Predestination

GIGATT247 · Dec 1, 2004

Has anyone ever thought that the reason that some relationships just don't work is because God has someone else that He has wants us to be with. Someone that we were destined to be with before we were even born and God will not let us accept anything other than His perfect will?

the_man · Dec 1, 2004

GIGATT247 said:
Has anyone ever thought that the reason that some relationships just don't work is because God has someone else that He has wants us to be with. Someone that we were destined to be with before we were even born and God will not let us accept anything other than His perfect will?

Well, "destined to be with someone before we were born" is not the way to look at it. God is outside of time so who we will be with (if that is in the cards so to speak) is known by Him. That doesn't mean He determines it. One way to understand it would be to think of God experiencing time (all time) simultaneously. So, yesterdays dinner, is the same as today's post, is the same as tomorrows shower...to God. In all those events we have freedom to make our choices.

However, all I've said above has to be coupled with the following Regarding free will vs Gods will, a simple (but adequate) example would be to think of this: On this earth you can go wherever you want. However, movement on earth has little impact on the earths rotation or orbit.

heartnsoul · Dec 1, 2004

GIGATT247 said:
Has anyone ever thought that the reason that some relationships just don't work is because God has someone else that He has wants us to be with. Someone that we were destined to be with before we were even born and God will not let us accept anything other than His perfect will?

I believe that there are many people who could be suitable for us (not just one) that God would want us to be with. God would want the BEST for us rather than people we sometimes choose ourselves (that may not be according to His will). What you are referring to is soul mates. I have read so many articles on soul mates. Soul mates are partners who are spiritually mature. From what I read, it is a relationship based on *spiritual* attraction, not physical attraction. So that to me means that there is a major difference between godly marriages versus man-made marriages. Bottom line: if it was up to God, God would match us up with people that are the BEST for us...just like a parent who would want the BEST for his/her child.

But to your question, I think some marriages don't work because it could be due to many reasons: spiritual immaturity, incompatibility, settling for less (not waiting for the BEST), not putting God and marriage first, hardness of the heart, etc. It's hard to lump divorce into one category because every relationship is different. Good thought-provoking post!

GIGATT247 · Dec 1, 2004

heartnsoul said:
I believe that there are many people who could be suitable for us (not just one) that God would want us to be with. God would want the BEST for us rather than people we sometimes choose ourselves (that may not be according to His will). What you are referring to is soul mates. I have read so many articles on soul mates. Soul mates are partners who are spiritually mature. From what I read, it is a relationship based on *spiritual* attraction, not physical attraction. So that to me means that there is a major difference between godly marriages versus man-made marriages. Bottom line: if it was up to God, God would match us up with people that are the BEST for us...just like a parent who would want the BEST for his/her child.

But to your question, I think some marriages don't work because it could be due to many reasons: spiritual immaturity, incompatibility, settling for less (not waiting for the BEST), not putting God and marriage first, hardness of the heart, etc. It's hard to lump divorce into one category because every relationship is different. Good thought-provoking post!

Thank you for this post. Soul Mate is exactly what I was talking about. What if someone marries someone who they know is not there soul mate and they married them for all the wrong reasons. How do you spend the rest of your life in a marriage with someone that you only look at in a friendly way? I know that God can change anything, but what if the reason you're not in love with the person in the first place is really because it's not meant to be, especially when both peolple are hurting? How do you know when to tough it out and wait for change or if change will never come? Some things God doesn't change no matter how hard we pray or how much faith we have. How can you pray for God to make you fall in love with someone when you feel like He already it told you it wasn't meant to be and you just didn't listen? Does God expect us to stay in a marriage that He warned us not to get in and we did it anyway and now it's all messed up for everybody? If it was never God's will just ours, can we expect for Him to fix and it automatically become His will? If He knows who'll we'll be with and we have freewill isn't it possible that we might step out of His will and choose the wrong one? If God has a plan for us, can we mess it up?

the_man · Dec 1, 2004

heartnsoul said:
*snip* What you are referring to is soul mates. I have read so many articles on soul mates. Soul mates are partners who are spiritually mature. From what I read, it is a relationship based on *spiritual* attraction, not physical attraction. So that to me means that there is a major difference between godly marriages versus man-made marriages. Bottom line: if it was up to God, God would match us up with people that are the BEST for us...just like a parent who would want the BEST for his/her child.

I think that is dangerous..that is, overspiritualizing this (i.e. matters between a man and a woman). Christ clearly states that there is no such thing in Heaven for we are to be like the angels. (angels don't marry, Matt 22:23-33)

InTheFlame · Dec 1, 2004

Wow, you're really fighting on this one, aren't you? *huggggggggggggggg*

It's a tough situation you're in I DO feel for you. But I do think you're grasping at straws in your fight against doing what God wants. I'm praying for you.

bkg · Dec 1, 2004

GIGATT247 said:
Has anyone ever thought that the reason that some relationships just don't work is because God has someone else that He has wants us to be with. Someone that we were destined to be with before we were even born and God will not let us accept anything other than His perfect will?

