I will say an example similar to my ocd just because to save myself from some ocd worries.
A guy has ocd. ocd tells him to go to a go-cart arena and do a specific compulsion. but ocd also tells him not to go to the go-card arena and do the compulsion.
ocd: do that compulsion on that place
ocd: do not do that the compulsion on that place cause you may have made an unwanted promise to God due to ocd.
the guys is in a dilemma and is dizzy from the ocd worries. he is going insane. his mind is foggy and is so anxious.
he tells God that he will do the compulsion and then never bother himself with it again. he also tell Him that he does not make promises but sometimes acts as if he made a promise just to trick ocd to leave him alone. he uses fake promises to God as an excuse to the ocd in order to leave him alone. for example, he tells ocd that he will do the compulsion but then never bother himself with it because he may have made a fast promise to God. sometimes, tries to trick ocd by telling it, that he may have asked a punishment in case he breaks the promise so he must do the compulsion now, in that go-cart arena, and then never bother himself with it because of a fake promise to God.
The problem is that guy, cannot remember if he was making the promise or if he was asking for a punishment in case of breaking it. he cant remember if he was just telling God that he will do an ocd compulsion and then that he will never bother himself with it again. he cant remember if he asked for a punishment in case of breaking it. he may have asked for a punishment in order to make the promise more scary to break it. that guy does not like making compulsion and is exchausted from the compulsion and ocd worries. so he says to his ocd that he wont do the compulsion second time, because he may have made a promise to God fake or not and he worries that he may be punished if he breaks the promise. so that makes ocd to stop telling him to do the compulsion second time. because the guy prefers not to do the compulsion second time (never bother himself with it again) and have ocd worries than breaking a maybe fake promise to God and be punished because he may have asked for a punishment in case breaking it.
He has told God that ocd tricks him and he does not want this. he does not make promises. he just sometimes has some thoughts in his head that relieve him and help him not doing an ocd compulsion. he has told God they are just fake promises in order to beat ocd. he told God if he really means a promise he will do the cross sign three times.
That day, he cant remember if made a real promise to God. or not. he cant remember if he asked for a punishment in case breaking it or not. he cant remember if he made the cross sign 3 times or not. he just remembers being anxious and having thoughts with his will or not like " he will do the compulsion and never bother himself with it again"
Some days ago, that guy was looking for an apartment to rent and google maps took him to a spot near that go-cart areana that the whole ocd worries happened. (more than a year ago)
The guy got worried because he thought that by seeing the area near the go-cart areana it is maybe like "bothering himself with it". he worries for a maybe promise to God "never bother himself with it again"
He cant remember exactly where the go-cart arena is. and if it near the spot of the apartment that google map saw him.
He should have closed the site. But he needed to know if the go-cart arena is near that spot or not. he wanted to be sure to know if he should worry or not for having some chances that he may have broke a maybe fake ocd promise to God. if he had closed the site he would not know and he could be worrying for no reason. he wanted to be sure. he wanted to know if he accidentally by watching that area near the spot, was like "bother himself with it" (the compulsion).
He started searching and zooming in the map for some seconds. and he found the go-cart arena on the map. it was far away enough from the spot of the apartment for rent. but wait. oh no! by searching and worrying about the specific location of the go-cart arena on the map, he could have maybe bothered himself with it.
He worries that he may have broke a fake promise to God just by searching the exact spot of the go-cart arena on the map. (it is the location that the compulsion happened a year ago)
what his thoughts were that day that the compulsion happened? he said that he would do the compulsion to that go-cart arena and then never bother himself with it.
How does that apply? what exacly the guy meant "never bother himself with it?" does it mean like never do the compulsion again? never visit that go-cart arena again for other reasons? never think about that arena? never think or worry or remember the compulsion in that arena? was that a real promise to God or not? did he asked for a punishment in case breaking it or not? did he break it by searching in google maps the location of the arena? he cant remember! he cant remember what was in his heart when he said "never bother himself with it again". well, deep in his heart he knew that all these are ocd stuff and fake promises just to trick ocd and that he does not want punishment. probably, "never bother himself with it again" was meaning that he would never return to do the compulsion second time. does that count only for that day? was he free to return to that arena for other reasons? like having fun with friends in that arena with no compulsion related stuff?
