preventing our children from being taken

[javan]

how does one do this? my friend was wrongfully taken from her home when she was a child from social services because a neighbor falsely accused her mother's parenting skills to social services and social services did not investigate properly.
to this day she is affected by this.
then recently i met a friend who's daughter has been "taken from him" for several years now based on false accusation and "money" because he is divorced and his ex's parents have a lot of money and paid off the court. he is heartbroken by this as he should be.
also, has anyone heard anything about an unwed male/female not being allowed to have their child living with them based on the fact that they are not married and will have their dates around the child when they are dating different people until they get married? i haven't but somebody told me that could happen. i can't see how that is legal since i know so many single fathers and mothers who get to have their child live with them while they are dating people. i mean, what are you supossed to do? just not get married 'cause you couldn't date, 'cause you want to keep your child? that doesn't make any sense at all! i'm worried especially since i have had a lot of horrible false accusations jabbed at me over my 27 years of living because people are just wacked sometimes.

 

[Wildwood]

Dear Javan,

I'm sorry you've been falsely accused. You must feel very hurt and betrayed. Please choose to forgive the people who have falsely accused you. God will bless you and give you peace.

It's a sad tragedy and true that social workers and judges make bad decisions trying to do what they believe is best for the children.

The stories you described illustrate why a marriage and family based on God's principles is so important to our happiness.

 

[javan]

thanks for responding. last night i thought he was going to cry because the subject came up. it is an ongoing thing and i look forward to when God lets her come home to her daddy. please pray for her because she has been abused by my friend's ex in-laws!!

 

[Catzilla]

Prayers for you Javan.

 

[RThor]

Javen, In detail i have many insights to that which you desribe, I am currenty going thru a depenance action. The state has so much power. There concern of course is the best intrest of the child. my case I am the father. I've been told I should start dating, so I can provide a mom for my child. The mother has been told just the opposite. Something to do with the fact she is a monster when it comes to commitment. Her and my story are so diffrent with the execption of the time we shared and prodused a child. All of last 3 yrs. has been hell. The most important thing is to do what is right by the child. One thing to know is God loves his children and events now that are overwhelming may be His way of bring about the best of us

 

[Anti Existance]

Im doubting the 'false' accusation , one does not 'report' a neighbour for no reason, and im seeing two cases here, are you very very sure there was no 'valid' reason for this neighbour to accuse the parent and your friend? I mean i can see why you agree with your friends but don't you agree too fast? I think you should have been a little bit more sceptical because you never know what happends behind close curtains. About that legal thing, your as much a father as you are a mother ,married or not married if you have a child, marriage is a legal thing between man and woman, what i mean to say your not married to your child, so that bond should not reflect on your spouse. If a thing like that would exist it would be wrong i don't believe it does tho.

 

[skipper]

I have seen it from both sides of the fence being a foster parent I have had children whose parents were falsely accussed, and parents that swear they have been falsely accused but were truely guilty. If your friend is not guilty they will work with the social services, they cannot keep the children for no reason. Most agencies want to preserve the family and put services in place before they ever have to take the children out of the home. I hope all works out in this situation.

 

[javan]

thanks guys

 

[mare61]

My heart just breaks for these children. My prayer is that God will reveal the truth to the people in control of these precious lives. And that God will heal the damage done to them. Blessings, Mare

 

[katautumn]

The only situation I can think of in which a child may be taken from a parent who is dating is in the case where the parents are still legally married. But that is a loosely based scenario because my husband's ex left him for a man she met on the internet and moved in with him, leaving her two daughters (from previous relationships) with my husband and taking their son with her. The lawyer my husband spoke with said he really didn't have a leg to stand on when trying to sue for sole custody of their son. She didn't have a job, she came from a pretty messed up family, she had stolen money, she abandoned her two other children and was promiscuous. The courts still felt it was in the best interest of the child for the ex to be the custodial parent and they would have joint custody.

Of course, there could also be underlying issues. Is the person the parent is dating a child molestor or abusive? I mean, I have found that Child Protective Services can be pretty useless.

