inappropriate content on the brain

[AvgJoe]

That is all true, but what does a single guy do when nature makes it's call?

If you can't use inappropriate content, or you can't have sex outside of marriage.

Then what?

Marry just for sex, and not burn with lust.

That's pretty close to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 (NLT),

2) But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3) The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4) The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5) Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.​

And as for quitting inappropriate content, as I'm sure you know, it ain't easy. Science has shown that the underlying nature of an addiction to inappropriate contentography is chemically, nearly identical, to a heroin addiction. One way is to use a inappropriate content blocker/filter on all of your devices; phone, desktop, tablet, etc. One good one is~~~> K9 Web Protection .

The secret to success with one of these filters is, you've got to have an accountability partner, a close friend or family member that you'd be completely embarrassed and shamed if they knew you were looking at inappropriate content. These filters, when setup correctly, will send an email to your accountability partner, if you try to access any websites or content that are blocked, showing the web addresses of the website/s. Your accountability partner does have a part in setting up the filter, expressly, the password to access the filtering software, so that you can't go in there and turn off the filtering program. If you're serious about quitting, this is one good way to go about it.

 

[Larniavc]

I can't stop looking at inappropriate content, it's cheaper than dating and safer than a condom.

That being said, it's not a healthy alterative. If only I could be with the girl I'm so in love with.

Well, it's not going to do you any direct harm but if you don't address the issue that stops you from getting out and starting dating you're possibly going to be looking at it for a long time.

On your own.

 

[Greg J.]

Por-nography always causes massive harm. It is the process of seeing someone or something that one believes can satisfy an emptiness/pain/ache he has, then reacting in such a way that his ache is satisfied—and having the connection between the two reinforced by pleasure. It is a way to reprogram one's nature with deep deception—who he is and how he reacts to things changes (the same for any addiction).

He is transformed into a person who seeks altered reality to keep the pain away (what people consider normal includes a lot of pain, although the truth will set one free). But repetition makes the fantasies and behaviors go stale, so he seeks deeper fantasies to maintain the pleasure he needs to keep the emptiness away. Fantasizing about sex with a girl (without por-) -> photo por-n -> video por-n -> even worse things.

One severe consequence is how one perceives one's present or future spouse and what kind of expectations he has. There are subcultures where every level of depth has become acceptable and so many people are a part of it that it is "normal." (You may never watch TV, movies, or read news the same way again.)

The problem with this is that if the behavior is a sin, it trains a person that something evil is good (pleasurable). Worse yet, it trains people to question whether what is called good is really a positive thing and whether evil is actually a bad thing.

Whether the behavior is a sin or not, it will still reprogram a person so that they try to deal with reality through a lens of fantasy (which often fails and results in pain). It will affect every area of a person's life, such as their priorities, especially how one views other people—as potential sources of pleasure rather than as humans with hopes, dreams, conflicts, pain, and abrasive/unpleasant qualities. The kind of "love" for another person they can have turns into hope of what pleasure the other person may provide.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, (Matthew 24:12, 1984 NIV)

What can end up stopping the cycle is greater pain (that one can't stop) than the pain of not feeding the addiction ("hitting bottom"), such as fear of death or physical damage (or fear of Judgment).

But none of all that has anything to do with the kind of pure love God grants (some through a spouse). God's kind of love programs a person to connect love with experiences of kindness, tolerance, patience, sacrifice, faithfulness, pleasure, etc.—in other words, the attributes of real love!

 

[fishyjoe]

That's pretty close to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 (NLT),

2) But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3) The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4) The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5) Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.​

And as for quitting inappropriate content, as I'm sure you know, it ain't easy. Science has shown that the underlying nature of an addiction to inappropriate contentography is chemically, nearly identical, to a heroin addiction. One way is to use a inappropriate content blocker/filter on all of your devices; phone, desktop, tablet, etc. One good one is~~~> K9 Web Protection .

