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Please help- teen problem

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rachaelnee

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Hi I really need some help- my mum died when I was 7 and my dad remarried. The thing is we didn't get on and there was lots of arguments and stuff. I have been living with my Dad and stepmum and sister for about 5 years now and me and my stepmum hardly speak. My sister gets on well with her and I feel that as I am nearly 18, I should start to get along with my stepmum but am really shy and don't know how to do this- can anyone help ?
 
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TheDag

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I have a friend whose mother died and was very resentful of people her dad went out with. If you have done anything that would damage the relationship then you need to own up and ask forgiveness. Rest assured God will forgive you. It would also be good if you told your stepmother you are sorry for your part in not getting on. I have found that when I've done that in similar situations that even if the person can't bring themselves to talk to me they have gained huge respect for me. Maybe in the future we might still become friends as healing for some can take time. I would hope that your stepmother would be gracious in this matter even if it is only out of love for your dad (although hopefully that isnh't her motivation).
 
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skipper

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If you are afraid of talking with her try writing to her. My daughter and I keep a letter journal we write to each other in it almost everyday. We set up rules and guidelines she can ask me or tell me anything no matter how bad there is no judgement we only work on problems to try and find solutions. Some days all we write in the book is how much we love and care for one another. My daughter is adopted so it's kind of simalar situations she has many questions that she is afraid to vocalize so writing it makes it easier.
 
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Pansy

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That is so good you want to try to improve the situation in your home. Realize your Dad deserves some happiness. I think the girls' day out idea is superb. Ask your step mum for some advice about an actual problem, and listen to her answer carefully and consider it genuinely. Thank her for it, and be polite always. It would be like a breath of fresh air for her.
 
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Cassiopeia

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My daughter has faced the same problem you are talking about. Is your stepmom open to spending some girl time with you? What are some of the things you know about her that are her favorite things?

I have always found it easier to talk to people I am shy with when I start out by focusing on them. People do like to talk about themselves for the most part...in a good way anyway.

I would recommend the two of you do something together that you would both enjoy. A walk, a movie...scrapbooking. Things like that.

I wish you the best
 
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rnrmachine

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THIS IS A WONDERFUL IDEA ME AND MY DAUGHTER SPEAK OPENLY ABOUT ANYTHING WE ARE LIKE BESTFRIENDS.. TRY TO TALK OR LIKE THE QUOTE WRITE HER A LETTER I BET YOU WILL BE SURPRISED AT THE OUT COME YOUR STEPMUM MAY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR A LONG TIME NOW.. GIVE HER A HUG AND TELL HER YOU LOVE HER AND THINGS WILL WORK OUT .. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.. GOD BLESS
 
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