mwb said:
I think just observing the person for contradictions is extremely important. First ask the questions but then make sure the person's behavior matches their answers. Actions speak louder than words. Anyone can say things & make up stories but their actions will ultimately determine the real truth.
I also agree! I've known a few (supposedly Christian) people who have no problem lying through their teeth. They justify it by saying they're being "kind" to the other person or "managing the situation."
My rule of thumb is to look at the fruit of their lives, their habits and what they say. Anyone who is self-involved, and there are quite a few such people out there, is an automatic No Way.
Very often I hear people say, "Well, he (or she) didn't get to know me before he (or she) rejected me." I understand how painful that can be, and it is true that some people are judged very superficially. BUT I think the truth is that very often our actions are speaking loudly and people ARE able to size up quite a bit about us before we even get to the point of going on a date.
All that being said, I see the value in asking questions too, faithopelove. Some people will not answer certain questions, and that speaks volumes. If you encounter someone who tries too hard to "control" what you know about them, that is a red flag.
But to answer your question ...
... I'd ask ...
How did you come to know Christ?
What do you do in your free time?
What's the one thing you're most looking forward to right now?
Ever gone on a mission trip?
And then there are the all-important follow up questions based on what the person has told you.
What prevents you from attending church regularly?
You seem to not want to talk about XYZ. Can I ask why?
How much time do you spend playing golf each week?
Etc.!