Post first date question (need inputs especially from guys)

[Lia]

Hey Guys,

How long does it usually take you to call a girl after your first date?

Have you ever told a girl that you were going to call her after your first date but you never did? Do you say that just to be polite and don't want to hurt the girl's feeling or you actually mean it but just haven't gotten a chance to call her yet?

Some of you know that I went on a big date last week and he said he was gonna call me this weekend but I haven't heard anything so far. He mentioned that he had a good time and appreciated me being there at his company's dinner. In addition, he suggested us to go to different places.. like we should see a movie sometimes or we should try that tea drink at Panera Bread or let me know if you want to visit that church, I'd go with you...etc...

I don't want to call him.. I mean if he's interested in me, he should make the efforts to ask me out again, right? I sent him an email after the date and I think that's good enough.

So back to the original questions... please discuss Thx!

 

[Sketcher]

Be patient, give him a week. If he hasn't called you by then, he probably won't.

 

[the_man]

Hey Guys,

How long does it usually take you to call a girl after your first date?

Have you ever told a girl that you were going to call her after your first date but you never did? Do you say that just to be polite and don't want to hurt the girl's feeling or you actually mean it but just haven't gotten a chance to call her yet?

Some of you know that I went on a big date last week and he said he was gonna call me this weekend but I haven't heard anything so far. He mentioned that he had a good time and appreciated me being there at his company's dinner. In addition, he suggested us to go to different places.. like we should see a movie sometimes or we should try that tea drink at Panera Bread or let me know if you want to visit that church, I'd go with you...etc...

I don't want to call him.. I mean if he's interested in me, he should make the efforts to ask me out again, right? I sent him an email after the date and I think that's good enough.

So back to the original questions... please discuss Thx!

I usually would wait a couple days. I usually don't tell a girl that I'd call if I didn't mean to. He talked about future dates, that can only be a good sign.

I personality think the email wasn't necessary.

 

[Lia]

I personality think the email wasn't necessary.

Well I sent the email just to express to him that I had a good time at the dinner though and I thanked him for inviting me.. nothing intimidating nor pressuring

 

[JiminyCricket]

Hey Guys,

How long does it usually take you to call a girl after your first date?

Have you ever told a girl that you were going to call her after your first date but you never did? Do you say that just to be polite and don't want to hurt the girl's feeling or you actually mean it but just haven't gotten a chance to call her yet?

So back to the original questions... please discuss Thx!

Do you think that deep down he has a lot of insecurities or not much experience dating women? I ask because a day or two after your date he may worry that you've forgotten about him or lost interest. Not that its your fault, its his, but you never know what's going on inside of other people.

To answer your questions...I usually wait about two to three days. On the other hand, two months ago, I got this girl's number that I liked and tried calling about three times. The first time, I couldn't get through so I left a message, but I said I'd call her back. The 2nd and 3rd time I couldn't get through and didn't leave a message. I got discouraged and gave up. Was I wrong to do that?

There have been a couple times that I said I'd call and never did. Yes, I wanted to be polite, but if I get a vibe that I didn't think she was interested in me and thought that she was just trying to be polite, I'd give up and not call back. It had nothing to do with her, I was just so affraid to get my hopes up just to have them dashed if she ever said, "oh, yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on." If you knew me personally, you'd never think I'd have those kind of insecurities...and I wouldn't want you to know so I cover that up as much as possible...except here cause y'all so supportive.

He might still call you back...no guy wants to look desperate. But, don't be so hard on yourself if he doesn't call back...you don't know what other people are going through inside that they cover up the best they can on the outside. Its very possible that it has nothing to do with you.

I do think its a good sign if he talked about future plans. Good luck, Lia, I'll be praying for you!

 

[Lia]

To answer your questions...I usually wait about two to three days. On the other hand, two months ago, I got this girl's number that I liked and tried calling about three times. The first time, I couldn't get through so I left a message, but I said I'd call her back. The 2nd and 3rd time I couldn't get through and didn't leave a message. I got discouraged and gave up. Was I wrong to do that?

You should've still called her if I were you. Who knows that she is actually still hoping that you'd call her, ya know? It took this guy a couple weeks to finally call me and ask me out for this dinner date. I thought he forgot about me already and he would never called... but then he called me out of nowhere and asked me out, I can't say that I wasn't excited

There have been a couple times that I said I'd call and never did. Yes, I wanted to be polite, but if I get a vibe that I didn't think she was interested in me and thought that she was just trying to be polite, I'd give up and not call back. It had nothing to do with her, I was just so affraid to get my hopes up just to have them dashed if she ever said, "oh, yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on." If you knew me personally, you'd never think I'd have those kind of insecurities...and I wouldn't want you to know so I cover that up as much as possible...except here cause y'all so supportive.

