Pregnant&alone..need Prayer For Reconciliation Please Help!

[faithfulisgod]

I am 5 months pregnant with my third child.My oldest is from my ex husband and my youngest and the baby I'm carrying are from my recent ex-boyfriend.We were together for 3 1/2 yrs. and were going to premarital counseling during the summer. In September I found out I was pregnant with our second child and he was very upset as he was not ready or wanting any more children at the time. In late October I found out he had been chatting online with oter women and was trying to hook up with them. I was beside myself because I had caught him chatting on sex sites in May of last year and he swore he would never chat or visit inappropriate websites anymore. Well when I confronted him about the chatting he said he wasn't doing anything wrong because he no longer cared about me. I was crushed and that day we split up. Despite what he did I was still willing to work things out if he was willing to get his act together and go to counseling.... I gave him time to sort through his feelings and didn't bring anything up in regards to us getting back together because I wanted him to know in his heart if he really wanted to be with me.Two weeks after we split up we finally talked about the whole situation. He told me that he had REALLY only started chatting online because he thought I was "snooping" through his things and he wanted to make his point that he didn't approve of that... ( I hadn't snooped through anything. I came across a list of womens user ID's when I was looking for a piece of paper to write him a note to tell him I loved him) Any how he told me that he loved me but he couldn't be with me "at the time" and that only time would tell what the future would hold for our relationship. I was crushed but I clinged to God knowing that He would work all things unto good according to His will. Six weeks have past since we split up.Only his mom and sister know we have seperated and the rest of his family have no clue we are not together or even that I'm pregnant... He has been inviting me places and when we have hung out everything has been great between us but the next day will come and he is very blunt to let me know that we are "friends" and the only reason he calls me is to check up on our son.I am so taken back by all his mixed signals he has been giving me..when we spend time together it seems like he really wants to be with me but at the same time he only gives me enough hope to get to the next day... I am so tired of the run around he's giving me.I don't know how he REALLY feels or what his real intentions are.It's like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He has been partying alot and I know he has been talking and seeing other women. I love him with all of my heart but I don't know how much more of this I can take from him...I know he loves me but I dont think he's ready for the committment to be the boyfriend and father me and our kids need him to have in order for us to be happy and have a healthy relationship.... It breaks my heart to know I am going through this pregnancy by myself and raising my kids on my own..They are so young and deserve a chance to have the family me and their father never had growing up.Please if anyone has any encouraging words of advice I would greatly appreciate it if you would share it with me as I am at a total loss for what to do anymore other than cling to God!!! Please pray for healing in Mike's and my heart and for God to be with Mike to open his eyes to God's will.Also please pray for all of the negative influences and distractions be taken from Mike's life so that he may see clearly what God has in store for him and our family.Pray for God to reveal His will to me so that I may either move on or hang on to the hope that God is working behind the scenes to bring reconciliation........ Thank you so much for your prayers!I am greatly appreciative.

Sister in Christ,
Stacie

 

[rocklife]

praying

God may bring reconciliation to you with other people though, and maybe not these men (like your parents or someone else). Keep seeking Him and He will surely help you. I am a single mom too. He is good to help us.

 

[minimoose]

I will keep you in prayer. That is a very difficult situation. May God bless you and your children's future.

 

[ivory]