A guy has ocd. ocd tells him to go to a go-cart arena and do a specific compulsion. but ocd also tells him not to go to the go-card arena and do the compulsion.
ocd: do that compulsion on that place
ocd: do not do that the compulsion on that place cause you may have made an unwanted promise to God due to ocd.
the guys is in a dilemma and is dizzy from the ocd worries. he is going insane. his mind is foggy and is so anxious.
he tells God that he will do the compulsion and then never bother himself with it again. he also tell Him that he does not make promises but sometimes acts as if he made a promise just to trick ocd to leave him alone. he uses fake promises to God as an excuse to the ocd in order to leave him alone. for example, he tells ocd that he will do the compulsion but then never bother himself with it because he may have made a fast promise to God. sometimes, tries to trick ocd by telling it, that he may have asked a punishment in case he breaks the promise so he must do the compulsion now, in that go-cart arena, and then never bother himself with it because of a fake promise to God.
The problem is that guy, cannot remember if he was making the promise or if he was asking for a punishment in case of breaking it. he cant remember if he was just telling God that he will do an ocd compulsion and then that he will never bother himself with it again. he cant remember if he asked for a punishment in case of breaking it. he may have asked for a punishment in order to make the promise more scary to break it. that guy does not like making compulsion and is exchausted from the compulsion and ocd worries. so he says to his ocd that he wont do the compulsion second time, because he may have made a promise to God fake or not and he worries that he may be punished if he breaks the promise. so that makes ocd to stop telling him to do the compulsion second time. because the guy prefers not to do the compulsion second time (never bother himself with it again) and have ocd worries than breaking a maybe fake promise to God and be punished because he may have asked for a punishment in case breaking it.
He has told God that ocd tricks him and he does not want this. he does not make promises. he just sometimes has some thoughts in his head that relieve him and help him not doing an ocd compulsion. he has told God they are just fake promises in order to beat ocd. he told God if he really means a promise he will do the cross sign three times.
That day, he cant remember if made a real promise to God. or not. he cant remember if he asked for a punishment in case breaking it or not. he cant remember if he made the cross sign 3 times or not. he just remembers being anxious and having thoughts with his will or not like " he will do the compulsion and never bother himself with it again"
Some days ago, that guy was looking for an apartment to rent and google maps took him to a spot near that go-cart areana that the whole ocd worries happened. (more than a year ago)
The guy got worried because he thought that by seeing the area near the go-cart areana it is maybe like "bothering himself with it". he worries for a maybe promise to God "never bother himself with it again"
He cant remember exactly where the go-cart arena is. and if it near the spot of the apartment that google map saw him.
He should have closed the site. But he needed to know if the go-cart arena is near that spot or not. he wanted to be sure to know if he should worry or not for having some chances that he may have broke a maybe fake ocd promise to God. if he had closed the site he would not know and he could be worrying for no reason. he wanted to be sure. he wanted to know if he accidentally by watching that area near the spot, was like "bother himself with it" (the compulsion).
He started searching and zooming in the map for some seconds. and he found the go-cart arena on the map. it was far away enough from the spot of the apartment for rent. but wait. oh no! by searching and worrying about the specific location of the go-cart arena on the map, he could have maybe bothered himself with it.
He worries that he may have broke a fake promise to God just by searching the exact spot of the go-cart arena on the map. (it is the location that the compulsion happened a year ago)
what his thoughts were that day that the compulsion happened? he said that he would do the compulsion to that go-cart arena and then never bother himself with it.
How does that apply? what exacly the guy meant "never bother himself with it?" does it mean like never do the compulsion again? never visit that go-cart arena again for other reasons? never think about that arena? never think or worry or remember the compulsion in that arena? was that a real promise to God or not? did he asked for a punishment in case breaking it or not? did he break it by searching in google maps the location of the arena? he cant remember! he cant remember what was in his heart when he said "never bother himself with it again". well, deep in his heart he knew that all these are ocd stuff and fake promises just to trick ocd and that he does not want punishment. probably, "never bother himself with it again" was meaning that he would never return to do the compulsion second time. does that count only for that day? was he free to return to that arena for other reasons? like having fun with friends in that arena with no compulsion related stuff?