Ha...very interesting. Well, thanks for sharing that with us here

I do think its a good sign if he talked about future plans. Good luck, Lia, I'll be praying for you!

Thanks Jiminy! I'm trusting God's sovereignty after all. We'll see how it goes...

 

[JiminyCricket]

You should've still called her if I were you. Who knows that she is actually still hoping that you'd call her, ya know? It took this guy a couple weeks to finally call me and ask me out for this dinner date. I thought he forgot about me already and he would never called... but then he called me out of nowhere and asked me out, I can't say that I wasn't excited

I know. I live with lots of regrets of this nature, and I do feel guilty and wonder if I hurt her. I'm learning that I should always call. If she's not interested, then maybe I'll make her day by expressing interest. I'm 25 and just learning this.

Just remember that other guys may not see this the same way I do now. I hope my experience gives you a different perspective on the situation.

 

[Lia]

Just a little update to everyone who takes interest in my personal/love life!

Well, I talked with his sister in law who's also my friend (she's the one who set us up). There has been a miscommunication between me and him. He thought that I wasn't interested on him because I was kinda quiet at the dinner. I admit it that I could be kinda shy and a bit quiet around new people. And so does he. So, that being said, my friend told me to call him quick to highlight my interest to him. lol. I listened to her and did called him during lunch hour. He said he was glad I called and he mentioned once again that he had a great time at the dinner As a result, he asked me out on a date again this coming Saturday. Yay!

 

[JeremiahJ]

Let that be a lesson to you girls. Not every guy is going to call you back even if he likes you. Some of us have a difficult time discerning whether a girl enjoys us or is just being nice in saying she had fun. We sometimes need some forward motion from you to get our pursuing engines going at a pace where you don't have to move anymore, just be sought.

 

[Lia]

Let that be a lesson to you girls. Not every guy is going to call you back even if he likes you. Some of us have a difficult time discerning whether a girl enjoys us or is just being nice in saying she had fun. We sometimes need some forward motion from you to get our pursuing engines going at a pace where you don't have to move anymore, just be sought.

hmm okay (smile)... it makes more sense to me now

 

[RefinedByFire]

Rule of thumb: If a guy says he'll call you back tomorrow, he really meant Wednesday.

/slight tongue-in-cheek.

 

[JPPT1974]

Let that be a lesson to you girls. Not every guy is going to call you back even if he likes you. Some of us have a difficult time discerning whether a girl enjoys us or is just being nice in saying she had fun. We sometimes need some forward motion from you to get our pursuing engines going at a pace where you don't have to move anymore, just be sought.

Some are shy indeed as well as afraid to show emotions and want to be sometime the macho time.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

The way I see it, if someone doesn't call you back, they either had a good reason or a stupid reason.

Good reasons are: They don't like you, they're married, they realized you're out of their league, they're moving to another country, they're gay and they were seeing how the other half lives, etc.

Stupid reasons are: They like to play games, it makes them feel good to know you're wondering if they'll call, they lost your number, they want you to chase them, etc.

The way I see it, I don't care if their reasons are good or stupid, if they say they'll call and they don't, move on, don't sweat it, they've got their own problems to work out and when they come to their senses they'll call.

Just not worth wasting time worrying about it IMO. If they're going to call, they'll call. If they're not going to call, there's nothing to get all worked up about. For all you know the guy might show up on your doorstep next week wearing a T-shirt that says "I was drugged and left for dead in Mexico and all I got was this stinkin shirt."

But until that happens, go on with your life and don't worry about the stuff you can't control.

 

[bostonlass]

Just a little update to everyone who takes interest in my personal/love life!

Well, I talked with his sister in law who's also my friend (she's the one who set us up). There has been a miscommunication between me and him. He thought that I wasn't interested on him because I was kinda quiet at the dinner. I admit it that I could be kinda shy and a bit quiet around new people. And so does he. So, that being said, my friend told me to call him quick to highlight my interest to him. lol. I listened to her and did called him during lunch hour. He said he was glad I called and he mentioned once again that he had a great time at the dinner As a result, he asked me out on a date again this coming Saturday. Yay!