Pregnant... and scared...

[MagicStar723]

Well my fiance and I have made a terrible mistake by giving into temptation and now we will pay for our actions.
I am pregnant (well we haven't been to the dr. yet confirm 100% but I do have a positive pregnancy test)
Prayers would be greatly apprectiated! We don't even know where to begin. I am getting ready to turn 18 and he will be 20 soon. He is a full time college student and I just graduated highschool. He is starting 2 part-time jobs tomorrow and I work 30 hr a week so we can try to afford this. We know as soon as we tell our parents, more than likely we will get kicked out so we will wait a bit until we have a little cash saved up.
Neither of our parents are Christians, nor do they support us that much.
Where do we begin? How do I find a good Dr. to go to confirm?
This baby is unplanned and unexpected but definately not unwanted.
Oh, btw we WERE safe. Goes to show you there is no safe sex.

 

[sammipher]

Well maybe you should go to the health dept...but, at 17 I am not sure if you have to have your parents permission..maybe you can call and inquire..its very important to get prenatal care A.S.A.P when you are pregnant. Usually states will have a program where if you fall under a certain income bracket you qualify for free healthcare during pregnancy..also check your local state laws on WIC...the wic program in our state will actually help pregnant women and nursing women with food...as well as the child. Pregnancy tests at the health dept. are also free..they may not even be required to tell your parents..though I think they should know. I wish nothing but the best for you and your fiance...I am 25..married...and pregnant and scared to death..Your situtaion is much different than mine so I understand why your scared...just remember the Lord always has a plan..though you may not see what the plan is now...hold on to your faith in him..he will lead the both of you through. I always believe that just because a child was unplanned doesnt mean they were unloved or unwanted ...I was an unplanned pregnancy...and I know the love my mother has for me. If you do not mind I think I may know someone who can help you better...I am gonna pm her this thread. God bless! Feel free to pm anytime if you need someone to talk to.

 

[Neenie1]

Hi, I had an unplanned pregnancy at 25 (now I know there is a huge difference between 25, and 17 but I was still pretty scared)

My little boy is now a gorgeous 3 1/2 year old.

Pregnancy tests are pretty accurate, and if you have a positive test result, then chances are you are pregnant.

It's important to get to a doctor as soon as possible to have it confirmed and to work out your options for health care.

I wouldn't be so quick to suggest your parents are going to kick you out. Just try to be calm and get confirmation from the doctor, also your fiancee needs to know as well.

As far as health care goes, sorry I can't help out there, because I am in Australia.

 

[EmSchmem]

MagicStar
go to www.optionline.org
That is a web site for teens and women with unplanned pregnancies. You can find a Pregnancy Resource Center in you area that will help you get help. They can help confirm your pregnancy test as well as tell you what services area available in your area. They should be able to help you get set up with Medicaid and WIC and also help you figure out what to do if your parents kick you out. the women there are usually really nice (PLEASE call the 1 800 number on the web site if anyone at a center treats you in a negative way) and many of them have been where you are. All of their services are free.
Now please remember that while you may have made a mistake in falling to temptation, your child is still a blessing and there is plenty of opportunity to be blessed through your child. I wish you the best of luck. If you have any more questions, let me know.

 

[aimeemarie]

Honey, let me tell you my story. I'm 21 and a junior in college. On March 29 of this year for some reason I thought that maybe I was pregnant because I hadn't started my period. I randomnly asked my boyfriend (who is now my fiance, we are getting married in two weeks!) to stop at a store and we grabbed a pregnancy test. I have taken many pregnancy tests and they are always negative. I did NOT expect this one to be positive! But, suprise, suprise, it was! I love babies. To death. But I wasn't ready. Financially we weren't ready and we weren't married yet. When I took the test we were babysitting for a few friends. They have a 10 month old and a 3 year old. I thought well what better time that now to take the test. I gave Alanna (the baby) to my fiance and went in the bathroom took the test and in less than 30 seconds my life changed! I fell to the floor crying and came outside and told my fiance I was pregnant and for about 1/2 hour we both were just completely confused, mad, upset and not talking. Meanwhile it's time for the baby to go to sleep for the night and she's gotten harder as she's gotten older to rock to sleep! Here I am with a crying baby pondering how I am going to deal with my own!

We knew we would get married because we had dated for four years and planned to get married next June when I would be out of college. When we were financially ready. Now we know that God needed us to get married before that. We were both ready emotionally, we were just waiting until we thought we were ready. That was silly.

God is NOT punishing you for having premarital sex...do you hear me? God does not punish people. That's what we thought. Now, 1 month 1/2 later we, and our families, could not be more excited for this baby that will come in December! God planned this baby from the beginning. He knew exactly when he wanted he or she to grace the earth and has very special plans for it. Our babies may have been suprises to us...but not to God. He already planned them out to change our lives. Congratulations! Trust me, things will get so much better!

 

[ShannonMcCatholic]

I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone-- I also was pregnant when I was 17 (and also 20). I ended up giving those babies up for adoption, as that was right for me and the babies.

I remember how scared and overwhelmed I felt! I am sorry that you do not have your parents' support-- but that will likely completely change after they meet thier little grandbaby!

Oh- and Congratulations!! What a gift it is to be a co-creator with God!

