Hi!
I belonged for many years to religion and then left for many reasons, like I didn't belive that there's only one truth and salvation, I felt that I lost my identity and because it was forbidden to date someone that wasn't in the same religion... So when I left the religion I had no romantic and sexual experience and looked for it desesperatly. I had sex with two different guys. With the first one I thought he cared for me... He just lied. And the second one I knew he just wanted sex from me, but I liked him and agree to be with him... But I developed romantic feelings to him, so I thought, and he was so cold to me... So I left him. I felt a huge guilt about what I did and I'm still praying to God for forgiveness. I didn't repeat the experience with none, although I've had oportunities to do it.
Now I'm waiting for someone for a romantic relationship. I would like to wait for sex until marriage, I know that God's advice is just for our protection. But I don't know honestly if I can wait if that person appears, because of my desire and because maybe my future boyfriend won't agree to wait. I also think about death... When I belonged to the religion, I used to think in the promise of the new world, but now I don't know if I'll have the bless to see it. So I think that propably I will die, so then I ask myself, why should I wait until marriage and why should I wait for a boyfriend? Do you understand me? Any advice please?
Another question I would like to ask... Maybe this sounds ironic... When I see that people have sexual encounters with anyone, being unfaithful to their partners or just for fun I really feel hurt... For example: Last week I went to a party with my brother's friends. One of them flirted with me, but I got distance from him to see what he really wants. But when he say that I won't give him things easyly he looked for someone else and took her to his bedroom... I really felt hurt and cried... I know that I felt hurt because of his rejection, but I also feel hurt when I see that someone is cheating on their partner... do you feel the same way? I think that maybe I just want to "have fun" to gain social acceptance and don't feel this pain and don't struggle any more... Any thoughts?
Thanks in advance,
Dani_Dancer
I belonged for many years to religion and then left for many reasons, like I didn't belive that there's only one truth and salvation, I felt that I lost my identity and because it was forbidden to date someone that wasn't in the same religion... So when I left the religion I had no romantic and sexual experience and looked for it desesperatly. I had sex with two different guys. With the first one I thought he cared for me... He just lied. And the second one I knew he just wanted sex from me, but I liked him and agree to be with him... But I developed romantic feelings to him, so I thought, and he was so cold to me... So I left him. I felt a huge guilt about what I did and I'm still praying to God for forgiveness. I didn't repeat the experience with none, although I've had oportunities to do it.
Now I'm waiting for someone for a romantic relationship. I would like to wait for sex until marriage, I know that God's advice is just for our protection. But I don't know honestly if I can wait if that person appears, because of my desire and because maybe my future boyfriend won't agree to wait. I also think about death... When I belonged to the religion, I used to think in the promise of the new world, but now I don't know if I'll have the bless to see it. So I think that propably I will die, so then I ask myself, why should I wait until marriage and why should I wait for a boyfriend? Do you understand me? Any advice please?
Another question I would like to ask... Maybe this sounds ironic... When I see that people have sexual encounters with anyone, being unfaithful to their partners or just for fun I really feel hurt... For example: Last week I went to a party with my brother's friends. One of them flirted with me, but I got distance from him to see what he really wants. But when he say that I won't give him things easyly he looked for someone else and took her to his bedroom... I really felt hurt and cried... I know that I felt hurt because of his rejection, but I also feel hurt when I see that someone is cheating on their partner... do you feel the same way? I think that maybe I just want to "have fun" to gain social acceptance and don't feel this pain and don't struggle any more... Any thoughts?
Thanks in advance,
Dani_Dancer
