Post Divorce...follow-up

[Serving4Christ]

For those who have followed my earlier posts, I thank you. Life these past couple years have greatly opened my heart. I seek prayer for a hardened heart though.

Today, 8 months post-divorce and 1-year/3 months full custody of our 3 children, we had the final court hearing to determine if I can take the children out of the state. I'm military in the USAF and I'm being tranferred to California.

The ruling came down with my ex-wife receiving the month of July and Christmas break with the kiddies. Although I would have liked to seen her get more, the ball was really in her court. Had she followed the court orders and did what was in the best-interest of our kids, she would have summers completely, christmas and spring break.

I won the case, but really I lost . No one in their right mind would want to see the mother of your children treat her kids the way they've been treated. No one in their right mind would want their kids to feel abandoned by their mother. She didn't even put up a fight. She showed up to court late.

I've had all overnights with the kids since 14 February 2005. I need prayer because after seeing everything she's done to our kids and continues to do...including recently breaking up a marriage of a 30 years after an affair with the husband...she got a job at one of the biggest non-denominational churches around here. Her position is hospitality coordinator.

I have very strong mixed feelings about this and know I shouldn't. Part of me is angry. Part of me is confused. Part of me is questioning faith. Please pray that my heart weakens and opens up again to hear love speak and not anger.

 

[Godisgr8r]

It is very understandable that you are angry right now. You have a reason to be. It will probably take some time for you to get over the anger. I know it took me a while. It sounds to me like even though your ex-wife has practically abandoned her childen, you are providing them with a stable loving home. That means alot. They will have issues with that eventually that she will have to answer for. My ex-husband has pretty much disowned our two oldest children and will only talk to our son. You have to be the voice of reason for them. God will bless you for being there for them.

 

[Autumnleaf]

I need prayer because after seeing everything she's done to our kids and continues to do...including recently breaking up a marriage of a 30 years after an affair with the husband...she got a job at one of the biggest non-denominational churches around here. Her position is hospitality coordinator.

I have very strong mixed feelings about this and know I shouldn't. Part of me is angry. Part of me is confused. Part of me is questioning faith. Please pray that my heart weakens and opens up again to hear love speak and not anger.

You might want to fill in the Church on the moral conduct of who they hired. If she is a homewrecker and a poor mother she probably has no business working at a church.

 

[madison1101]

Although she is your ex, you can still pray for her as the mother of your children. Her heart has obviously turned away from God's Truth concerning her role as a Christian mother.

I pray for my ex regularly. In Ephesians 3 Paul prays for the Ephesians that they would grow in the inner man. I pray that for my ex and my sons. I praise the Lord that though my ex had a hostile relationship with one of my kids, they have resolved that. My ex waited till my kids were all adults before leaving.

As for your ex, you may want to contact the church in which she works to meet with the pastor to discuss these concerns. I spoke with the pastor of my ex's church when he was travelling with his girlfriend after leaving me. Just a suggestion.

God bless you as you raise your children. Prayer is a powerful thing.

 

[Serving4Christ]

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. Sometimes the obvious is so overlooked. Prayer is something i really need to get back to more then what I do now.

It's difficult sometimes with everything that's gone on.

I'm realy looking forward to moving to my new base. I'm looking forward to getting surrounded in the fellowship of a new church, new friends, new neighbors, and a new outlook. This by far, has had to be the toughest year of my life. But the beauty of it all is when I look back...I see it wasn't by my own strength that got me through. Had it been mine, I wouldn't be here to tell you about it.

Thank you.

 

[Chrystal-J]

So sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm always stunned and saddened when a parent just tosses his or her children away like nothing. What could possibly be greater than being a daily influence on your children's lives?
God is good and He will carry you through this. You will see the fruit of your good deeds later in life when your children are adults and are living a Godly life. And, sadly, your ex will see the seeds she has planted grow into a painful mess if she doesn't change her ways. (I've seen it happen, and it isn't pretty.)
I pray for my ex too and I hope that someday he turns to Christ. He lived for himself and himself alone for years and now he has no-one, as people faded out of his life due to his self-centeredness. He sits alone and has many health problems due to his abuse of alcohol and smoking. I do pray for him, but he has to want to change (as does your ex). I sure hope that one day soon, they both change.
Take Care and may your life be greatly blessed.
C J