Places to submit fiction?

[Chrisschmitz]

I thought I'd post here. I've been published quite a bit in the past (1 novel that's not much to speak of and lots of short fiction). In spending the last two years concentrating on my just completed masters degree I stopped writing for a while. The day after my last research assignment was completed I penned a flash fiction (500 words) that I want to find a good home for--but duotrope's digest (short fiction list and submission service) has turned into a pay-site in that time. any suggestions for a home?

Also, in that time-span my writing/critique group also disbanded without me. I could also use one of those--something along the lines of the Lost Genre Guild (which is currently down because of Yahoo's dilapidated infrastructure).

here's my story in case you feel like offering feedback or crits:

[FONT=&quot]The Shaggy Man[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The shaggy haired man leaned forward, breaking into the candlelight that fought the darkness of the little girl’s room, and placed the barrel of the .357 Sig into his mouth. Metal clacked against his teeth not unlike ice against porcelain. [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“That’s Walter’s gun,” the little girl said with trepidation.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He nodded and reached out to her, brushing hair away from her face. She didn’t wince as he touched the swelling around her eye.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“They’re gone tonight. I took it from his closet,” she whispered about her stepdad. A tear leaked from the tough girl’s eye. She trembled, holding inside her fear and anguish. “Can you really take it all away?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A tear fell from the man’s eyes, too. His head nodded yes.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She leaned into the hug and squeezed him fiercely, burying her face into his neck. He returned the embrace with his free arm. She felt his body tense—the deafening report of the gunshot—a blinding flash of light, and she fell to the cold, bare floor of her lonely room. The gun clattered to the wooden floor.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Screaming, Jessica looked around frantically for the man, but he was gone. She wiped a saline tear from her face. Her bruised face stung under her palm; his hadn’t hurt. Maybe because his hands had holes in them, she wondered. Pain: but she wasn’t afraid anymore. The sad, shaggy man promised he could take it away. And he did.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Walter’s temper raged unabated, through the years, but Jessica, the tough girl, had become fearless. Then, the memory of the shaggy man faded. She doubted he’d ever been more than dream.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Fear gripped the teenage wreck. “You’re not real,” she accused the air. “You didn’t take it away because you’re just a dream!” Jessica’s eye stung as she rubbed the smeared mascara from her eye.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Dread crept from the pit of her stomach where it sat heavy upon a dense lump of vodka-soaked pills. She screamed into her pillow. Removing the pill bottle from her pillowcase, she flung the cap away and peeked inside. Two pills wedged against each other at the bottom.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She smacked the vial into her hand. The capsules fell through her palm, as if it had a hole through it; the shaggy man flashed through her mind as they clattered upon the wood like the sound of Walter’s gun.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Jessica fell to her side, groggy and groaning; the drugs made her mind amble. “You’re not real, Shaggy Man.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I am,” a voice whispered to her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Her eyes fluttered open. “You said you would take it away.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I did,” the man said. “But you took it back.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She vainly reached for him. His scarred hands embraced her. “I still love you.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I’m sorry,” she wailed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Do you still want me to take it all away for you?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She nodded, drifting off.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Suddenly jolted awake, Jessica sat up from a pool of vomit. Standing to clean the mess, she knew her shaggy man was alive and still with her.[/FONT]

 

[SepiaAndDust]

The good news: The Grinder largely fills the void left by Duotrope's paywall.

The bad news: Your story, The Shaggy Man, was considered to be a previously published story as soon as you posted it here, so you may have a harder time placing it elsewhere.

 

[Chrisschmitz]

Actually, no. if this were a blog it would be, but if it's on a forum looking for critiques and the forum requires username/passwords) then it is not.

 

[SepiaAndDust]

Actually, no. if this were a blog it would be, but if it's on a forum looking for critiques and the forum requires username/passwords) then it is not.

Actually, yes. The requires passwords exception is for those who are reading the post. Since anybody--even those not logged in or who don't have an account here--can read what you posted, the story is usually considered viewable by the public and is, therefore, published.

 

[Chrisschmitz]

I still disagree based on all the sources I've consulted in the past (i have an online resource page from writeitsideways, but forum won't me post a link)

Since I am on a membership based forum looking for feedback on a work in progress story and the forum is not a known publication outlet I have no qualms about calling this piece unpublished.

 

[SepiaAndDust]

I still disagree based on all the sources I've consulted in the past (i have an online resource page from writeitsideways, but forum won't me post a link)

Since I am on a membership based forum looking for feedback on a work in progress story and the forum is not a known publication outlet I have no qualms about calling this piece unpublished.

Most actual publishers would disagree. In a nutshell, if your piece can be found with a simple Google search, they'll consider it to have been published. Again, the "membership based" exception doesn't generally apply to free-to-read messageboards.

Anyway, I'm done arguing about it. Good luck to you.

