Brothers and sisters,
Please agree with me again about a broken relationship. I scared and drove this man away again with my bipolar communications with him.
We live hundreds of miles away from each other and were maintaining a beautiful relationship via the Internet and the telephone and then we met in the physical last month and we had a wonderful time together. We had chemistry and a wonderful time. It was so natural, like we knew each other for years.
I miss him terribly. But I just can't keep my mouth shut. I am so fearful and insecrure; I try to be in control; and I keep explaining and apologizing for every single thing I say. These are emails I send him.
I act like a neurotic cuckoo bird. He finally decided enough was enough, especially after I explained and described the bipolar episodes he's actually seen in me through my letters to him since February. I haven't heard from him since the beginning of October. His patience finallly ended. I don't think I will hear from him without God's intervention.
What man wants to deal with this kind of baggage? But I know he was interested and had feelings. I can't keep writing because it makes it worse.
The visit itself went great, except for a few things that were not perfect. So it was afterwards I sent letters freaking out about all the things that I didn't do right. My house was an absolute disaster; I didn't have directions printed out to the museums we wanted to visit; I had been in an accident before he came and my cheek was bruised and swollen; I tried to make him jealous... other things. He never said anything about any of it.
He was in contact afterwards but I continued to explain and obsess. And I described my manic and depressed episodes after our visit because I stopped my meds weeks prior except 25-50 mg of Lamictal. I thought I had been healed but I wasn't.
Anyway, I'm asking God to work in his heart and help him to know how to deal with me and all this bipolar stuff, and how to respond to me. He is not yet a committed Christian, but is open. This is the man I want to share my life with.
I am praying for peace, patience and wisdom for myself.
I'm trying to give it all to Jesus. But I'm so afraid I'll never hear from him again.
Please pray for Andreas that he will seek out Jesus Christ and come into a saving relationship with him.
Pray the Holy Spirit will soften his heart toward me and put a love in his heart for me... or stir up, multiply and bless what was once there. Pray He will restore his interest and our relationship even better than it ever was before... all for the praise and glory of His Name because only God can change and turn his heart around again.
In Jesus Name.
Thank you.
Please agree with me again about a broken relationship. I scared and drove this man away again with my bipolar communications with him.
We live hundreds of miles away from each other and were maintaining a beautiful relationship via the Internet and the telephone and then we met in the physical last month and we had a wonderful time together. We had chemistry and a wonderful time. It was so natural, like we knew each other for years.
I miss him terribly. But I just can't keep my mouth shut. I am so fearful and insecrure; I try to be in control; and I keep explaining and apologizing for every single thing I say. These are emails I send him.
I act like a neurotic cuckoo bird. He finally decided enough was enough, especially after I explained and described the bipolar episodes he's actually seen in me through my letters to him since February. I haven't heard from him since the beginning of October. His patience finallly ended. I don't think I will hear from him without God's intervention.
What man wants to deal with this kind of baggage? But I know he was interested and had feelings. I can't keep writing because it makes it worse.
The visit itself went great, except for a few things that were not perfect. So it was afterwards I sent letters freaking out about all the things that I didn't do right. My house was an absolute disaster; I didn't have directions printed out to the museums we wanted to visit; I had been in an accident before he came and my cheek was bruised and swollen; I tried to make him jealous... other things. He never said anything about any of it.
He was in contact afterwards but I continued to explain and obsess. And I described my manic and depressed episodes after our visit because I stopped my meds weeks prior except 25-50 mg of Lamictal. I thought I had been healed but I wasn't.
Anyway, I'm asking God to work in his heart and help him to know how to deal with me and all this bipolar stuff, and how to respond to me. He is not yet a committed Christian, but is open. This is the man I want to share my life with.
I am praying for peace, patience and wisdom for myself.
I'm trying to give it all to Jesus. But I'm so afraid I'll never hear from him again.Please pray for Andreas that he will seek out Jesus Christ and come into a saving relationship with him.
Pray the Holy Spirit will soften his heart toward me and put a love in his heart for me... or stir up, multiply and bless what was once there. Pray He will restore his interest and our relationship even better than it ever was before... all for the praise and glory of His Name because only God can change and turn his heart around again.
In Jesus Name. Thank you.
