My bipolar husband has just told me he doesnt know if he wants to be married anymore.We have a 5 yearold daughter.I am devastated and dont know where to turn. He is currently taking depakote but started a new very stressful job and thats when this all started. He says all i care about it our daughter and we live like room mates.I feel that can be fixed and its nothing that bad that he needs to leave.I dont know if its him talking or the bipolar.i am so scared and so alone.trying to keep it together for my daughter.He did this to me once when we were dating but he was on medication and he finally realized he was cycyling and we worked it out.If this were the bipolar wouldnt he know that?? someone please help me.
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please help me.
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madison1101
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Is your husband in therapy? I hope so. If he is, tell him you want to discuss his idea with him in his therapist's office. If he is not in therapy, he should be. Insist that he seek therapy, and that you will only discuss breaking up your marriage with a psychotherapist who has experience with bipolar patients.
It is his bipolar disorder talking. He will not be able to see what his illness is doing until he is more stable, and then it will be only in hindsight.
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Jer
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Ask him to take time to work things out, it probably is the bipolar causing it. I was not on medication (or diagnosed) at the time, but a few times when going out with my ex I had times where all my feelings just went and i completely didn't care about her. I stupidly told her and for me that was the beginning of the end. I actually know I love her but it's too late now. But it good you are aware he is bipolar, as you know it may not be 'him'. So take time.
And he may not want to listen, but see if he can change jobs. After my life for the last year I have seen a vicious cycle of stress caused by bad decisions resulting in more bad decisions and stress because of the increased cycling. But this could be hard as he might think things are/ will be ok anyway, with mania.
It's also hard to know if things are good to carry on, or end a relationship when being bipolar (at least when not on medicines) as it can go very quickly between the person being the love of your life or completely having no feelings and being disillusioned with it all. Talk with him, see if you can get out of the stress situations to let it calm down and see what his real feelings are. But it's hard if he's on a high and thinking things are ok.
And if you are able keep going with him and forgive. I have seen from the other side how hard it can be and really appreciated the caring and time from my ex, after all the messed up stuff I have done.
And he may not want to listen, but see if he can change jobs. After my life for the last year I have seen a vicious cycle of stress caused by bad decisions resulting in more bad decisions and stress because of the increased cycling. But this could be hard as he might think things are/ will be ok anyway, with mania.
It's also hard to know if things are good to carry on, or end a relationship when being bipolar (at least when not on medicines) as it can go very quickly between the person being the love of your life or completely having no feelings and being disillusioned with it all. Talk with him, see if you can get out of the stress situations to let it calm down and see what his real feelings are. But it's hard if he's on a high and thinking things are ok.
And if you are able keep going with him and forgive. I have seen from the other side how hard it can be and really appreciated the caring and time from my ex, after all the messed up stuff I have done.
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Thank you all for your replies.I can t help but wonder why he seems fine with his friends and our daughter but when he looks at me he seems as if he doesnt know me.He has been distant since the startof this new job.We were on vacation in april and everything was great.ould his meds have stopped working? Does he know when he is cycling??? i am so lost.thank u again.God bless
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Jer
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It's hard to know why it is 'only' you if that is the case. But maybe it is because he is putting on a face to other people in his life, and because they see him less it is easier? Especially to your daughter, he will probably try and protect her most of the time. This could result in all the problems being dumped on you. Not fair at all, but I have done it in the past.
He probably knows when he is cycling, at least once it's pointed out. But he may feel it is not a problem since the mania makes him falsely believe the way he sees them are real or right. From the little i know about medication it could be working, but is not strong enough once he starts cycling. Perhaps he needs something for now to help slow things down, and remove himself from stress to.
I'm praying for you. It's something that scares me a lot at the moment. Should I not marry because of the risk of so much hurt and pain. My dad is also bipolar (but refuses to be diagnosed) so I have seen just how much problems it is. I really want things to work out for you, and am praying.
He probably knows when he is cycling, at least once it's pointed out. But he may feel it is not a problem since the mania makes him falsely believe the way he sees them are real or right. From the little i know about medication it could be working, but is not strong enough once he starts cycling. Perhaps he needs something for now to help slow things down, and remove himself from stress to.
I'm praying for you. It's something that scares me a lot at the moment. Should I not marry because of the risk of so much hurt and pain. My dad is also bipolar (but refuses to be diagnosed) so I have seen just how much problems it is. I really want things to work out for you, and am praying.
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