The secret to success with one of these filters is, you've got to have an accountability partner, a close friend or family member that you'd be completely embarrassed and shamed if they knew you were looking at inappropriate content. These filters, when setup correctly, will send an email to your accountability partner, if you try to access any websites or content that are blocked, showing the web addresses of the website/s. Your accountability partner does have a part in setting up the filter, expressly, the password to access the filtering software, so that you can't go in there and turn off the filtering program. If you're serious about quitting, this is one good way to go about it.

Yes I know, that's the bible statement I was referring to.

 

[fishyjoe]

Well, it's not going to do you any direct harm but if you don't address the issue that stops you from getting out and starting dating you're possibly going to be looking at it for a long time.

On your own.

When paul said "It's better to be single for God." How did propose to deal with sexual uges?

 

[fishyjoe]

inappropriate contentography always causes massive harm. It is the process of seeing someone or something that one believes can satisfy an emptiness/pain/ache he has, then reacting in such a way that his ache is satisfied—and having the connection between the two reinforced by pleasure. It is a way to reprogram one's nature with deep deception—who he is and how he reacts to things changes (the same for any addiction).

He is transformed into a person who seeks altered reality to keep the pain away (what people consider normal includes a lot of pain, although the truth will set one free). But repetition makes the fantasies and behaviors go stale, so he seeks deeper fantasies to maintain the pleasure he needs to keep the emptiness away. Fantasizing about sex with a girl (without inappropriate content) -> photo inappropriate content -> video inappropriate content -> even worse things.

One severe consequence is how one perceives one's present or future spouse and what kind of expectations he has. There are subcultures where every level of depth has become acceptable and so many people are a part of it that it is "normal." (You may never watch TV, movies, or read news the same way again.)

The problem with this is that if the behavior is a sin, it trains a person that something evil is good (pleasurable). Worse yet, it trains people to question whether what is called good is really a positive thing and whether evil is actually a bad thing.

Whether the behavior is a sin or not, it will still reprogram a person so that they try to deal with reality through a lens of fantasy (which often fails and results in pain). It will affect every area of a person's life, such as their priorities, especially how one views other people—as potential sources of pleasure rather than as humans with hopes, dreams, conflicts, pain, and abrasive/unpleasant qualities. The kind of "love" for another person they can have turns into hope of what pleasure the other person may provide.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, (Matthew 24:12, 1984 NIV)

What can end up stopping the cycle is greater pain (that one can't stop) than the pain of not feeding the addiction ("hitting bottom"), such as fear of death or physical damage (or fear of Judgment).

But none of all that has anything to do with the kind of pure love God grants (some through a spouse). God's kind of love programs a person to connect love with experiences of kindness, tolerance, patience, sacrifice, faithfulness, pleasure, etc.—in other words, the attributes of real love!

So what exactly is the solution?

I've done everything anyone can think of when it comes to dealing with porm addiction.

Nothing works for me, and thats not fine.

 

[Greg J.]

You need to eject the thoughts before they they turn into something you can't stop. There's no way around this.

Doing so is tormenting and so requires a gravely serious decision to stop, and to recognize it is going to be a long fight—a way of life for some years. I'm not any type of counselor, but with what little I know, I'd suggest looking into a inappropriate content 12 Step program. I haven't run across one before, but there's definitely a lot of inappropriate content support groups around for people trying to stop. I'd also look into a psychologists/therapist who helps people regain control from addicting behavior.

Any progress you make is a good thing—as in, if you can stop for a couple weeks, but then fall, it will still affect you positively, although it may take a long time to see it. You have to start again, and keep starting again. The more serious your commitment, the faster you will see success. (Don't "stop til next time"; stop forever) Eventually (it may take years) the fight will get easier and easier (which may make you overconfident of your ability to handle it). Your rejection of the thoughts when they first show up is a lifetime thing.

