Hey there! My name is Cole! Im new here to the forum but im no stranger to God and church. I have a pretty good foundation at my church, lots of friends and a good relationship with Christ. But im in a situation where i have just no amount of hope left and my prayers still havent seemed to be answered. This is a long story so bear with me, because i really need advice.
Okay so im 17 homeschooled and last september, i met a new girl named Katie, she is everything i had been waiting for and we were absolutely swept off our feet by eachother. She had just moved down here to georgia from ohio, because she has an extremely broken family up there. So she was living down bere with her aunt and by her aunts rules, katie wasnt allowed to date, but i accepted that. We both still talked everyday, saw eachother at school (yes im homeschooled but i go to a co-op 2 days a week). Things were great! And once every week or so, shed have a night where she was really upset and i was the only one who could help make her smile.
At that time i knew about 90% of her story, she grew up with a great family until about 13 years old, her mom ran off, her dad came home drunk every night and she had to put him to bed everynight because he was too drunk to do so. She also had a little sister she was pretty much raising on her own too. Katie was diagnosed with serious depression at a late 13 years old and she began cutting herself between then and 15 years old. Everybody she had ever called her friend had left her at somepoint or another, so she feels completely unloved and not good enough. And at this time i also knew she wasnt a virgin, but i accepted that, she was still perfect for me.
Anyways, back to last fall, she ended up thinking, "well maybe i should try to move back to ohio and fix things with my dad before she got too old and it was too late." So right before thanks giving, she moved back up there, i was completely heartbroken, i thought i had done lost the girl of my dreams. And after the move, we stopped talking until about late february, we started talking again, she was still the same ole katie who still loved me and i still loved her. Things went back to the way they were when she was here, we talked to eachother like we were a couple, but she was still a very depressed girl. And from day one i thought man i know i can fix her. She has alway told me that shes too far gone to be helped, she doenst want help, and stuff like that. Some days she tells me she hopes everynight that she will not wake up in the morning, i mean she does not want to live anymore, but i keep telling her that every storm run out of rain, that every season come to an end. But everytime she sees a light at the end of the tunnel, it gets darkened once again.
And now we're at present time, she is actually down here in georgia visiting right now, and its the first time ive seen her since last november, which felt great because its just been so dang long. But she has the option to stay down here or to move back. Im trying to convince her that in georgia she has so many friends that love her and care for her, as opposed to ohio which is full of half friends that arent there for her and honestly nobody that loves her. Georgia obviously sounds like the better option, buy she just doesnt care anymore, she still says she loves me, but everybody else has left her, i tell her to just keep praying, i pray for her just like i have since september last year. She just wants to die, as awful as that seems, its how it is. I have told her to find a life group at a church so she can get some of this off of her chest, but she feels that people with just find her as a weak person, when i know she is probably the strongest person i know. All this makes me feel like im about to lose her for good and that i have failed her.
I pray for her everyday, but my prayers just do t seem to have been answered. I have no clue what else to do, i have asked God "should i stay with her or should i go?" But i havent been pointed in any direction. I need advise if theres anyone out there who can give it. I love this girl to death, and i honestly feel like theres no other woman out there that could replace her in my life, i do not want to lose her. Please, anyone, help me if you can. Thanks and God Bless!
Okay so im 17 homeschooled and last september, i met a new girl named Katie, she is everything i had been waiting for and we were absolutely swept off our feet by eachother. She had just moved down here to georgia from ohio, because she has an extremely broken family up there. So she was living down bere with her aunt and by her aunts rules, katie wasnt allowed to date, but i accepted that. We both still talked everyday, saw eachother at school (yes im homeschooled but i go to a co-op 2 days a week). Things were great! And once every week or so, shed have a night where she was really upset and i was the only one who could help make her smile.
At that time i knew about 90% of her story, she grew up with a great family until about 13 years old, her mom ran off, her dad came home drunk every night and she had to put him to bed everynight because he was too drunk to do so. She also had a little sister she was pretty much raising on her own too. Katie was diagnosed with serious depression at a late 13 years old and she began cutting herself between then and 15 years old. Everybody she had ever called her friend had left her at somepoint or another, so she feels completely unloved and not good enough. And at this time i also knew she wasnt a virgin, but i accepted that, she was still perfect for me.
Anyways, back to last fall, she ended up thinking, "well maybe i should try to move back to ohio and fix things with my dad before she got too old and it was too late." So right before thanks giving, she moved back up there, i was completely heartbroken, i thought i had done lost the girl of my dreams. And after the move, we stopped talking until about late february, we started talking again, she was still the same ole katie who still loved me and i still loved her. Things went back to the way they were when she was here, we talked to eachother like we were a couple, but she was still a very depressed girl. And from day one i thought man i know i can fix her. She has alway told me that shes too far gone to be helped, she doenst want help, and stuff like that. Some days she tells me she hopes everynight that she will not wake up in the morning, i mean she does not want to live anymore, but i keep telling her that every storm run out of rain, that every season come to an end. But everytime she sees a light at the end of the tunnel, it gets darkened once again.
And now we're at present time, she is actually down here in georgia visiting right now, and its the first time ive seen her since last november, which felt great because its just been so dang long. But she has the option to stay down here or to move back. Im trying to convince her that in georgia she has so many friends that love her and care for her, as opposed to ohio which is full of half friends that arent there for her and honestly nobody that loves her. Georgia obviously sounds like the better option, buy she just doesnt care anymore, she still says she loves me, but everybody else has left her, i tell her to just keep praying, i pray for her just like i have since september last year. She just wants to die, as awful as that seems, its how it is. I have told her to find a life group at a church so she can get some of this off of her chest, but she feels that people with just find her as a weak person, when i know she is probably the strongest person i know. All this makes me feel like im about to lose her for good and that i have failed her.
I pray for her everyday, but my prayers just do t seem to have been answered. I have no clue what else to do, i have asked God "should i stay with her or should i go?" But i havent been pointed in any direction. I need advise if theres anyone out there who can give it. I love this girl to death, and i honestly feel like theres no other woman out there that could replace her in my life, i do not want to lose her. Please, anyone, help me if you can. Thanks and God Bless!
I'll be praying for you two 