Not possible. To say so would violate God's Word. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow - His word never changes. To say that He pre-destines someone to marry and then divorce would violate His words on the subjects. Period.

I believe God changes hearts - it's is written as such, therefore it is true. Perhaps it is time to pray that God will change your heart???

Emma! · Dec 2, 2004

GIGATT247 said:
Has anyone ever thought that the reason that some relationships just don't work is because God has someone else that He has wants us to be with. Someone that we were destined to be with before we were even born and God will not let us accept anything other than His perfect will?

We have to choose His will for our lives.

alaskamolly · Dec 2, 2004

When you make a covenant, God holds you to it. Doesn't really matter if He had a better plan for you--once you make the covenant, you need to keep your end of it. If the covenant is broken by means outside of your control (ie, spouse dying, spouse committing adultery, etc), you then have the right to your freedom. But if the covenant has not been broken, you are held responsible for your end of it, and God will not bless your breaking it.

Remember the story of the Israelites who got tricked into making a covenant of peace with a neighboring Canaanite nation? Israel made the covenant (didn't stop to ask God about it, just went and made it), and how did God then respond? Well, even though God's people were DECIEVED into making it, and even though God's intention and original instruction was for them NOT to make that covenant... God STILL told them they had BETTER keep that covenant and not even THINK about breaking it, unless they wanted to be under a curse!

God holds covenant very sacred. Breaking it and calling it "His will" is something I'd be very very afraid to do, personally. I understand the temptation--I don't know your situation, but I know there are difficult ones out there...if I was in one, I'd hope that I would fear God more than I'd fear the remaining years under a not-so-great covenantal bond.
Blessings to you,
Molly

fruitrach · Dec 2, 2004

GIGATT247 said:
Has anyone ever thought that the reason that some relationships just don't work is because God has someone else that He has wants us to be with. Someone that we were destined to be with before we were even born and God will not let us accept anything other than His perfect will?

No, I think that's an excuse that Christians like to throw in when things are getting a bit difficult and they want a way out.

I believe that in some cases God does have a specific pairing, whereas in others he doesn't and in some, he calls people to singleness and celibacy.

And I also belive that sometimes humans get it wrong, marry the "wrong" person or for the "wrong reasons" etc.

BUT more than that, I believe that God takes promises VERY seriously indeed and a marriage is a promise, a covenant between man, woman and God, that these two will stay together for better or for worse.

How many people actually stop to consider before their wedding day that it might actually be worse? I know I didn't. I couldn't think of any way it could possibly be worse. But it was, for a while. And I was struck by the reality of the promise I had made. I know that God heard that promise and expects me to keep it. Until death. So I will - I am committed to it and will do whatever it takes to make it work.

Marriage is great now, even though some of the things that made it "worse" haven't changed. I love Dan more than ever God has been gracious (as always!)

The vicar who married us said "How do you know you've married the right man? He's the one you wake up next to the day after your wedding."

charligirl · Dec 2, 2004

fruitrach said:
The vicar who married us said "How do you know you've married the right man? He's the one you wake up next to the day after your wedding."

That is so true, even if you married out of sheer rebellion, once you have made that covenant God expects you to keep to it, He loves marriage and if you ask Him He will do everything to make your marriage a success.

When I was making the decision to marry I asked God for His will on thte situation. he said this...

" I could tell you to marry Bob, but I'm not going to, you have the gift of choice and freewill, BUT if you do say yes, I will give you everything you need to make it a success."

If we don't ultimately make the choie for ourselves then we always have God to blame if it doesn't go as we expected, then we can say 'ah I obviously got it wrong, it wasn't His will after all'.

Even if it wasn't God's plan, the moment you say 'I do' your marriage and success of it IS His will, and to get out of it would be to go against His will.

~Nikki~ · Dec 2, 2004

I agree with the others...once you make the vow to God then you have to keep it.

There's a verse in Deuteronomy that I found the other day which says...

Deut 23:21-23
"When you make a vow to the Lord your God, you shall not delay to pay it, for the Lord your God will surely require it of you, and it would be sin to you. But if you abstain from vowing, it shall not be sin to you. That which has gone from your lips you shall keep and perform, for you voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth."

The thing is that even if a person wishes they'd never married in the first place, as far as I can see, God still requires us to keep the vows we make. I know that this may be the hardest thing in the world to do, but God will give us the strength to do that which He requires of us as long as we're determined to obey Him.

1 Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."

Phillipians 4:13
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Maybe some of you have read this story already, but I'd thought I'd give the link as it's a story I found so amazing, because of what God can do if we're prepared to obey Him no matter what it takes or how long it takes...

http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/2004/002/9.44.html

God bless!

okiemommy26 · Dec 2, 2004

I really dont know what to think

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