It is really valuable to recognize that you never forget whatever you see and hear. Don't allow anything into your eyes and memory that you don't want coming back to you over and over. It means stopping seeing and hearing anything that is kinda inappropriate contentographic. It means closing your eyes for some scenes in even PG and PG-13 movies.

Also be aware that some of the power of inappropriate content is not exactly what you see, it is in the fact that you fantasize how the person will respond to you. You can learn to see that people actually don't react that way (they're usually too focus on themselves and their lives). A picture of a pretty girl smiling at you can be a trigger for inappropriate content thinking. inappropriate content is a false method for satisfying emptiness (the "God-shaped vacuum") that is supposed to contain genuine love. A smile can have the power of fake love, which is difficult to resist.

It may be impossible, but I'll mention that avoiding media altogether helps, because sexy people are the norm for advertising, movies, and TV shows. Compare how attractive the people are in those to the people you see on the street. Who's on the street is real life. Who is in advertisements is a lie of what people are actually like. I think it is beneficial to see some photos of sexy people when they are caught unaware and in an unpresentable state when they're photographed (messed hair, no makeup, in dirty clothes, angry, throwing up from being drunk).

Another self-programming thing is to try get to know people instead of just look at them. Eventually you'll see the truth that beauty comes from within. (At first, that inner ugliness overrides how outwardly attractive they are.)

 

[fishyjoe]

You need to eject the thoughts before they they turn into something you can't stop. There's no way around this.

Doing so is tormenting and so requires a gravely serious decision to stop, and to recognize it is going to be a long fight—a way of life for some years. I'm not any type of counselor, but with what little I know, I'd suggest looking into a inappropriate content 12 Step program. I haven't run across one before, but there's definitely a lot of inappropriate content support groups around for people trying to stop. I'd also look into a psychologists/therapist who helps people regain control from addicting behavior.

Any progress you make is a good thing—as in, if you can stop for a couple weeks, but then fall, it will still affect you positively, although it may take a long time to see it. You have to start again, and keep starting again. The more serious your commitment, the faster you will see success. (Don't "stop til next time"; stop forever) Eventually (it may take years) the fight will get easier and easier (which may make you overconfident of your ability to handle it). Your rejection of the thoughts when they first show up is a lifetime thing.

It is really valuable to recognize that you never forget whatever you see and hear. Don't allow anything into your eyes and memory that you don't want coming back to you over and over. It means stopping seeing and hearing anything that is kinda inappropriate contentographic. It means closing your eyes for some scenes in even PG and PG-13 movies.

Also be aware that some of the power of inappropriate content is not exactly what you see, it is in the fact that you fantasize how the person will respond to you. You can learn to see that people actually don't react that way (they're usually too focus on themselves and their lives). A picture of a pretty girl smiling at you can be a trigger for inappropriate content thinking. inappropriate content is a false method for satisfying emptiness (the "God-shaped vacuum") that is supposed to contain genuine love. A smile can have the power of fake love, which is difficult to resist.

It may be impossible, but I'll mention that avoiding media altogether helps, because sexy people are the norm for advertising, movies, and TV shows. Compare how attractive the people are in those to the people you see on the street. Who's on the street is real life. Who is in advertisements is a lie of what people are actually like. I think it is beneficial to see some photos of sexy people when they are caught unaware and in an unpresentable state when they're photographed (messed hair, no makeup, in dirty clothes, angry, throwing up from being drunk).

Another self-programming thing is to try get to know people instead of just look at them. Eventually you'll see the truth that beauty comes from within. (At first, that inner ugliness overrides how outwardly attractive they are.)

Just like Big macs.

Funny how you've got to walk a thousand miles to seek help, while Jesus supposedly can heal you in a nano second (Without the foot work)

But he still gets the credit, when you've put all the effort in.

What about any of you, you have the right faith, right? Can healing someones addiction be done for you.

That would give Jesus a far bit of creditability.

 

[Greg J.]

Yes, he does. But it is he who decides who and when. You can ask him, though.

