one student in a DUI accident. Not some place I would want my child to go. My children will attend public school, but I will be there to make sure they get what they deserve.

 

[EmSchmem]

I don't buy into any idea that there is a Christian responsibility to send our kids to private schools and give them the "Best." For oen I don't believe that we should be surrounding our children by people who are just like them. Secondly, if we as parents are doing our jobs, advocating for our children, teaching them to advocate for ourselves, and instilling the right ethics and values into our children, public school will be just fine. For some kids, they have many more opportunities, because public schools have so many things they HAVE to provide. It gives our children the opportunity to spread the good news to lost friends.
Granted there are plenty of school systems I wouldn't want to put my kids in but that doesn't mean that public school is automatically bad. Also some of the bigger school systems around here are the ones that are better. Parental invovlment is going to go a LOT further that the RIGHT school.

 

[bliz]

My third child is a junior at a Christian school that all three of my kids have attended. The students at this school are not a bunch of cookie cutter kids that all think, talk and believe the same things. They are all the children of at least one Christian parent, but that does not mean that they are all Christians. There is pleanty of ministry for students to do in a Christian school! Our kids come from poor families, rich famiies, families of every race, college educated partents and high school drop out parents. It is a very diverse student population.

And it is a financial sacrifice for many families to be able to afford to send their kids there. Some families move to less expensive housing in order to afford the school. Some move into town where they can live with only one car. Mom's take on part-time jobs. We all run into each other shopping at the second hand store and come formal time, we all brag about how cheaply we found a gown or a suit. A lot of clothing gets passed around and worn by many different kids in the school.

Are all private schoos good? Of course not. Are all public schools bad - the answer is the same. And we can all only choose from which schools are in our communities.
I have, however, spent the last 30 years of my life as a high school teacher, a college recruiter and college administrator. The quality of education in public schools in the US (generally speaking) is dropping badly. Kids are not being well taught and they are not learning how to study and how to work. They are not being exposed to great literature. They are not bieng pushed to tackle complex math. They do not take essay tests - just multiple choice!

The education our chldren will receive will make a difference to our children for their lifetimes. However you define "best" - send your kids to the "best" that you possibly can! YOu can borrow money for college, you can make friends and participate in activities outside of school, but you cannot borrow an education or pick one up in your spare time.

 

[Iridescent]

My first instinct is to say that if it's at all possible, keep your child in private school. But to be fair, it depends on what the public schools are like in your area. If you can, talk to parents who have their children in the school that you're thinking of sending your child to and find out if it is a good school. And then sit and talk with your child and see what they think. Best of luck to you.

 

[wendythepooh]

We are supposed to be light in the darkness. I don't believe either choice is a wrong one. If someone can afford to send their child to private Christian school, then that's awesome, but on the other hand, I believe our public schools need Christians to help others know Christ and what He did for us! If we all spend time with no one other than people who are just like us, how will we ever be able to reach others with the gospel?

 

[BanburyPrincipal]

A lot depends on what kind of private school you choose. In most places, besides the traditional college-prep kind of school, there are alternative programmes. And alternative programmes absolutely do not mean an inferior education. In fact, alternatives such as Montesorri, Waldorf or democratic education help children to become more autonomous -- an important characteristic if they are to succeed in advanced education. No-one ever became an advanced researcher through studying for SAT scores. And our civilization *needs* people who can "think outside the box" -- find the answers to questions that haven't even made it into the curriculum yet.

But at the same time that alternative education is developing the citizenship skills our children will need to build the future, it's also respecting their personhood, and allowing them to enjoy the pursuit of happiness -- a right that school children often lose to authoritarian systems.

I've seen the benefits of alternative education in literally hundreds of children. I'd heartily encourage you to investigate those private school choices, which might address your concern over the workload, and who knows, perhaps over the cost as well.

 

[Svt4Him]

I worked in a private school, but now my son goes to traditional school, and I would never put them in private or public again. Oh, it's a traditional 'public' school.

http://www.sd34.bc.ca/article.asp?a=143&c=139