 

[Chrisschmitz]

I would say this, that the resources I've consulted did caveat that the works should be taken down once the story has been submitted and should not remain fully available during the query process. So there is that: and it's a major lynchpin in discussion for either side

 

[chaoticfirefly]

I thought I'd post here. I've been published quite a bit in the past (1 novel that's not much to speak of and lots of short fiction). In spending the last two years concentrating on my just completed masters degree I stopped writing for a while. The day after my last research assignment was completed I penned a flash fiction (500 words) that I want to find a good home for--but duotrope's digest (short fiction list and submission service) has turned into a pay-site in that time. any suggestions for a home?

Also, in that time-span my writing/critique group also disbanded without me. I could also use one of those--something along the lines of the Lost Genre Guild (which is currently down because of Yahoo's dilapidated infrastructure).

here's my story in case you feel like offering feedback or crits:

[FONT=&quot]The Shaggy Man[/FONT]​

[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The shaggy haired man leaned forward, breaking into the candlelight that fought the darkness of the little girl’s room, and placed the barrel of the .357 Sig into his mouth. Metal clacked against his teeth not unlike ice against porcelain. [/FONT]

You have me interested by the first two sentences. I want to see where this is going. My question is, why is he in a child's room, with a gun and seeming like he's about to kill himself? I do hope this is elaborated on, but it doesn't have to be (just kind of a personal thing).

[FONT=&quot]“That’s Walter’s gun,” the little girl said with trepidation.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]He nodded and reached out to her, brushing hair away from her face. She didn’t wince as he touched the swelling around her eye.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“They’re gone tonight. I took it from his closet,” she whispered about her stepdad. A tear leaked from the tough girl’s eye. She trembled, holding inside her fear and anguish. “Can you really take it all away?”[/FONT]

Why did the man first place the gun in /his/ mouth and not just aim it at her? What are her reasons or his reasons for this? Is he just inside his head? "Tough girl". Okay, this little girl is tough. What's making her tough? Please show us this, not tell us. Show us through her actions, her re-actions, her personality, etc.

[FONT=&quot]A tear fell from the man’s eyes, too. His head nodded yes.[/FONT]

The "yes" part is not needed if he's nodding. In most countries, nodding means yes. So we know that he's answering yes just by nodding. You can have him nod and say yes or just have him do one or the other.

[/quote][FONT=&quot]She leaned into the hug and squeezed him fiercely, burying her face into his neck. He returned the embrace with his free arm. She felt his body tense—the deafening report of the gunshot—a blinding flash of light, and she fell to the cold, bare floor of her lonely room. The gun clattered to the wooden floor.[/FONT][/quote]

Describe other things that come with a dead/dying body, the way the body starts to lose warmth, the way the blood slowly exits the wound. "She feels his body tense, like board and go limp" or something along those lines. Google what corpses are like when they first die. Dying is not graceful, show us that it wasn't graceful. This is something someone would NOT forget, especially as a child, watching, seeing and feeling someone die. Every detail is either remembered or the entire thing is blocked out.

Show us him dying, show us her getting upset. "It starts in the bottom of her stomach, the tightening as if she has a stomach ache and it builds up until her lungs constrict and hot tears swell in her eyes until they spill over like waterfalls. She crumples as sobs wrack her body. The Shaggy Man lays there, skin losing the healthy color it once has as death grips him." Or something. Let us connect with her.

[FONT=&quot]Screaming, Jessica looked around frantically for the man, but he was gone. She wiped a saline tear from her face. Her bruised face stung under her palm; his hadn’t hurt. Maybe because his hands had holes in them, she wondered. Pain: but she wasn’t afraid anymore. The sad, shaggy man promised he could take it away. And he did.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Walter’s temper raged unabated, through the years, but Jessica, the tough girl, had become fearless. Then, the memory of the shaggy man faded. She doubted he’d ever been more than dream.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Fear gripped the teenage wreck. “You’re not real,” she accused the air. “You didn’t take it away because you’re just a dream!” Jessica’s eye stung as she rubbed the smeared mascara from her eye.[/FONT]

She was dreaming this, correct? "Screaming, Jessica woke up and in a panic, looks around for the Shaggy Man but she spots no one. Quickly, her hand shoots up when she feels something hot and wet on her face and rubs it away." Could work a little better. Describe these things, show us, do not tell us. Imagery is very important, otherwise being told could make it boring. But everyone is different.

"Her bruised face hurts under her palm", I'm guessing someone is beating her? Or at least, abusing her? Is it because of what the Shaggy Man did?

"his hadn't" His hand't what? Hurt her? The Shaggy Man hadn't hurt her? Or hurt the bruises?

"Maybe it's because his hands had holes in them" If you're referring to Jesus (which is a guess), why would he shoot himself in the mouth in front of the child? Why would he even consider killing himself in the first place? That doesn't seem very Jesus-like, considering the factors of pretty much traumatizing a child for the rest of their life. Unless I'm missing something.