I am 5 months pregnant with my third child.My oldest is from my ex husband and my youngest and the baby I'm carrying are from my recent ex-boyfriend.We were together for 3 1/2 yrs. and were going to premarital counseling during the summer. In September I found out I was pregnant with our second child and he was very upset as he was not ready or wanting any more children at the time. In late October I found out he had been chatting online with oter women and was trying to hook up with them. I was beside myself because I had caught him chatting on sex sites in May of last year and he swore he would never chat or visit inappropriate websites anymore. Well when I confronted him about the chatting he said he wasn't doing anything wrong because he no longer cared about me. I was crushed and that day we split up. Despite what he did I was still willing to work things out if he was willing to get his act together and go to counseling.... I gave him time to sort through his feelings and didn't bring anything up in regards to us getting back together because I wanted him to know in his heart if he really wanted to be with me.Two weeks after we split up we finally talked about the whole situation. He told me that he had REALLY only started chatting online because he thought I was "snooping" through his things and he wanted to make his point that he didn't approve of that... ( I hadn't snooped through anything. I came across a list of womens user ID's when I was looking for a piece of paper to write him a note to tell him I loved him) Any how he told me that he loved me but he couldn't be with me "at the time" and that only time would tell what the future would hold for our relationship. I was crushed but I clinged to God knowing that He would work all things unto good according to His will. Six weeks have past since we split up.Only his mom and sister know we have seperated and the rest of his family have no clue we are not together or even that I'm pregnant... He has been inviting me places and when we have hung out everything has been great between us but the next day will come and he is very blunt to let me know that we are "friends" and the only reason he calls me is to check up on our son.I am so taken back by all his mixed signals he has been giving me..when we spend time together it seems like he really wants to be with me but at the same time he only gives me enough hope to get to the next day... I am so tired of the run around he's giving me.I don't know how he REALLY feels or what his real intentions are.It's like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He has been partying alot and I know he has been talking and seeing other women. I love him with all of my heart but I don't know how much more of this I can take from him...I know he loves me but I dont think he's ready for the committment to be the boyfriend and father me and our kids need him to have in order for us to be happy and have a healthy relationship.... It breaks my heart to know I am going through this pregnancy by myself and raising my kids on my own..They are so young and deserve a chance to have the family me and their father never had growing up.Please if anyone has any encouraging words of advice I would greatly appreciate it if you would share it with me as I am at a total loss for what to do anymore other than cling to God!!! Please pray for healing in Mike's and my heart and for God to be with Mike to open his eyes to God's will.Also please pray for all of the negative influences and distractions be taken from Mike's life so that he may see clearly what God has in store for him and our family.Pray for God to reveal His will to me so that I may either move on or hang on to the hope that God is working behind the scenes to bring reconciliation........ Thank you so much for your prayers!I am greatly appreciative.

Sister in Christ,
Stacie

The way we accomplish being in God's will is by lining up our will with God’s will, by asking him to make His desires our desires. When this occurs we will be in God’s will and be happy doing it. To get to that point requires both prayer and a thorough study of the word. Find out what the word of God say about you situation. We must not try to make our will God's will. It will never work.

God Bless!

 

[CrazyforYeshua]

I guess I get to be the bad guy here, but here goes.
Apparently you were living sinfully, having relations, and a child, outside of marraige. You were not walking in Gods will or His ways. The first thing you need to do is repent of that, rededicate your life to the Lord, and live as a child of God.
As far as the father to the children it does not sound as if he is going to commit to you. I would not worry about reconciling with him, and make my own life with God, and my kids.

 

[Amisk]

I guess I get to be the bad guy here, but here goes.
Apparently you were living sinfully, having relations, and a child, outside of marriage. You were not walking in Gods will or His ways. The first thing you need to do is repent of that, rededicate your life to the Lord, and live as a child of God.
As far as the father to the children it does not sound as if he is going to commit to you. I would not worry about reconciling with him, and make my own life with God, and my kids.

Your advise is hard but it is correct and the only one our friend can follow if she wishes to straighten out the mess she has got her life into.

May I add this further advise. Seek the Lord's forgiveness and then seek Christian counselling. Do not seek to renew the relationship with the father of your child. He has played you for a sucker and you like many young woman have fallen into his trap.

In future relationship stick to the Bible's warning of marriage first and sex there after. Seek counselling no place where it is not based on the Bible. You may find help through some of the Salvation Army Social Workers.

 

[Zecryphon]

"I am 5 months pregnant with my third child.My oldest is from my ex husband and my youngest and the baby I'm carrying are from my recent ex-boyfriend.We were together for 3 1/2 yrs. and were going to premarital counseling during the summer. In September I found out I was pregnant with our second child and he was very upset as he was not ready or wanting any more children at the time."

