Please do not judge...

[MerryMary]

Are people with borderline personality disorder selfish individuals?

When I was 18 I was admitted forcibly into a mental hospital for my depression. I was told on release from the mental hospital that I have BPD and I asked how they came to that conclusion, (I was there for 1 week and a doctor or nurse never even spoke to me once about anything important or assess me in any way) the nurse told me that they could tell by the way I acted and that I had a manipulative personality. I asked how they could tell that if they never even evaluated me, but they wouldn't give me a straight answer.

To this day, I look back on that and it bothers me, I can't even trust what they say is true, but reading online some of the criteria fits me but I'm not sure about some. My whole life people have called me this sweet, quiet girl who wouldn't hurt a fly, and I have always tried to be kind and be a good person despite being in a depression since I was nine.

I don't really know anything about BPD; am I manipulative? Am I selfish? I second guess myself sometimes, I feel so insecure now, like I'm marked for life as a "crazy" person. Did having BPD cause me to have Postpartum Psychosis after I had my son? Is it the reason I was in a depression most my life? I am lost and confused, and feel I don't know who I am, I cant commit my life to Christ fully because of it...

Please help me, please pray I will find the answers I so desperately need

~Lissa

 

[LifebyChrist]

Hi, I do not know you but I will not judge you.

I don't know where you came from or where you are going

John 3:8 "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

But whatever you do in life, don't let anything keep you from fully commiting your life to Christ.

 

[JadeTigress]

If they never even talked to you, I wouldn't trust them. But that's just me. Some people are quick to use BPD as a catch-all. If it bothers you that much, you could go to a psychiatrist and actually be evaluated (don't worry; as long as you aren't telling them you try to kill yourself every night or something so that they think you're a danger to yourself, you won't be admitted anywhere).

And if it turns out that you do have it, so what? You're still you, regardless of what labels people throw at you. And if you are labelled, that doesn't mean that everyone in the world has to know. I was diagnosed with BPD (among other things), and honestly it's just not something I think about. For the first few weeks I did, and it bothered me because "now everyone's going to think I'm a crazy person", but now I really just don't care. I'd be the same person whether I was diagnosed or not.

And as far as being manipulative and/or selfish, I think that describes how a lot of people can be, whether they have a mental disorder or not.

 

[madison1101]

The diagnosis of BPD is usually made after a therapist observes and learns of behavior and thinking. I don't know what behavior you displayed in the hospital, or what thoughts you shared with anyone who worked with you while you were in, but they could be right in their diagnosis of you. I have worked in psych hospitals and know that every person who works on the ward has input in the chart of each patient.

That said, what is important is that you seek professional help with your questions and not get us to diagnose you. Are you in therapy now? Do you have a licensed therapist, as well as do you see a psychiatrist for medications? They are the people who can help you with the questions you have about yourself.

As for being selfish? Some people would say that BPDers are selfish in some ways. I was.

Good luck and God bless.
Trish

 

[mommo9kids]

Without being properly evaluated there cannot be a true diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorer. If you are concerned about this in any way you should get a second opinion. Sometimes the doctors have to put "something" on the chart for the insurance company.
When it comes down to it BPD is just a label and if you were to have it and be symptom free, the label really wouldn't matter.

Blessings,
Patty

 

[emilyloohoo]

I had the same situation happen to me. I was "diagnosed" when I was 16. I was a patient at a state psychiatric hospital and I was there for only a week. I barely spoke to the doctor, and after one visit, he diagnosed me with it. I doubted all these years that I had that, but researching it, I might possibly. Good luck, I need some as well...Laura

 

[toya30]

I was in the mental health system since I was fourteen. I was diagnosed with everything. My last instituion I was in I was diagnosed with BPD. I didn't know what it was. The nurse kinda looked at me and said," BPD's are selfish and manipilitive, and blame everyone else for their mistakes. " The blaming everyone for my mistakes was so true. Everything was somebody else's fault. It couldn't be mine. I didn't think I was selfish or manipulitve. Looking deep inside myself, I could see how being in so much pain, my acting out and behavior was selfish and a way to manipulate circumstances so I wouldn't hurt anymore. Don't worry about it. Humanity has a problem with selfishness. Not just people with BPD. God can help us overcome those things we have been labled. We have his self control already in us we have to learn to let the Holy Spirit teach us how to harness it. God bless!! Those nurses and psychiatric people have problems too, they also need Jesus!!

In Christ,
Toya

 

[emilyloohoo]

I was in the mental health system since I was fourteen. I was diagnosed with everything. My last instituion I was in I was diagnosed with BPD. I didn't know what it was. The nurse kinda looked at me and said," BPD's are selfish and manipilitive, and blame everyone else for their mistakes. " The blaming everyone for my mistakes was so true. Everything was somebody else's fault. It couldn't be mine. I didn't think I was selfish or manipulitve.

Well, I think at that age of our lives, being teenagers, we are so self-focused anyways that of course everything is everyone else's fault, not ours. But man was that nurse a you know what to say that to you!

 

[toya30]

Yeah, it kinda hurt my feelings but I was suffering so much and in such confusion I really didn't think about it. I just never knew what it was. I was never told or taught about it being an inability to control my emotions or anything. I wish someone would have explained it to me. They didn't see my pain they just saw my behavior and helplessness. I guess she may have been taught that. She looked at me with a big chipper smile as she said it. Lol!

 

[Matariki]

I'm not going to judge you, I feel sympathy for you. I think the best movement here would be to seek a biblical, christian counselor that specializes in cognitive behavior therapy. I would also strongly recommend medication if you're currently not on any at the moment, It will help in balancing your mood.

Here are some links that can help you in understanding BPD:
borderline personality disorder
Out of the FOG - Personality Disorder Support

 

[madison1101]

I'm not going to judge you, I feel sympathy for you. I think the best movement here would be to seek a biblical, christian counselor that specializes in cognitive behavior therapy. I would also strongly recommend medication if you're currently not on any at the moment, It will help in balancing your mood.

Here are some links that can help you in understanding BPD:
borderline personality disorder
Out of the FOG - Personality Disorder Support

Cognitive behavioral therapy is the way to go, BUT, not all Biblical Christian counselors are covered by insurance. I have a secular therapist and am doing fine in my therapy. I have a discipleship relationship with a mature Christian woman who guides me in scripture and prayer.

I am a licensed therapist who does not work in a Christian agency, but a secular one.

Trish

 

[Emily4808]

hon...we're in the same boat.
I'm alwyas wondering the same thingg! its like i want to give my life to God but i just can't..Gahh im so selfish :/ jfkjkgsejk

 

[lizzy20]

lissa,

I feel the same way you do... people think I'm manipulative but I guess I just give them what they expect out of me now. If you want read my post "Help I can't get free" and you'll find out a lot more about my life.

 

[TheQuirk]

I see a number of people here kind of glossing over this problem and giving out a "so what if you have BPD, everyone has problems!" kind of vibe. That's dangerous; BPD is a treatable disorder that can have serious consequences on your happiness and ability to maintain friendships and relationships if left untreated. If you think you might have it, or even if a bunch of other people think you have it, then it most definitely warrants looking into, by pursuing it with a licensed psychiatrist (forget about whether they have any Christian credentials). In the case of a positive diagnosis you most likely will not be recommended medication, but likely will be recommended therapy. And of course, you can start learning about the disorder and about yourself.

But don't just ignore or it or think "shame on them", because that's very bad.

 

[punksushi]

I can definitely relate to this.
It is devastating when I split and i lose everything associated with that personality including the wisdom of knowing God.