When my aunt was living in total squalor we called DEFACS and asked them to investigate. My parents were going to foster her two daughters. DEFACS told my parents they were wasting their time. And this was a pretty bad situation. They had dirty dishes piled up in their only bathtub. My aunt had her seventeen year old boyfriend living in the home. Their were cockroaches literally covering every surface in that house. The girls had not been to school in months because their mother would not take them to the doctor to be treated for Scabies. We would later find out that the thirteen year old was trading sex for food with men living in their trailer park. It was a bad situation and DEFACS did nothing. In the meantime, they were removing forty some-odd kids from their homes right before Christmas because their parents enrolled them in a school that implemented corporal punishment...

 

[UnitynLove]

Prayers for you Javon. Amen.

 

[SpiritPsalmist]

I'm a fulltime caregiver in a child placement center. The children that come to us are here because of neglect or abuse. We have children who were brought in during the middle of the night 'cause drug raids were done on the house they were living in. Or, police were called out for spousel abuse or because a child told someone that mom or dad or mom or dads friend abused them. We have a little 4 yr old whose mother left her and her older sister alone for the week while she went off to the Bahama's. Children have been found lying in their own feces with a hole in the floor of the home is the bathroom and there are rats and cockroaches running all over. The only life that one 10 yr old girl knows is one of drugs and wearing skin tight dresses so she can look pretty for the men that visit.

The parents in these situations do not loose custady unless they refuse to cooperate with court system. We had one mom who had unsupervised weekend visits with her 3 sons. However, one of those sons told us that on those weekends mom would leave them with another family member who was the abuser that mom had been told they could not be around. Of course mom lost her unsupervised visits. Her supervised visits are rare and she makes all kinds of promises to the kids which she never keeps.

We have also had parents who complied and their children were returned to them. With one brother and sister it was not abuse on the parents part but a poor choice that landed the mother in jail and there was no other family member that was safe for the children to stay with (the girl told someone that Grandpa touched her). Mom is now out of jail and as soon as she finds suitable housing where the children are safe her children will be returned. I had one of my children returned to the single mother just before Christmas. I have another who is about to be adopted and another who is now spending unsupervised visits with his mother and will soon be able to go home.

Anyway, I guess there is occasion that a child is removed unfairly but in the cases that I see it is for the safety of the children. The singleness of a parent is not the issue.

 

[gloryseven]

Maybe these dilemnas with families and government and people with false accusations is just a sign of the times. We are truly living in a wicked and perverse generation, and I think there are a whole lot of people, causing a whole lot of problems, for whatever reason they want...

I believe that is a very great reason to increase our faith by reading the Word and for seeking shelter under the wings of the Almighty.

Thirty years from now, I think we will be in Paradise and not even remembering even one detail of the horrors of this fallen planet..

 

[cookiebaker]

Im doubting the 'false' accusation , one does not 'report' a neighbour for no reason, and im seeing two cases here, are you very very sure there was no 'valid' reason for this neighbour to accuse the parent and your friend? I mean i can see why you agree with your friends but don't you agree too fast? I think you should have been a little bit more sceptical because you never know what happends behind close curtains. About that legal thing, your as much a father as you are a mother ,married or not married if you have a child, marriage is a legal thing between man and woman, what i mean to say your not married to your child, so that bond should not reflect on your spouse. If a thing like that would exist it would be wrong i don't believe it does tho.

it's just a fact that some peole are falsely reported. This happened in our community just about 2 years ago. It was in the paper and had a tragic ending. what happened was a mom was divorced and her and her exhusband had 2 kids together. The ex was possesive of her, and tried to control her. WHen she started dating soemone, he flew off the handle and made a false report to dcs out of revenge....
the exboyfriend did this on one more occasion...it was upsetting the whole family, and finally teh exhusband shot at the boyfriend during time he dropped of fthe kids...

I heared somewhere that most false reports against poeple are filed by vindictive relatives, or sometimes by neighbors who for wahtever reason think they know better than the parents,,,such as neighbors tha tdisagree with homeschooling, so they report their neighbor family for negligence.
there are now reporting laws where the accused has the right to know who said it, and what accusation was levied against them. They found that allowing people to be accused on vague anonymous reports was abused by those who are trying to get revenge...