Two problems here. One you're living together without being married, which greatly increases the tempation for physical relations. Obviously physical relations have resulted outside of marriage by the both of you. Two, if he didn't want anymore kids, why weren't you using some form of birth control? Or were you impregnated by foreplay, it can happen.

"In late October I found out he had been chatting online with oter women and was trying to hook up with them."

So he has a definite problem with lust. A good resource for him and for you as well is the Every Man's Series by Stephen Arterburn. He has a series for women who deal with issues of temptation and lust too.

"I was beside myself because I had caught him chatting on sex sites in May of last year and he swore he would never chat or visit inappropriate websites anymore. Well when I confronted him about the chatting he said he wasn't doing anything wrong because he no longer cared about me."

His actions prove that.

"I was crushed and that day we split up. Despite what he did I was still willing to work things out if he was willing to get his act together and go to counseling.... I gave him time to sort through his feelings and didn't bring anything up in regards to us getting back together because I wanted him to know in his heart if he really wanted to be with me.Two weeks after we split up we finally talked about the whole situation. He told me that he had REALLY only started chatting online because he thought I was "snooping" through his things and he wanted to make his point that he didn't approve of that... "

BS. There are other ways to tell someone you don't approve of their snooping. In his case, I say too bad. He brought this on himself when you had caught him last year doing the same thing. If someone cheats on you, you have every right to remain suspicious. He obviously did something to arouse your suspicions again, and look at that, you were right, he was cheating on you.

"( I hadn't snooped through anything. I came across a list of womens user ID's when I was looking for a piece of paper to write him a note to tell him I loved him) Any how he told me that he loved me but he couldn't be with me "at the time" and that only time would tell what the future would hold for our relationship."

Yeah, he definitely needs some time to think things through as do you.

"I was crushed but I clinged to God knowing that He would work all things unto good according to His will. Six weeks have past since we split up.Only his mom and sister know we have seperated and the rest of his family have no clue we are not together or even that I'm pregnant... He has been inviting me places and when we have hung out everything has been great between us but the next day will come and he is very blunt to let me know that we are "friends" and the only reason he calls me is to check up on our son.I am so taken back by all his mixed signals he has been giving me..when we spend time together it seems like he really wants to be with me but at the same time he only gives me enough hope to get to the next day... I am so tired of the run around he's giving me.I don't know how he REALLY feels or what his real intentions are.It's like he wants to have his cake and eat it too."

It sounds like he's trying to set up an eventual "friends with benefits" situation here. Cut him out of your life as a romantic interest and move on. Until you both get right with God for your pasts, I don't see any future here for you as husband and wife.

"He has been partying alot and I know he has been talking and seeing other women. I love him with all of my heart but I don't know how much more of this I can take from him...I know he loves me but I dont think he's ready for the committment to be the boyfriend and father me and our kids need him to have in order for us to be happy and have a healthy relationship.... It breaks my heart to know I am going through this pregnancy by myself and raising my kids on my own..They are so young and deserve a chance to have the family me and their father never had growing up.Please if anyone has any encouraging words of advice I would greatly appreciate it if you would share it with me as I am at a total loss for what to do anymore other than cling to God!!!"

In a situation like this, when you have tried everything you can think of to fix it on your own, you have no other choice but to bring it before God. He will guide you and tell you what you need to do. Listen to your conscience on this one. You know that what your ex-boyfriend is doing is wrong. That's good. Take the advice of the others on here, and repent and turn from the sins you have committed and re-dedicate yourself to God and serving Him. Walk worthy and you will find that God may just provide you with a man who loves you and your children and desires to spend his life with you as God intended.

"Please pray for healing in Mike's and my heart and for God to be with Mike to open his eyes to God's will.Also please pray for all of the negative influences and distractions be taken from Mike's life so that he may see clearly what God has in store for him and our family.Pray for God to reveal His will to me so that I may either move on or hang on to the hope that God is working behind the scenes to bring reconciliation........ Thank you so much for your prayers!I am greatly appreciative."

I will pray that you both are cured of the negative influences that have brought you to this point and that you both realize God's will in your life and for your life. Because what you're doing to each other, is not God's will.