 

[day2day]

Please tell a trusted adult. and go to the doctor. I am praying for you. Have faith, you and the little one will make it.

 

[AdJesumPerMariam]

Yes, prenatal care is VERY important. Please get to a doc!!

Also, my daughter got pregnant @ 15 & delivered when she was 16. I was on the phone long distance to a friend, when she decided to tell me. I went thru a whole bunch of emotions in a very shot time, seconds, and supported her the rest of the time. She was afraid to tell me, I know, but she knew I loved her.
Parents are funny, they want the best for their child, and when the child makes mistakes, they don't just blame the child, but themselves. You think, "what more could I have done? " "Or what have I done wrong?"

 

[reformedfan]

Crisis pregnancy centers are wonderful resources:

They can get you (in my town, at least) referred to a doc for prenatal care for cheap or free, on the different govt assistance programs, if you decide to raise the baby, they'll give you everything, absolutely everything you need: parenting classes, crib, car seat, clothes, diapers, formula; if you decide to give the baby up for adoption, they'll hook you up with a Christian organization, & they'll give you a list of Godly Christians who can talk wiyth you & help you with this painful decision.

I'll be praying for you. As terrifying as this is, it really isn't the end of the world, hang in there! Try to hang onto a long term perspective.

 

[Diane_Windsor]

Tell your parents, and please consider presenting your child to a good married Christian couple (i.e. adoption). There are thousands of childless couples who would love to raise a child.

Diane


Edited to add:

I just came across some verses that hopefull will bring you comfort.

"If my father and mother leave me, the Lord will take me in." -----Psalm 27:10

"Give all your worries to him, because he cares about you." ------I Peter 5:7

Go to the CyberHymnal and worship God through song.

It Is Well With My Soul
What a Friend We Have In Jesus
Abide With Me
Jesus Loves Me
Jesus Loves Even Me

Since we are to "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise" (Psalm 100:4) I suggest starting with a hymn of thanksgiving/praise such as HYMN TO A GRACIOUS SOVEREIGN or the Doxology.

Diane

 

[JoshuasMacGeek]

Please keep us updated! How are you doing? How is your fiance about this?

My parents are not Christian either... I got married because of a pregnancy.

 

[MagicStar723]

Hi there,
Thank you all for your advice/support. My finance has been wonderful. Caring for me and just being there.
I have been to the Dr. and am 8 weeks. However after abnormal heavy bleeding and another Dr appt. It has been confirmed that I have had an early miscarriage. I am heartbroken, even though we are too young to consider planning to have a child, we were fully prepared to take responsibility for this child. I go back to the Dr. this week for a check up to make sure everything is ok with me. Please keep us in your prayers.

 

[jazzbird]

Hi there,
Thank you all for your advice/support. My finance has been wonderful. Caring for me and just being there.
I have been to the Dr. and am 8 weeks. However after abnormal heavy bleeding and another Dr appt. It has been confirmed that I have had an early miscarriage. I am heartbroken, even though we are too young to consider planning to have a child, we were fully prepared to take responsibility for this child. I go back to the Dr. this week for a check up to make sure everything is ok with me. Please keep us in your prayers.

I am so sorry. Even though the timing wasn't best for a child, I know it doesn't make the heartbreak any less. It's a horrible thing to have to go through. I am just so, so sorry honey. Please pm me if you want anyone to talk with. I have had two miscarriages and am waiting for my third miscarriage to happen. I understand your pain and disappointment, and I would be glad to provide a shoulder to cry on and/or a listening ear. When I lost my first, also at 8 weeks, I was so devastated and felt so alone. It helped me so much to be able to talk about it. So, the invitation is open. Even if you don't feel like talking to anyone right now - which is okay too - remember me if you ever feel the need.

Take care of yourself. I pray that God will heal your heart and bless you with another child in his perfect time.

 

[Carri20]

I'm so sorry to hear of your miscarriage. =( I know you're heartbroken, and that's normal. It will take some time to heal. Know what though? As a sister in Christ, I'm so proud of you I could burst. You knew it would be difficult to carry out the pregnancy with your parents' reactions and your future dreams ahead of you and all the pressure you might have felt from society, but I believe your words were "this baby is not unwanted". Bless you for that. A lot of women might have run straight to their nearest abortion clinic. You didn't. You were prepared to house that little baby in your body until he or she was ready to come into the world. Right now your son or daughter is with Christ, and the four of you--you, the baby, your fiance, and Christ--will all meet one day in a reunion more joyous than you or I can imagine! Your happy ending is ensured. Praise God.

I will keep you in my prayers. =)

 

[EmSchmem]

magicstar
if you feel like you need it, those centers I told you about also typically refer for pregnancy loss support groups. i decided not to use one when I had my miscarriage (a year ago today actually) but I know many have benefited from them.

 

[dews]

I am so sorry. I understand your pain. I have had 3 miscarriages and a stillbirth. You will not forget your little one. Someday you will be reunited in heaven. Sometimes I wonder if our miscarriages are girls or boys or both. It's been 8 years since we have lost them and I still think about them. Now we have 2 girls and a boy.

 

[Neenie1]

Even though it wasn't the best time for you guys to have a baby, God still gave you one and started to grow the life inside you.


Sorry to hear about your loss and praying that you will be able to move through the grieving process and find the plans God has for your life.