Please Help Me

Medications can wreck havoc--please tell your dr what you're going through. It may be one medication, or maybe a combination. Tell the doc immediately!! I've seen perfectly normal people one day turn into very weird people the next because of meds. One day they are watching tv without any problem, the next they are seeing monsters, even the devil come out of the tv and trying to attack them. They even had to be restrained in their beds. Taken off the meds, they went back to normal. You may need to go to ER so they can monitor you while they take you off the meds.

Hi, I agree that you should tell your doctor that the medications are having negative effects on you (especially if you are having new symptoms you never had before the medication) and ask to try another medication. I am not a doctor and cannot say I know what is going on with you exactly. What I will say though, is that it sounds like most of this is OCD related. You said:

"Somehow or another, I started thinking that I am or will be schizophrenic, have multiple-personality disorder, and will lose my mind and harm my family without realizing it. I am horrified that I will be hospitalized for the rest of my life, or be a "drug zombie" and not maintain the great life that God has given me. I am HOPING and PRAYING that it's the medication, but I have been unable to sleep and so anxious at night, constantly thinking that i am hearing voices or being attacked by demons or something. I am TERRIFIED that i am losing my freaking mind. My level of anxiety and fear is so high that I just don't know what to do. My mind looks at every negative thing and tries to apply it to demons, or schizophrenia or something like that. I don't know what to do."

You obviously have very intense fears of some specific things you pointed out. It honestly seems like your OCD is just really spiking, which is why you are obsessing about every little negative thing, and worrying about developing a mental illness like schizophrenia or multiple personality disorder. It seems like it is your fear of mental illness and your OCD latching onto it that is the predominant issue. I have severe OCD, and I find the key to alleviating the symptoms and excessive fear is to stop ruminating on whatever your fear is. For example, you have a fear of becoming mentally ill to the point of being hospitalized for the rest of your life. That is a valid fear, and it would be normal to experience some anxiety over that. You have already experienced the anxiety, now you can move on. If you are still experiencing anxiety, you need to tell yourself to calm down and breathe slower, and since you have already experienced anxiety over this, you are now moving on. Go live your life (as you said you want to). Ignore the thoughts. With OCD, they may come, but your job is to ignore them whenever they pop up and refuse to ruminate on whether or not they have any credibility. The more you ruminate on them, the more you generate "what ifs" in your head, the more you obsess and feel fear, do things out of compulsion, and the more OCD overshadows and infiltrates almost everything you do and how you feel. Just drop this rumination. From this point, think of some things you can do that you would consider living your life. If and when an OCD thought pops up about your fears of mental illness while you are going about "living your life", ignore it, refuse to pay attention to it, and continue living your life. Keep going and resist any urges to look back and consider the thought. My compulsive behavior has been alleviated a lot by doing this. I win some OCD battles and I still lose some in terms of giving into intrusive thoughts, but, the OCD is becoming less severe, and I have been able to do things I was not able to do before.

Are you undergoing any type of CBT therapy? If not, you should seriously look into finding a therapist that specializes in CBT therapy for treating OCD. It can help lessen your OCD symptoms. Until you can find a cognitive behavioral therapist, I suggest checking out this website, with CBT therapy steps you can do right now that may be able to help:
Four Steps

God bless you. Will pray for you to gain some peace of mind.
______
Acts 22:16 "And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name"

Oh yes pleaseeeeee tell your doctor and google that med they have you on and see if responses come up of other people experiencing symptoms like yours. Always remember this: Before you let a doctor start you on a new medication ASK WHAT THE SYMPTOMS ARE!!! A lot of people make the mistake of just taking a medicine the doctor has prescribed and not reading up on it. I dont think I have ever had a doctor tell me symptoms before prescribing me to a medication. That is so important. I remember a doctor put my sister on some type of med when she was sick and she started seeing scary faces in the clouds and other places....scary yes!! Turns out that other people where experincing hallucinations as well from that same med. I will definitely pray for you hon. I know you are experiencing a lot. Im definitely here if you need to talk!!

Praying for you. Sounds like you are really battling right now. I have taken both Luvox and lexapro for OCD. Took Luvox for quite awhile. Finally found Paxil to be more effective for me personally. As I recall Luvox was fairly effective though.