OddBeani-
You're testing fate, is like testing God, but God is really testing you. I had a friend at the age of 17 commit suicide, she was an alcoholic and she overdosed on some prescription drugs and other drugs that were labeled, "Avoid Alcohol Beverages" she mixed everything together and caused herself internal bleeding and she died.
Now do you believe she went to Heaven?
The answer is no.
Everyday I rehash this.
I want you to rethink what your body goes through, are you apart of Satan's chess board? Will he use you until he reaches the end of the board and says, "Check Mate!" Then if you body falls your own soul will belong to him forever. The thing is, he is going to pull you away from God, and he is already succeeding. But you are rebelling your body by becoming ill, you're manifesting death by desire. You probably feel a rush when you drink, knowingly if you do it again and again how much closer will you get to death? Depression and suicide lives within the heart, when your heart beats, it's like depression and suicide are knocking to come in. So becoming bulimic and drinking invites the sorrow in. You desire to throw away your problems instead of facing them, so as God sits on the sidelines and watches you suffer he waits for you to call on him, but instead Satan has so much control over you, he has become the coach and is now directing your thoughts and view on life as seeing suicide. Life is not a game. The thing is we become the Everyday Fool, we look for solutions to get us out of addictions or problems, yet in today's World we are taught to Forget God, look for the problems elsewhere, which is becoming the mistake everywhere. So by drinking, your body thirst is over, and your whole world spins into a different direction, if I were you I'd rethink everything. You're at that peak when thinking suicide will get you out of this, but only return you regain Hell, the eternal place of torture. Will you then beg God to hear you when he was on the sidelines all this time? Ask God what is this that you are feeling? Can this be resloved? The thing is you have TWO problems, but you cannot find the solution, and try reading the Bible, but make sure you do not close the Word of God because either you don't undertsand the Word, or you chose not to listen what the Word means, instead I would just kneel down and pray to Christ first and seek his guidance what the Word means, also when you feel the temptation of drinking or vomiting, have you ever screamed, "Get behind me Satan?" See how quickly a strange feeling will leave you alone and then you will say, "I am a Child of God," two different things will appeal to you, and two different feelings will come and go.
Life is not a game, people play like it is, lives are on the line, solutions are never found, because people discover their own way of solving this, why God is tossed into the shadows of peoples sorrow and pain, they truly forget his hand was extended out to them all along and by that time, everything will be too late.
