Praying for you as well. I commend you for reaching out and asking for prayers.
I have also struggled with anxiety. Mine started in 2013. My anxiety due to a very tragic thing happening in my life. I was married to a man that had a terminal illness. it is called Cystic Fibrosis. We grew up together, knew each other since we were 8 years old. we started dating in high school and got married when we were 18. Cystic Fibrosis is a devastating disease that treatment is to prolong life, not cure. He was 23 years old and it got to a point were he needed a lung transplant. We were being transferred to a different state to do this. I went there first, got us an apartment and had a job interview. I was looking forward to our new start and that my husband could breathe easier. The next morning I got a phone call at 3am that he had a heart attack in the bathroom of the hospital and that they found a needle in his arm. I had absolutely no idea those thoughts were running through his head. I was angry at points because I felt he gave up and gave up on me. My anxiety stems from unknown of my loved ones thoughts. I am remarried now 4 years and my husband now is such a blessing in my life. He reignited my faith and joy in life but I am always so afraid of what can happen. He is healthy and has nothing like my first husband going on but I come up with all these scenarios. Somehow he is cheating on me or he is going to die on the way home from work in a car accident. Some scenario that he will unexpectedly be gone.
I share all of this with you because I have gotten better. I still have episodes but it is not a daily thing for me anymore. It happens fewer and far between and has been a weight off my shoulders. 3 things that helped me.
1. Learning to absolutely trust in the Lord. To have faith that He is in control and anxiety gives me no peace in Him and in life. Philippians 4:6 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Easier said than done, I whole heartedly know, but the more you try and lean on Him with a full heart of faith, it will get easier. I encourage you to have verses ready when a situation arises. Verses that specifically bring you joy, makes you feel positive. 1 Corinthians 13 the whole chapter is beautiful, reminding me of love. All around love that God intends us to have.
2. I stopped secluding myself. In seclusion you have way to much time to think about all the things that make you anxious. This at first did not mean for me to just be out with friends all the time. No, baby steps. Just started with me getting out of the house sitting at a Starbucks and just being around people. I brought my laptop, my bible, something to still keep me doing something other than thinking about the anxiety. Than doing that for a couple months, I started asking friends to come with me. What a tremendous growth I had with just spending time with my brothers and sisters in Christ and just enjoying being a person next to them.
3. Finding a hobby that when you are at home alone, you have something to keep you distracted. Something that really helps me when I am having an anxiety attack is coloring while listening to music. My husband got me a coloring book that has a lot of detail in it so that I have to concentrate on what I am doing, really distract my mind. He also made a playlist on my phone so that I have it whenever I need it. Music that I can think about and feel the beat and breathe. One of my favorites is a singer named Dustin Kensrue and the album is called The Water and The Blood.
I will pray for you and I hope I could give you hope that things can get better. I am not perfect at controlling my anxiety but I have grown a lot in doing these things. All of course are suggestions and me trying to encourage you. Thank you for taking the time to read my long post. God Bless you and give you strength. You are loved and worthy of happiness and Peace.