 

[fishyjoe]

Yes, he does. But it is he who decides who and when. You can ask him, though.

Don't think I haven't.

 

[Greg J.]

He responds to faith, faithfulness, commitment and devotion to him, something that people can't do if they don't believe in him, or if they believe, haven't accepted him as their God. Upon occasion he responds to an unbeliever's prayer, but I've only heard of it when a person is already at the edge of believing in him and committing to him.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. (Matthew 22:36-38, 1984 NIV)

From a spiritual point of view, all non-Christians are in a state of rejecting him (mostly as a result of the all the sin in the history of the world up to now). Even after being saved, it is normal for Christians to not feel saved until they have been obedient to him for some years. Taking obedience seriously is the path for everyone to know God (or know him better for Christians).

The attitude to have is to be willing to accept whatever the Lord decides for you. But you can ask and keep asking, in fact, we are commanded to.

 

[fishyjoe]

He responds to faith, faithfulness, commitment and devotion to him, something that people can't do if they don't believe in him, or if they believe, haven't accepted him as their God. Upon occasion he responds to an unbeliever's prayer, but I've only heard of it when a person is already at the edge of believing in him and committing to him.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. (Matthew 22:36-38, 1984 NIV)

From a spiritual point of view, all non-Christians are in a state of rejecting him (mostly as a result of the all the sin in the history of the world up to now). Even after being saved, it is normal for Christians to not feel saved until they have been obedient to him for some years. Taking obedience seriously is the path for everyone to know God (or know him better for Christians).

The attitude to have is to be willing to accept whatever the Lord decides for you. But you can ask and keep asking, in fact, we are commanded to.

That's your solution, keep praying, keep asking, be obedient.

Don't think I haven't done that.

 

[Larniavc]

When paul said "It's better to be single for God." How did propose to deal with sexual uges?

Masturbating?

 

[fishyjoe]

Masturbating?

That's one way, how about concubines? Seemed to be ok for men like David.

 

[fishyjoe]

I don't get this morbid fascination with the sanctity of marriage Christians have.

There are no wedding vows or rights found in the bible, except for Adam and Eve.
Which God was present when those two eloped, it's not like they had a choice.

From the old testament polygamist relationships, to new testament monogamous marriage we non'z get lumped with your loopy bible laws.

 

[fishyjoe]

And here's another thing, you all know so well the chemical dangers of inappropriate content on the brain. But what about other chemical reactors on the brain, like sugar or chocolate. You all know damn well that sugar energy is toxic at high levels and chocolate releases pleasure endorphins (Like the sex gland's) But you can't help stuffing your kids full of it.

And you wonder why they turn out like me.

 

[Greg J.]

But he still gets the credit, when you've put all the effort in.

Hardly. All effort to do what God wants earns great reward, even more so the more difficult or painful it is. People choose to (genuinely) give Jesus the credit when they have observed how powerless they are without God. We need him to draw every single breath. In this world, the consequences of sin is death even without God judging someone (Romans 5:13-14). It is only by his grace that we physically live. Some people begin to see that for themselves.

That's your solution, keep praying, keep asking, be obedient.

Don't think I haven't done that.

I assumed you weren't Christian since your faith is labeled as "seeker." It's not an exchange program. You commit to God to do what he wants without expecting anything back. Because of who he is, you can trust he will grant many blessings, but what and when is up to him. That's what it means to accept Jesus as your Lord and to entrust yourself to him. To place conditions on it means that you aren't really ready to accept him as your god.

It is pretty common for Christians to ask for one thing and get something else, and one day are able to look back and understand why God didn't give them what they wanted. The best reason that I know of to stick with the Lord is because of what Christians say their experience of God is in similar situations. I've only known two people in my whole life who seemed to regularly make up stories to comfort themselves (and they weren't Christians).

When paul said "It's better to be single for God." How did propose to deal with sexual uges?

