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Prescrip Meds - one compromise

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momof3boyz

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I don't know how I got here. On the outside I have it all. A great husband, three wonderful boys (all under the age of 8). A great house, a great career (that I do at home) - and Christ. I was saved a little over 5 years ago. Really saved. Heart changing, in the gut, life moving.... saved. Now I am an addict. That's the first time I have ever typed that or even said it out loud. When I look at my life and realize that I took about 30 or 40 vicodin per day, each day, for the last few months of my life.... there really is no other word for me, is there? How in heaven did this happen to me? I can only think of one thing. Compromise. I have compromised some part of my belief somewhere along the line. That one thing led to many other things, like a chain of events out of control. It isn't satan's fault. It is my fault. Now I feel so alone (although I know I am not) and so far from God (although I know He is right here with me at this desk) I don't know what to do. Ha. My family has no idea. I'm the perfect mom, wife, neighbor. I have been clean for about 4 days now. 5 minutes ago, the FedEx man arrived with my last refill of meds. Oh my God. I am so lost. I need to go to one of those Celebrate Recovery meetings, I guess. I still absolutely cannot believe this is me typing this story. Prayers and thoughts are appreciated.

Lost Mom
 
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greenonion

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Hugs for Mom!! It's so awesome you are posting here!! You are able to vocalize or write that you have a problem and that is the first step. Praise God!! You mentioned about Celebrate Recovery. Does your church have one you can go to? Or is there one in your area that you could go to, if your church does not have one or you do not feel comfortable? Or could you talk to your husband about it, for support?

I have the same struggle- how can we be saved and slave to drugs/alcohol/sex/food/gambling? Or are we not slaves to them- just weak humans who don't really realize who we are in Christ?
 
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connorsmommy

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dear mother of 3
my brother was prescribed oxycotin and became addicted he later moved on to heroine but i am here to tell you that there is hope there are medicaions out there to kill this demon one is suboxone the other is naltraxone they are opiate blockers that can help you may god bless you and your family i will pray for you
 
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