"Pain; she wasn't afraid anymore", the sentence bothers me, perhaps it's the way its worded but that's just me.

"Walter’s temper raged unabated, through the years, but Jessica, the tough girl, had become fearless. Then, the memory of the shaggy man faded. She doubted he’d ever been more than dream."

First part is great! Rage is a great word to use, better than anger! It's strong! However, "but Jessica, the tough girl, had become fearless." Could use some work. Tell us (this is an appropriate time to tell us how she became fearless), which can cancel out the "tough girl" part because it would show us that she's tough. Something like, "As his abuse continued on, the girl learned to endure it. She stood up to him, looked at him straight in the eyes, despite the pain. As time went on, she felt the fear being lifted from her. Her fear of Walter, of the fists that would meet her body". Anything to show us how this developed.

The rest looks fine.

"Fear grips her, causing the already teenager who is in wreck to feel anger swell in her stomach" or something. Expand a bit.

Why is she wearing mascara to bed? That stuff smears, unless she was knocked out, then understandable. If she's crying, unless it's waterproof, it would be smeared, there'd be little black trails of mascara.

The rest looks great.

[FONT=&quot]Dread crept from the pit of her stomach where it sat heavy upon a dense lump of vodka-soaked pills. She screamed into her pillow. Removing the pill bottle from her pillowcase, she flung the cap away and peeked inside. Two pills wedged against each other at the bottom.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She smacked the vial into her hand. The capsules fell through her palm, as if it had a hole through it; the shaggy man flashed through her mind as they clattered upon the wood like the sound of Walter’s gun.[/FONT]

This is perfect! Though pills usually dissolve if soaked in liquids but with writing, suspension of disbelief.

[FONT=&quot]Jessica fell to her side, groggy and groaning; the drugs made her mind amble. “You’re not real, Shaggy Man.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I am,” a voice whispered to her.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Her eyes fluttered open. “You said you would take it away.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I did,” the man said. “But you took it back.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She vainly reached for him. His scarred hands embraced her. “I still love you.”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“I’m sorry,” she wailed.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]“Do you still want me to take it all away for you?”[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]She nodded, drifting off.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Suddenly jolted awake, Jessica sat up from a pool of vomit. Standing to clean the mess, she knew her shaggy man was alive and still with her.[/FONT]

Okay, all in all, this isn't a bad short story. I didn't have a problem with this last part. You could expand on actions for it, however but even if you don't, it's still fine.

You just need to show us and not tell us. Telling is acceptable, but it only works on occasion. Show us her fear, not tell us she's afraid. Show us how brave and fearless Jessica is.

I did have difficulties reading it because everything is clumped together, which is just a common thing for people. Tabbing in at a new paragraph or double spacing different paragraphs would make it easier to read, but that's a personal nitpick since I have bad eyes. I get that it's a forum, so it can be quite difficult.

You do have my curiosity on this story and I hope you expand on it or make it like a short chapter story. But sometimes, short stories are the best stories so people can use their imagination.

These are just my opinions and what I think could better it, but it's up to YOU, the writer to decide how it should be written and the best way to convey the story

 

[PsychoSarah]

You could use this little bit as the basis for a full story, and change it enough that the publishing is not a problem. Who turns in the first draft anyway? I like it, but the sentences are so abrupt that it is hard to feel the suspense. Lengthen some of them out a bit, fill in some context to what is going on, and I think you have a decent piece of literature going for you.

 

[Chrisschmitz]

thanx for the critiques. The story is meant to be a "flash fiction," with a word limit of 500 words

 

[chaoticfirefly]

thanx for the critiques. The story is meant to be a "flash fiction," with a word limit of 500 words

Ah. Right. I just checked and didn't see that information, so that explains it. Would you ever perhaps consider expanding on it?

 

[Chrisschmitz]

I don't think I would expand it beyond 1000 words at most. that's a traditional limit for flash fiction size... I tend to be overly verbose and so I wrote this is an exercise in writing something potent, yet succinct

 

[PsychoSarah]

A story can be short, but no point in keeping it that way if it could be developed more fully and be better.

 

[SepiaAndDust]

A story can be short, but no point in keeping it that way if it could be developed more fully and be better.

Depends on what market you're gearing the story toward. Kazka's 713 Contest, for example, won't take anything shorter than 500 words nor longer than 1000.

 

[PsychoSarah]

True that. Had that fun stuff when I entered a poetry contest. Was disqualified because my poetry was too dark. Not that it said anything about that in the rule book

 

[Chrisschmitz]

There is a lot of point, actually...out comes primarily down to readership. People often gravitate to flag fiction outlets because they want to be able to read something in a few minutes on a coffee/cigarette break. They are also less intimidating and an easy access point to an unfamiliar author. I've written many 10,000 word stories that are, IMO, quite epic. But if nobody reads it, then the story is without purpose. They are also great tools to help refine writing skills