Pretty Confused

[rfprewitt]

About a month ago, I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. But then after that, I have just had this really horrible time. Now not even a month later, I'm ready to give up on everything. My relationship with God is in shambles. I know about spiritual warfare. I don't have a pretty past. How could I be so weak to fall away so quickly? More importantly...how do I get that back?

 

[DeleseRose]

There's a scripture that says Draw near to GOD, resist the devil and he will flee from you. The devil wants you even more now that he has lost ou , he will try all things to make you turn back. but you know why you gave your life over to him and that reason you must hold on to.
You think you have failed GOD but you haven't, he's already made provisions for your short commings, JESUS.

 

[DeleseRose]

the devil is testing how much you really want CHRIST, don't give up now. He knows he's aleady defeated, he'just bruising your heal. Straighten up, Keep your head up-It's just a test. Study and you will pass.

 

[NLRnlr]

About a month ago, I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. But then after that, I have just had this really horrible time. Now not even a month later, I'm ready to give up on everything. My relationship with God is in shambles. I know about spiritual warfare. I don't have a pretty past. How could I be so weak to fall away so quickly? More importantly...how do I get that back?

Something very similar happened to me a few years ago. Your not weak and you have to remember that. God loves you no matter what and you have to keep trusting Him.Read you Bible (even if you find it hard or boring) God will bless you so much. Pray to Him,tell Him how your feeling.Don't be afraid of Him,He is a gentle God. The Devil is trying to push you away from God so you have to stay strong and keep going. Maybe try talking to someone you trust and getting them to pray with you.I always find having someone to talk to helps a lot.

 

[mourningdove~]

About a month ago, I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. But then after that, I have just had this really horrible time. Now not even a month later, I'm ready to give up on everything. My relationship with God is in shambles. I know about spiritual warfare. I don't have a pretty past. How could I be so weak to fall away so quickly? More importantly...how do I get that back?

Dear rfprewitt,
Hang in there, and "hang" close to God:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you." (James 4:7-8)

I went thru a very similar time after having received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. It was a bizarre and sometimes frightening time for me, until I began to understand what was going on - that I was in an intense spiritual battle. It didn't last "forever" (though it felt like it at the time!) and the Lord was faithful and loving to bring me through it. I might add that it also proved to be a time of much new spiritual growth.

Believe what you have received. What happened to you with the Holy Spirit was, and is, real - and you are not alone. God is right there with you in this battle. Yes, it is a battle. Satan is very upset about what has happened in your life. And he's kicking up his heels, hoping to convince you that what happened to you when you received the Baptism was not real. That it was all emotional. Do not believe him. He is a liar. Believe what you have received.

God bless and keep you.

 

[Dondi]

I had been running from the Lord for a while until my early 20s, when I came back to the Lord. In repentence, I felt His forgiveness and acceptance in me in a most powerful way. And I started to grow in faith, reading the Bible, going to church, and fellowshipping with other Christians.

Shortly after, however, I had the most disturbing dream. I was laying on my back in bed and this hand seemed to come up from underneath the bed, through the mattress and through my back and take literal hold of my heart. I felt like I was being pulled down to the pits of Hell and it was dark all around me. So I said to the thing. "I rebuke you!", but I still felt like I was being pulled down deeper. then I repeated louder, "I REBUKE YOU!", but it still held on and I was really getting panicky and scared. Then I screamed at the thing, "THE LORD REBUKE YOU!" And the thing let go. I woke up in such a fright that i didn't sleep much the rest of the night. But I remember the passage in Jude1:9:

"Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, 'The Lord rebuke thee.'"

rfprewitt,

God may be testing you to see that you remain faithfull, as He tests all of us. I felt I was being tested and I relize the battle is the Lord's and we must simply abide in Him.

You may be having some oppression from the enemy in your spiritual life. You need to hold on to God and cling to Him. Keep reading your Bible, praying, fellowshipping, and doing the will of God. There will be a time when you breakthrough to God. Hide that Word in you heart and ask God for His Holy Spirit to empower you. Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul. Serve Him diligently, sharing the love He's giving you to others.

Are you able to serve Him?

