Please help me...betting my life

[Harley.]

Ive had OCD since I was a kid, im through alot of it now. But sometimes an event rears its ugly head. And then I spiral.

I was listening to music. And I had the intrusive thought "If my fiancee comes online before the next song starts, ill break up with her". Utter stupidity right? Well I wanted to test it and I willingly said in that moment of panic (not out loud. In my head) "I bet my life". To really prove the thought wrong and then BAM she suddenly appears online. Im now TERRIFYED. I dont know what to do. I never make oaths or vows because Jesus says not to. Plus its too much anxiety. And most certainly would I never bet my life. But...idek...I think I need to break up with her now...? But I really dont know how to go about that...

 

[Mari17]

Ive had OCD since I was a kid, im through alot of it now. But sometimes an event rears its ugly head. And then I spiral.

I was listening to music. And I had the intrusive thought "If my fiancee comes online before the next song starts, ill break up with her". Utter stupidity right? Well I wanted to test it and I willingly said in that moment of panic (not out loud. In my head) "I bet my life". To really prove the thought wrong and then BAM she suddenly appears online. Im now TERRIFYED. I dont know what to do. I never make oaths or vows because Jesus says not to. Plus its too much anxiety. And most certainly would I never bet my life. But...idek...I think I need to break up with her now...? But I really dont know how to go about that...

One thing I am finding out with my OCD is not to make decisions, especially big ones, when I am in "OCD mode" or feeling unstable. My mind is not very clear then, even when I think it is.

 

[Harley.]

One thing I am finding out with my OCD is not to make decisions, especially big ones, when I am in "OCD mode" or feeling unstable. My mind is not very clear then, even when I think it is.

Yeah well i did…i already thought the “i bet my life”

 

[Mari17]

Yeah well i did…i already thought the “i bet my life”

I meant that it would be wise to not make any decisions about breaking up with your fiancee right now...

 

[Harley.]

I meant that it would be wise to not make any decisions about breaking up with your fiancee right now...

Oh…OH…

Well what do you suggest, idek how oaths are handled in Christianity and if ones in the mind are even counted.

 

[Mari17]

Oh…OH…

Well what do you suggest, idek how oaths are handled in Christianity and if ones in the mind are even counted.

Maybe this blog post would be helpful? One Toxic, Anxious Vow to God You Can Nullify Today - Scrupulosity.com

 

[stevevw]

Ive had OCD since I was a kid, im through alot of it now. But sometimes an event rears its ugly head. And then I spiral.

I was listening to music. And I had the intrusive thought "If my fiancee comes online before the next song starts, ill break up with her". Utter stupidity right? Well I wanted to test it and I willingly said in that moment of panic (not out loud. In my head) "I bet my life". To really prove the thought wrong and then BAM she suddenly appears online. Im now TERRIFYED. I dont know what to do. I never make oaths or vows because Jesus says not to. Plus its too much anxiety. And most certainly would I never bet my life. But...idek...I think I need to break up with her now...? But I really dont know how to go about that...

I would imagine you have had some sort of cognitive therapy. I think in times like these its going back to the basics. Try to relax as it starts with the body first. Relaxing the physical body is easier than relaxing the mind. Make this a regime, go for walks or even relaxation groups or yoga even.

That helps a lot I think as I have a son who went through similar and whenever he became obsessive just stopping and breathing slowly and then sitting down and concentrating on relaxing the body from the tip of the toes to the head this completely change his nervious tension.

But ultimately its retraining the brain and the more you do it the more you can rewire the brain to an extent as sometimes medications are needed as there is a chemical imbalance. But I believe and the science is pointing that way that the brain is plastic and can rewire to a degree.

But just the practice of training the mind to rethink is like training a weak leg to become strong. I have seen stories of damaged brains in accidents being retrained to even walk.

Of course exposure therapy is important. But this should be done with a trained specialist. You can to a degree get therapy online. But its good to have a mentor or some sort. Problems like this that become severe cannot be overcome on your own. Even a minister or friend who may have some experience is helpful. Or a local support group of people with similar experiences and not necessarily OCD as other anxiety disorders are related and have similar phobias.

Anyway God bless and hang in there because with help it does get better. In God we trust as He can do the impossible through Christ.

 

[trophy33]

1. Eat just meat, eggs and animal fat (and you can add salt) for as long as you can. No sugar, no fruit, no nuts, no teas, no cocoa, no spices, nothing.
- this elimination diet will help you identify what causes or worsens you problems; you can carefully reintroduce some plant food after you will be healed

2. Have a deep sleep every night, go to sleep every day at the same time and get up at the same time every day, including weekends.
- become a "professional sleeper" - figure out the right temperature, supplements, lifestyle habits for that

3. Get enough of light throughout the day and enough of dark (without blue light - any displays) at least an hour before going to sleep. You can for example read a book every evening.

4. Exercise properly.

5. Limit long term stressors in your life. And incorporate habits that calm you down (hiking in nature, a pet...).

Yes, you may notice I ignored your specific OP "issue" completely. That is because it will be some other similar issue every day if you will not solve the underlying problem - your brain and your hormones chemistry is not functioning properly. You need to eat a lot of saturated fat, a lot of cholesterol, a lot of tryptophan and produce a lot of serotonin and melatonin to repair the damage.