"Preppy" guys

[eatenbylocusts]

I don't know how else to word this. The guy is extremely well-groomed, well-dressed, and has some interesting mannerisms. Both my friend and I said feminine at the same time when we talked about him. I just want to hear some comments on this subject.

It's not like he's asked me out or anything, but if he did I'd be wondering if he was a recovered homosexual. Thoughts of a future husband falling away from God and running off with a man have gone through my head. I've never asked a man if he's attracted to men, but should I, could I ask such a thing?

 

[covenantwmn]

I'd wait on asking that. If your relationships grows to more than friends, that might be the time. I know the type you mean tho. The Lord will guide you, and as always, protect your heart. Keep us posted.

 

[ido]

I think that would fall more under the metrosexual or effeminate category than preppy - do those words fit him better?

I'm with covnenantwoman - wait until the situation reaches a point where knowing this information would be important for you.

 

[country woman]

I would get to know him as friends first,. then you can see
what happens. you have great addvice from the others

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I think that would fall more under the metrosexual or effeminate category than preppy - do those words fit him better?

I'm with covnenantwoman - wait until the situation reaches a point where knowing this information would be important for you.

Metro was what I was thinking of, but couldn't think of it at the time.

It's kind of funny; when I first met my ex you could tell that he had lightened his hair and had very groomed eyebrows, and hair that looked perfect expect for the color I didn't care for. I thought he might be gay, but that look didn't last.

 

[Jenster]

Well, even if he is a recovered homosexual, that doesn't mean he'll "relapse." I read the true story of a man who lived the gay lifestyle and then came to Christ and eventually got married. He thanked God every day for his wife and their marriage.

 

[jcj3803]

I've known many straight guys who were somewhat effeminate and many straight women who were somewhat masculine. One guy was very effeminate but had three kids - he had been raised by two maiden aunts after his parents died. In general, I'd trust my gut, but I guess I'd wait and see in this case.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Well, even if he is a recovered homosexual, that doesn't mean he'll "relapse." I read the true story of a man who lived the gay lifestyle and then came to Christ and eventually got married. He thanked God every day for his wife and their marriage.

I'm not saying a recovered homosexual would be more likely to fall back into sin than a heterosexual. The only difference would be an increased risk to me if my spouse was engaging in unprotected sex with a male since HIV rates are higher.

I've known many straight guys who were somewhat effeminate and many straight women who were somewhat masculine. One guy was very effeminate but had three kids - he had been raised by two maiden aunts after his parents died. In general, I'd trust my gut, but I guess I'd wait and see in this case.

Ok, now I'm thinking I need to send my son to my brother's for a few weeks this summer since he's living in a house full of females, even the cat. Maybe an extra week at boy scout camp too. That's about as testosterony as you can get (and smelly too since some of the boys think showering is optional away from home).

 

[Zeo]

As someone with not much of a "gaydar" (and also someone who could be classified as "genderqueer," which seems to be what you're trying to describe this chap as being), I'd just like to reiterate that being effeminate does NOT equal homosexual. If you're really curious, you can ask him yourself. But if he's hitting on you and doesn't seem to show any interest in men, go ahead and trust that unless you have reason to think differently.

It might be true that some gay people choose to exist in "gay culture," but for the most part all that pop culture "gay men like fashion and paint their nails" bullocks is just that: pop culture bullocks. It says little to nothing about most people in the world, so don't let Queer Eye prevent you from getting to know this person as an actual (probably straight) human being.