Love & Peace

Dondi

 

[rfprewitt]

Honestly, I find it very difficult to go to church. I feel ashamed, unworthy, and incredibly out of place. I appreciate all of your encouragement. I have disturbing dreams, much like the one you mentioned, but then I have movies play through my head of horrible things happening like that during the day time as well. It never ends. .I read the Bible, I pray....I just don't know what to do anymore.

 

[dentonz]

Honestly, I find it very difficult to go to church. I feel ashamed, unworthy, and incredibly out of place. I appreciate all of your encouragement. I have disturbing dreams, much like the one you mentioned, but then I have movies play through my head of horrible things happening like that during the day time as well. It never ends. .I read the Bible, I pray....I just don't know what to do anymore.

Everything that has a name in Heaven and earth is subject to the name of Jesus. You said you've been baptized in the Holy Ghost. The very same power that raised Jesus from the dead, that conquered death, hell and the grave lives within you. Jesus died so that you can become the righteousness of God, so by the blood of Jesus you are worthy. Praise Him in the midst of your storm and he will draw near to you. When he draws near demons will flee. You are a child of the King of kings and in accordance with the word of God, by the blood of Jesus and the power of the Holy Ghost, satan has no power over you in Jesus' name. There is power, power, power in the name of Jesus.

 

[Dondi]

The Bible says, "Resist the Devil, and he will flee." The way we resist the Devil is to cling to God. You say you don't know what to do anymore, that is the ONLY thing you can do, cling to God. Satan walks among us like a roarong lion, seeking whom we may devour. You need to get that whole armor of God on (Ephesians 6) and abide in Jesus. Yes, it seems like a struggle, but the Bright and Morning Star (Rev. 22:16) will break into your heart and set you free. You just need to be patient with God, don't give up on God. He may not answer right away, but He will answer on time. I've seen things happen in my life that it seems like God waited until the last minute, but He came through for me. God is faithful. Wait for Him.

 

[KleinerApfel]

Hi Sister.

Honestly, I find it very difficult to go to church. I feel ashamed, unworthy, and incredibly out of place.

You need to teach yourself to ignore those lying voices, rebuke them in the name of Jesus.

It takes time, and it's hard at first, but you can do it.
Do you have someone you can call on the phone to do it with you when it's really bad?
I have sometimes not felt able to do it alone, but once a friend gave me the words and made me say them, it was astonishing how quickly it lifted!

When you hear those lies, speak out the truth of God's word instead:

Lie 1/ "I am ashamed"

Truth - "Jesus took my shame to the cross, so now I am clothed with the righteous of Christ." (Philippians 3:9)

Lie 2/ "I am unworthy"

Truth - "I am precious and honoured in God's sight." (Isa. 43:4)

Lie 3/ "I am out of place"

Truth - "I am called and chosen of God, and He does not reject me." (Isa. 41:9)

I appreciate all of your encouragement.

I am so glad it helps to be among us, stick around! I know how much it has changed my own life being here.

I have disturbing dreams, much like the one you mentioned, but then I have movies play through my head of horrible things happening like that during the day time as well. It never ends.

It will end, learn to take authority over these thoughts, and get help at church and here.

I read the Bible, I pray....I just don't know what to do anymore.

Keep filling your mind with those good things, read, pray, avoid TV or reading that works against godly thoughts, renew your mind, and the “anti” thoughts will gradually be squeezed out as you replace them with positive truth.

This scripture is for you today:

Isaiah 41

9 I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.

10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

11 All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.

12 Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.

13 For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

God bless you, love Sue

 

[rfprewitt]

So I just wait and pray and everything will be okay?

 

[Dondi]

So I just wait and pray and everything will be okay?

Well, just don't sit around praying and waiting, though byou definitely should be praying. Go and do something. Take some action. Go serve the Lord in some way. get involed with activities in the church. This way you aren't sitting around and letting those "movies" play around in your head. Don't give the devil the opportunity to bother you. Take action on you faith.

Love & Peace

 

[rfprewitt]

Okay. I can do that.

 

[mourningdove~]

Take action on you faith.

rfprewitt: There is tremendous power in praise.

Do you like music? Do you have some powerful praise music that you can play in your room or home or car ... or even ALL those places?