It gets easier and easier (and eventually "easy") to choose to not to respond to sexual urges for those that are fully devoted to Jesus from their hearts. If that seems "impossible," it just shows how much widespread slavery to sin there is and how it is considered normal. One of God's main goals for his children on earth is to set them free from the control of everything. This especially includes what appears to be "slavery" to God's will.

And here's another thing, you all know so well the chemical dangers of inappropriate content on the brain. But what about other chemical reactors on the brain, like sugar or chocolate. You all know damn well that sugar energy is toxic at high levels and chocolate releases pleasure endorphins (Like the sex gland's) But you can't help stuffing your kids full of it.

And you wonder why they turn out like me.

Yup. In the U.S. at least, raising children has become slavery to children. It wasn't that way 40+ years ago. Without cultural support (which there isn't much of any more), it's unavoidable for those have not been devoted to Jesus for some years. (Of course there are exceptions.)

 

[fishyjoe]

Hardly. All effort to do what God wants earns great reward, even more so the more difficult or painful it is. People choose to (genuinely) give Jesus the credit when they have observed how powerless they are without God. We need him to draw every single breath. In this world, the consequences of sin is death even without God judging someone (Romans 5:13-14). It is only by his grace that we physically live. Some people begin to see that for themselves.

I assumed you weren't Christian since your faith is labeled as "seeker." It's not an exchange program. You commit to God to do what he wants without expecting anything back. Because of who he is, you can trust he will grant many blessings, but what and when is up to him. That's what it means to accept Jesus as your Lord and to entrust yourself to him. To place conditions on it means that you aren't really ready to accept him as your god.

It is pretty common for Christians to ask for one thing and get something else, and one day are able to look back and understand why God didn't give them what they wanted. The best reason that I know of to stick with the Lord is because of what Christians say their experience of God is in similar situations. I've only known two people in my whole life who seemed to regularly make up stories to comfort themselves (and they weren't Christians).

It gets easier and easier (and eventually "easy") to choose to not to respond to sexual urges for those that are fully devoted to Jesus from their hearts. If that seems "impossible," it just shows how much widespread slavery to sin there is and how it is considered normal. One of God's main goals for his children on earth is to set them free from the control of everything. This especially includes what appears to be "slavery" to God's will.

Yup. In the U.S. at least, raising children has become slavery to children. It wasn't that way 40+ years ago. Without cultural support (which there isn't much of any more), it's unavoidable for those have not been devoted to Jesus for some years. (Of course there are exceptions.)

Well then "To hell with me"

 

[cloudyday2]

@fishyjoe , I hope you find a solution that works for you. I read a good book on sexual addiction called "Out of the Shadows" ( Out of the Shadows )

Everybody is different, so the answer for me may not be the answer for you. I haven't found an answer for me, and I am 50 years old now LOL. Addiction to inappropriate content is one of many problems I have that have all cooperated to make life difficult. Again, it's different for everybody, so who knows what will work best for you.

 

[Greg J.]

Well then "To hell with me"

To me this means you want pain relief, but don't want God to be your God. You want him to do what you want, instead of accepting him as he is. If we made our choice to follow God based on how much short-term relief we could get, then we wouldn't actually be choosing (or trusting) him; we'd be trying to use him. A person who is used by another person discovers it makes them feel worthless, rejected, and means the other had no basic respect for the person at all. God will not be a party to helping the other do such awful things.

We all want pain relief, but whenever we get it (in this life), something else will be waiting. There's no complete escape in this life. Having said that, the way for pain to mostly go away in this life is for the Lord to make a person strong (which he does for those who are faithful to him).

We either go through the pains of life with hope in God and his promises or we go through the pains of life without it. With faithfulness to God we come to complete assurance that the pain is temporary. Without God the pain is not temporary. This makes a huge difference in how we handle pain. It's the difference between pain+hope and pain+despair. The latter is far darker, draining, and destructive.

Because God loves us intensely, he will bless us in greater ways we know to ask for, but in his own way in his own time.