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cp101

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I really need some advice. I think my mum is having an affair, she's always been secretive about her mobile phone, and out of curiousity I saw some texts in her outbox that were sent to a work colleague which heavily implied an affair. This was only about an hour ago. I'm really confused with all the things in my head, in many ways a want to say nothing about it because it might be nothing at all and I'll look stupid, I also don't want things to change.

On the other hand who is it fair to if I don't say anything? Can anyone offer me advice or tell me who they think I should tell about this. My mum and dad are both supposedly committed christians and i really don't know what to think about either of them, I am a bit older and think that i should have some responsibility but what can i do???? i'm really dreading saying anything btu know that i might have to. PLEASE help



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HumbleBee

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cp101!

You are in such a difficult spot! Words that heavily imply an affair would be tough to miscontrue...meaning they seem to clearly indicate what is really going on between your Mom and her co-worker. Before you confront your Mom, certainly praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, ask God what you should do, plus try to get immistakable evidence...the text message may indeed be all you require. Consider even talking to your pastor or someone else you can really trust, as your Mom may lash out at you in defensiveness. She may receive rebuke better from someone older. If you have a really close relationship with your Mom, you could be God's messenger? However, whatever you do, get much prayer and advice before letting this bad cat out of the bag.
 
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cp101

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Thanks for your advice, im really confused by this whole situation, it is something i can honestly say i never ever saw arising in my life (not cos i think my mum and dad are incapable, just that its my mum and can't help feeling a deep dissappointment and almost hate for what i think she's done)


I just don't know what to do and i just feel whatever i do will lead to heartache and suffering. I have 2 sisters who don't live at home and would feel really awkward saying something to them, although i think i would find it even more difficult to say something to my dad. After tonight i think i have a fairly superficial relationship with both my mum and dad and never talk about feelings or anything important with them or anyone else for that matter. I just don't know what to do and its really painful, my pastor is also a friend that knows my parents - i don't really know anyone that i would talk to that doesn't know them thats why i came here for advice. i will pray but i can't see any other way round this than confrontation which i think would split my family and lead to scenes which i can see myself saying things i could never take back.

Any wisdom would be appreciated.
 
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HumbleBee

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cp101, You must remember mercy and utter humility. Confronting your Mom in anger will only cause more strife in what may become a havoc wreaking situation.

The only necessary words to speak...somtin like: Mom, I happened to see your cell phone text message that seems to imply you may be having an affair? Is this true?

Tiz no need to condemn, nor criticize, nor voice out loud your disappointment. Your relationship with your parents is superficial, probably because their marriage may be strained, so that could be why your Mom went looking elsewhere.

If she confesses, Jesus will surely work to bring restoration to your parents' marriage and even your relationship with them!

Follow the example of Christ in Luke 8...He did not condemn the adultress because He understood she truly seeking to be loved, even though her actions were misguided.

3 Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5 Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” 6 This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear.
7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8 And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9 Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
11 She said, “No one, Lord.”
And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
 
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