Please Help-im Stuck

[healmyheartLord]

Please I need help here. I've been dating tgis guy for over 5 years. I'm recently saved and baptized Christian about 5 month ago. He says he believes in God but does not want to give his life up to the lord and wants to stay in sin. I recently cought him looking at porn on his new iphone and i confronted him about it and he said hes not gonna do it again cuz he knows it upsets me and makes me mad. Well he deleted his history today so I cant see what he's looking at. I think he did it to hide something. We were thinkin about getting married but can I really trust him? I have a bad feeling. I wish God would give me a sign to leave him or marry him. I love him to death but i dont wanna get hurt, cheated, or lied to. Also he has a pot smoking problem and he is not gonna quit anytime soon he sd, he says that it not in the ten commandments so whatever. He has cheated one me in the past but i forgave him. I feel something is odd, we actually just beeb recently broken up for 3 months and got back together and ever since then I have a feelimg that hes hiding something. Should I stay or go even though it will hurt me horribly to leave....

 

[Somber]

That sounds like a hard situation. I would leave him if I were in that situation. If there is trouble now, marriage very likely will turn out much worse. Try getting him to go to counseling, there might be hope if someone else talks to him. But if he won't listen, it might be best to leave. I will pray for you.

 

[Woven]

We were thinkin about getting married but can I really trust him? I have a bad feeling. I wish God would give me a sign to leave him or marry him. I love him to death but i dont wanna get hurt, cheated, or lied to.

That right there is your sign! My dad always used to tell me to let the peace of the Holy Spirit be my guide when I have tough choices to make about something. If you have a bad feeling about it, it's for a reason. Please don't ignore it.

Any problems you are having now will only be magnified when you get married. The fact that he is deleting his history is a big red flag to me. It tells me he wants to hide something from you, and if he is hiding stuff from you now that is not going to suddenly change when you are married.

It may hurt you horribly to leave, but it will hurt you far far more being stuck in a horrible marriage.

Praying for wisdom for you

 

[Godsappointedtime]

That right there is your sign! My dad always used to tell me to let the peace of the Holy Spirit be my guide when I have tough choices to make about something. If you have a bad feeling about it, it's for a reason. Please don't ignore it.

“And let the peace of God rule in your hearts….” Colossians 3:15

The word “rule” means to judge, or arbitrate.
Should we take a misstep, a voice of correction
(Holy Spirit conviction) will speak to our heart.



.

 

[Tink]

Get out now while you still can. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" -2 Cor. 6:14, KJV.

 

[Inkachu]

Honey, you will not be losing ANYTHING by dumping this guy. He's cheated on you, he continues to cheat via porn, he smokes pot, he doesn't share your faith... getting married is the LAST thing you should do. Marriage doesn't fix problems; you marry the exact same person that you date. It's time to move on with your new life in God, and leave this guy behind. Not with any resentful feelings, pray for his salvation, but he is NOT what you need right now. Don't let fear of loneliness make you stay in an unhealthy relationship; you've got the best relationship of ALL right now, with Jesus He will NEVER leave you, and He'll never mistreat you, or break your trust, like this man has done. Seek God right now, and let Him work out your future, and lead you to the husband He wants for you, in His time. Best wishes

 

[healmyheartLord]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ADVISE!! It has already blessed me and you all have gave me really good information. I agree with you all. YES, my biggest fear is be lonley and not being with anyone. I have such a big heart full of love to share with someone but if hes gonna be doing that kind of stuff then you are right, I dont need him. I love this man, we were highschool sweethearts and I wanted him to be a godly man with me, honest, and faithful.. I guess its to much to ask for these days. Grrr!! AND also my biggest problem is after we brake up I start regreting why I did, thinking I was the stupid one coming up with stupid reasons and that I over reacted and was just being jelouse. Many women say that its ok for there men to look at porno, and that all men do it no matter what. AND I think that is wrong!!! ITS SIN!! right??? I just dont want to brake up with him and wish I didnt and want him back. I need to realize that he is not the one for me. He can be a sweetheart many times, but there is also another side of him that can come out that is very un comforting. Escpecially when I find him hiding things from me.

I am going to take your advise and soak it in today. Im going to talk to God and ask if the holy spirit can guide me thr right direction with this..

And I am also scheduled to get Christian Counseling on Monday, I hope this helps. Everytime we have ever broken up, my heart aches, my stomach hurts, and I get really depressed because it sucks being alone and living all alone!!! :'-(

 

[Inkachu]

Darling, you KNOW what the right decision is. You don't need to think about it, wait on it, or pray about it. I understand that you may need time to gather the courage to follow through with it, but please don't slip into believing that this relationship could possibly be good for you; it hasn't been, it isn't, and it won't be. End it and seek healing <3

 

[healmyheartLord]

Thank You Celtic Heart. I ended the relationship between us last night and he got really mad and left, called me a couple of really bad names, and walked out and slammed the door. Oh well, its just me and Jesus now. Nothing is coming between us. I hope I can be strong and dont get the urge to call him because I miss him. I have to remember why I ended it and pray the Jesus will heal my heart and help me move on in my life. Once again thank you all for the advise and support. I appreciate it all. I hope you have a great day and GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!!! I really do mean that.

Thank You

 

[Godsappointedtime]

Psalms 147:3 "He heals the brokenhearted,
and bandages their wounds."

Let your soul become quiet before the Lord.
Ask Him to fill that void with His peace.
Stand strong in Him and refuse to allow
your soul ( mind, emotions and will )
to be moved from that place of safety (His Peace).
Seek fellowship with other believers.
Surround yourself with those who have been
supportive of your desire to follow the Lords will in your life.

John 14:27 NLT "I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart.
And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.



.

 

[healmyheartLord]

You touched my heart with these verses, wow thank you so much. I needed that. Bless you. Bless you!!