Potty Training Question - NEED HELP!!!!

[suzybeezy]

Okay, my son is 4 years old. He's done very well with going pee-pee in the potty. But he will not go poopy in the potty. I've tried bribery, encouragement, excitements, all I can think of. I wonder if he is really understanding what happens when he goes poopy, but I can't think of any better ways to explain it. This is frustrating me, but my other 3 children had no problems.

By the way, he doesn't have hard stools, because I originally thought maybe he wasn't going was because he was constipated. But he has no problem going poopy in his pants or pull-up, but never in the potty.

Anybody have any suggestions or ideas?

 

[CarrieAg93]

My son was the same way. With him it was because he didn't want to take time out form what he was doing to sit on the toliet. We finally just started taking away whatever he was doing. If he was playing on the computer when he went poopy, no more computer for the day. We also just kept saying "Big boys poopy on the potty." He finally got it. Good luck.

 

[lucypevensie]

It is possible that he still just does not understand it. If so, then a little more tiem and understanding will go a long way in helping him be more confident.

Is he required to clean up his own accidents? I mean, just dump the accident in the toilet, flush, take off dirty underpants, put in laundry, wash up (bathe if necessary), wipe the floor, whatever else. Help where he needs help but he should do the work for the most part. Go back yourself later and do a more thorough job when he's not watching. All the fuss and bother of cleaning up might deter the accidents and help him to choose something not so inconvenient (and yucky - my own kids were very motivated by cleanup).

 

[blessedmomof5]

Hi, i have 5 girls never had a boy so, not to sure, but i was just a bit curious if he pee's in the potty, why is he still wearinf pullups? or diapers? he should be wearing BIG BOY underwear.....lol almost called em panties...lol
maybe if he realizes hes wearing underwear he will know he has to use the potty? just an idea......
Denise

 

[Princessperky]

DS refused to use the potty for poop for the longest time, he was used to using his muscles to get the work done while standing, sitting on a potty is a bit different!

We diaper train children for so long then want them to change, and we think it is easy, afterall we have been doing it for EONS, but it isn't that easy.try pooping standing up sometime, no idea what muscles to use? I wouldn't either, I poop on a potty like the rest of the adults! but that is essentially what we are asking our kids to do, switch form squatting or even sitting on a floor or standing to all of the sudden sitting over nothing, with feet tdangling in all liklyhood.

With DS we upped the incentives, and upped the 'punishments' I use that term losely. Punishment meaning we closed off any room he pooped in for the day, no room no toys (we have some toys in all rooms). We also cut out big boys stuff, he was younger so if it said 3 and up he didn't get it unless his last poo was in the potty. And we kept track of how many times he pooped each week, if he did it 5 times he got to go iceskating on Friday (any reward for the week would work I am sure)

He is now completly trained boith pee and poop and made it out of diapers before college

 

[suzybeezy]

why is he still wearinf pullups? or diapers? he should be wearing BIG BOY underwear.....lol almost called em panties...lol
maybe if he realizes hes wearing underwear he will know he has to use the potty? just an idea......
Denise

Well, we actually switch between underwear and pull-ups. We only usually use the pull-ups for outings or nighttime. He still doesn't wake up dry. And he doesn't have the control when we are out, so for convenience, I use the pull-ups. I wish I had the patience to stop that.

 

[dews]

When I was night-time toilet training my daughter, I would wake her up in the middle of the night to go to the potty. I also had a potty in her room. I trained my girls in underwear. Try giving no more pull-ups. Then if he has an accident in his underwear, don't scold him, but get him to help you clean it. Does he start school this year?

 

[bliz]

Natural consequences. He helps clean up any accidents. taking off the solied garment, flushing was needs to be flushed, washing out underware - invest in some anti-bacterial laundry soap - and then, he sits and waits by the dryer for his under pants to be dry. He does not go and get a clean pair. He waits until the soiled and washed pair are wearable and then he may go about his day.

No yelling. No fuss. A sympathetic manner... just the natural consequences of sioling one's pants. Natural consequences are very effective.

 

[BeachBlonde]

Hi, i have 5 girls never had a boy so, not to sure, but i was just a bit curious if he pee's in the potty, why is he still wearinf pullups? or diapers? he should be wearing BIG BOY underwear.....lol almost called em panties...lol
maybe if he realizes hes wearing underwear he will know he has to use the potty? just an idea......
Denise

Yes,good point and I had to do this with my one of my 4-5 year olds.I was sure she was stressed out because we had another 2 children under her.Sometimes they just need a little more time hon.Don't worry!!!!

 

[Mechwar]

Pullups give your child a false sense of security....meaning they can mess in them without worrying about what'll happen after that. Also if you're the type of people that have to have total privacy in the bathroom with no kids in there, that could be the type of encouragement they need. They see mom and dad doing it, and are willing to try. It sounds that he hasn't associated the need to poop with the need to sit on the pot.


Use things that will allow him to feel soiled. Kids don't like to stay wet or soiled for a period of time, and will learn. He'll need to learn to use the pot before he starts preschool.

 

[dews]

I like how you think bliz. Good answer!!

 

[CarrieAg93]

Well, we actually switch between underwear and pull-ups. We only usually use the pull-ups for outings or nighttime. He still doesn't wake up dry. And he doesn't have the control when we are out, so for convenience, I use the pull-ups. I wish I had the patience to stop that.

I don't think it's unreasonable to use pull-ups for outings and nighttime. That's how we did it. With outings there are sanitary issues involved for other people. The first outings we wore underwear to were friend's houses and the park. Places where if he wet or soiled his pants we weren't imposing on too much of the general public. We let him wear pull-ups at night until we noticed he was dry the majority of the time. Your son will get it eventually. Hang in there.

 

[isaiah5213]

a couple of things.. get out a blank calender, and get some stars.. give him a star everytime he poops in the potty... when he gets 5 stars, give him a reward...


another thing, when he poops, have the "cleaning up" be that he takes the poop and puts as much as he can in the toilet... this teaches him that poop goes in the toilet...

also, let him practice sitting on the toilet for long times... tell him, let him know, he doesn't have to push unless he wants to, but let him sit on the little potty and play w/his toy while he sits on the little potty.. then teach him how to take the little potty and put the poop in the big potty...let him do this until he gets used to pooping in the little potty, then move him to the big potty... (because of the trouble he has about pooping, he has to hold onto the toilet w/both hands on the big potty....

the taking the toy away, and the pc, etc, are excellent, if you realize that he does know, but he just doesn't want to do it..

but w/my son and potty training at all, that reward system was our a-1 worker!! he began to be proud of cleaning up the messes, and he felt like a big boy doing big boy things.. so him cleaning up his messes backfired on us... but of 8 kids, he was the only one it backfired on, so you have at least a 7/8 chance of it working for you...

 

[erin74]

A friend of mine had a problem with her son. He is very very strong willed. He would hold on all day until he got a nappy at night and would go then. So they started to put him to bed in undies and put a nappy on him after he was asleep - he was a very heavy sleeper. So he would wait and do a poo first thing in the morning. She would try to get him up before he went and get his nappy off him.

So he would go for days without doing a poo. He would beg for a nappy.

Eventually what she did was tell him one day that she couldn't give him a nappy cause 'daddy said I couldn't, and I don't want to get in trouble from daddy' - cruel but it worked. By the end of the day he had done it once, and then once he went once he was ok with it. She had tried the whole reward thing, and so reinforced him once he had done it.

Hope it works for you soon.

Erin