Please help, just broke up with my g/f.

[Deanpotter]

I have been dating a non Christian on and off for about three years. I love her very much, she is caring, kind, committed ambitious, she has a happy social life, independent, and smart.

We are at a stage where she has said she would marry me if I asked her.

She accepts me for who I am, my faith in Christ, but she does not believe in God herself. Her father did not believe in God, which seems to somehow influence her ability to accept the idea.

But there is more. She lives a very promiscuous lifestyle in that she has a lot of gay friends with whom she party's quite often with. There is a lot of nudity and drugs involved in these parties. She is very accepting of everyone, which I can't exactly fault her for. She loves and supports her friends more than the majority of Christians I know, and the fact that they are gay is akin to saying they are sinners, which we all are. One sin is not greater than the net.

But I am in despair over the fact that I feel like I can't commit to her simply because she has a different worldview than me. It is making me question my own values and wonder if there really is a God out there, a God who would bring this beautiful and passionate person into my life only to reveal that our deepest values are so different that we can't be married.

Why would god do this, and if it is some sort of test, why am I so lonely right now and she is so confused why I just broke her heart?

 

[earagun]

I have been dating a non Christian on and off for about three years. I love her very much, she is caring, kind, committed ambitious, she has a happy social life, independent, and smart.

We are at a stage where she has said she would marry me if I asked her.

She accepts me for who I am, my faith in Christ, but she does not believe in God herself. Her father did not believe in God, which seems to somehow influence her ability to accept the idea.

But there is more. She lives a very promiscuous lifestyle in that she has a lot of gay friends with whom she party's quite often with. There is a lot of nudity and drugs involved in these parties. She is very accepting of everyone, which I can't exactly fault her for. She loves and supports her friends more than the majority of Christians I know, and the fact that they are gay is akin to saying they are sinners, which we all are. One sin is not greater than the net.

But I am in despair over the fact that I feel like I can't commit to her simply because she has a different worldview than me. It is making me question my own values and wonder if there really is a God out there, a God who would bring this beautiful and passionate person into my life only to reveal that our deepest values are so different that we can't be married.

Why would god do this, and if it is some sort of test, why am I so lonely right now and she is so confused why I just broke her heart?

I'm not sure why your giving God credit for bringing this girl into your life, Its kinda strange question but have you ever read the new testiment cover to cover. most all of your questions could easily be answered. but let me just say this YOU WOULD BE CRAZY TO MARRY SOMEONE LIKE HER!

 

[Everlasting33]

I think questioning why God would "do this" is more stressful and adds to one's frustrations. I do not believe God is interactive in the lives' of others.

Values and worldviews do need to be shared in a relationship for it to flourish and become stronger. If they are not agreed upon, the decision is made right there. Troubling yourself with God's will only causes one pain.

 

[Deanpotter]

I'm not sure why your giving God credit for bringing this girl into your life, Its kinda strange question but have you ever read the new testiment cover to cover. most all of your questions could easily be answered. but let me just say this YOU WOULD BE CRAZY TO MARRY SOMEONE LIKE HER!

Someone like her?

God would be crazy to save someone like you, and yet he does it.

 

[SteveNZ]

Hi Deanpotter,

How are things?

Do you pray and interact with your Lord?
When you interact with the Lord and share what you think of her, where she is at, what here lifestyle is what did he share back?

What scriptures and understanding did the Lord/Spirit guide you to? Have you looked yourself?

MAN TALK
1- You are either a man of God or you are not. You had better find out the truth of our Lord Jesus once and for all.
2- If you choose to be a man of God serve him. And let your friend know that she is greatly loved of your God, even more than you love her and that you will never marry except in his will.

-> You know what that is, as well as we do. 2Cor 6:14-18

3- If you love her you with go all out praying for her to become one who is set free. Who knows the truth of Jesus and a fulness of life and can laugh/rejoice with you. Non of this '..ok I will become a Christian just to marry you..' business. Save that type of thing for pretend or play gods.....

4- If you do not feel like doing the above may I suggest that it is only your frail human heart and hormones controlling your judgement.

I Pray that you may seek the real Jesus, interact with your Lord/God/Spirit in prayer (it will be tearful) and follow the will of the Lord set before you.

It will be hard....do you have the guts to do so?
AND you will show her what true love is ............ for the greatest power is Love.

 

[Recon]

Very well said SteveNZ. Perfect response. Deanpotter, please take this advice to heart, you do NOT want to destroy the rest of your life by being yoked with an unbeliever. It may not seem like a big deal now but trust me it will be a HUGE issue down the road. Run now, while you're not in a covenant with her!

 

[Deanpotter]

Thank you all. I had this feeling in the back of my heart and head that by letting her go, and telling her it was bc of my faith, I might be a witness to her. I do and will pray that she can accept god.

 

[Recon]

Yeah you can always keep praying for her. But there is no guarantee God will soften her heart and bring her unto Himself. I wouldn't wait forever to find the girl who is meant for you. Oh, and if she does come around, make sure its GENUINE before getting married. Lots and lots and lots of people say that they are Christians when they are not. Watch a few Paul Washer videos to get the idea.

The fruit must be there.

 

[If Not For Grace]

she is caring, kind, committed ambitious, she has a happy social life, independent, and smart.

Most of us wish we could find some one like that.

I missed why this was the time to walk away from her completely, I get she does not
share your faith (yet) Was it you who were being weakened, was that it?