(Powerful praise music to me is music that is full of Scripture, The Name of Jesus ... you know, the kind of music that turns your heart towards God in a spirit of true worship.)

I know what it's like to be under those horrible, condemning attacks of the devil. These were times in my past when I felt so bound and paralyzed by the lies of the enemy that I could not pray, go to church, do much of anything, but cling to God and hope to survive.

BUT, by the Grace of God, I was able to play praise music - and just let it seep thru my home, and my mind, and my spirit, and my entire being.

And God was praised, despite everything else that was going on with me. (<-- I think this probably made the enemy pretty mad! I don't suppose he likes praise music very much?)

And what I also found, rtprewitt, was that God gently used this music to help release my spirit from the lies the enemy was spewing into my mind.

I suspect I'm older than you, but one artist who has given us some powerful praise music is "Carman". There are many other wonderful praise musicians out there today.

Hang in there, you are not in this battle alone. God is with you.

 

[KleinerApfel]

There is tremendous power in praise.

I forgot that! Yes indeed!

 

[mourningdove~]

...but one artist who has given us some powerful praise music is "Carman".

rtprewitt: While speaking of Carman, here is one of the songs he sings. It's not a praise song, but it has ministered to my soul many times. I pray these words will minister to you today.

"Fear Not"

In myself, I failed the Lord.
Then was afraid to try once more.
That fire in my soul had fled.
That's when Jesus came and said:

"My Spirit gives the strength you need
to raise you up and to succeed.
And for vision in the night
to you I'll give these words of light …"

Chorus:
"Fear not, My Child, I'm with you always.
I feel every pain and every tear I see.
Fear not, My Child, I'm with you always.
I know how to care for what belongs to me."

He said, "My Child, don't look behind.
Discouragement is all you'll find.
Don't watch the waves that roll the sea.
But just focus your eyes on Me."

"And I will make you strong and then
you shall encourage other men.
And if you fall and should get hurt,
remember these eternal words …"

Chorus:
"Fear not, My Child, I'm with you always.
I feel every pain and every tear I see.
Fear not, My Child, I'm with you always.
I know how to care for what belongs to me."

"I know how to care for what belongs to me."

 

[mourningdove~]

rtprewitt: While speaking of Carman, here is one of the songs he sings. It's not a praise song, but it has ministered to my soul many times. I pray these words will minister to you today ...

"rfprewitt:"
(oops!)

 

[rfprewitt]

I have praise and worship, yeah. I have a guitar I play too...

 

[momofonebaybe]

Honestly, I find it very difficult to go to church. I feel ashamed, unworthy, and incredibly out of place. I appreciate all of your encouragement. I have disturbing dreams, much like the one you mentioned, but then I have movies play through my head of horrible things happening like that during the day time as well. It never ends. .I read the Bible, I pray....I just don't know what to do anymore.

I understand exactly what you are talking about!!!!!!! I really do. I felt the exact same way, but now i am involved full heartedly to teaching my 3 year olds and 5 year olds. I have an ugly past too, really ugly, when i first gave my heart to the lord and surrendered the devil tested me big time!!! Memories that i wanted to forget and tried hiding played over and over again, would pop up in the middle of the day and haunt me and i prayed and i prayed hard to take away all of those horrible memories but in the course of two - three months finally i could let go and the lord worked hard to help stop those memories from stalking me.

I to also had a big problem with getting to church and not wanting to go, but once i had a reason to go,(the kids) it got alot easier. and soon after like now i love going i have to go i cant wait till wens and sundays.

One thing you have to remember while praying, its not in YOUR TIME IT IS IN God's time!!!!! And once you have over come and proven that you full heartedly trust the Lord and what he has planned for you, this will pass and you have to Trust the Lord that if will pass and that he will protect you and loves you and will always be there for you.

Another thing you are just as good and worthly as anybody else, nothing you have done is to horrible or whatever for him. He already knows and if you have asked for forgiveness then that is all you can and all you have to do. He loves you more then humanly possible! Just remember that you are just as worthy as anyone else.
God bless.. Dont give up...He will never give up on you.

 

[rfprewitt]

Thank you. Its nice to have people who really understand. You are all such a blessing.