Prayers answered

[ObsessedButBlessed]

Back in July, my OCD switched tracks and began attacking my faith. At first it was a horrendous doubt over whether or not God existed (if he didn't exist, said my OCD, then my whole reason for existence was futile!). Once that argument ended, it moved onto whether or not I really believed (was I thinking about God enough? Did I "feel" like a Christian? I sin too much to be a Christian, did I really believe in all of this?)

During that time, I prayed continuously for two things:

1) That God would not let go of his grasp of me; that he would continually press on my heart in spite of these horrible doubts, and

2) that he wound send someone or let me meet someone who experienced the same things that I did and would help me through this difficult time.

On another OCD message board I frequent, someone (who was paramount in helping me get a grip on OCD in the first place) mentioned this web site to another poster long before I ever dealt with religious obsessions. So when I started having these doubts, I came here, and it is SO obvious that God orchestrated all of this in order to help me through this time. He did not abandon me, even though I "felt" like I had lost touch with God and that my beliefs had suddenly disappeared! He led me here, to meet all of you, and to come together with you so that we can uplift each other when we're hurting. This site has been a tremendous help to me.

It's been a few months now and I feel good most of the time. I just wanted to share my gratefulness for "meeting" all of you. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't heard of this site and found so many others like me. I KNOW God's hand is in all of this. He truly cares for us.

I have a LOT of work to do still... I have had a "feelings-based faith", probably because of OCD, my entire life. I think God led me down this path because he wants me to experience a true faith, one that involves emotions, yes, but one that also relies on God when the absence of the "right" emotions is apparent.

 

[junezephyr]

Don't know if I've chatted with you before Sad, but I think that's great that you've been comforted by this site (as have I). You sound like you're on a great track, and someday you'll be able to possibly help others who'll struggle with these things too. Feelings-based faith is a snare for me too, although it's so freeing when it becomes volitional. Thanks for posting this, and here's a big for you!

 

[QUannie]

Sad,
I am so glad for you....I too have struggled with a feeling based faith for so long that when I learned to trust in Christ and not my feelings it was hard but freeing at the same time. I too believe God wanted me to have a true faith, the Holy Spirit told you and I the same thing apparently!!!
I had so much relief when I came to this site...knowing I was not the only one......WOW! That was huge for me. The Lord has also revealed sin in me that I would constantly check my posts to see if someone would validate or honor what I was saying....BLAH.....UGH!Basically looking for personal recognition and acceptance when it really belonged to the Lord!!!! But even when He showed me that it was for my good and His glory it was a tender correction .I almost could hear Him say...why are you mad???!!! As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another! {forgot what scripture that is} Anyway, He will use us to help each other even when it hurts...but it is for that genuine faith He wants us to be built up in....
blessings dear one, and I rejoice with you!!!

Love,
Q