phone calls

[Nico]

i have a friend that says she never calls the guy--he always has to call her. in the beginning stages of a potential relationship should i leave the making of the actual phone call up to him? does it even matter???

 

[Cherub8]

Doesn't matter, in my opinion.

 

[lady_of_god]

Nah... doesn't matter... if there is interest on both parts who calls who doesn't make a difference, besides you may actually turn a guy off because the communication is all onesided.

-Lady.

 

[MagicStar723]

In our relationship, atleast in the early stages he always called me. We are old fashioned. Usually now he still calls me but I don't have a problem just calling him to talk or if I need something. We have been together 2.5 yr.

 

[KristianJ]

I wouldn't be concerned about the issue...perhaps in terms of the phone call costs it might be fairer to share the load if the rates are high (even with sharing I'm not looking forward to seeing my next phone bill for this reason ) but if your friend's SO is okay with doing the calling to her, then let it be, I say

 

[JWBZ SVT]

People can be so 'legalistic' that they could take the fun out of a roller coaster ride. If it is TWO of you courting and TWO of you 'two-gether' then wouldn't it make since that the TWO of you should put forth the same effort?

I think a lot of girls like to see that the guy makes the initial approach for conversation etc...to show leadership qualities, but if you are talking to someone and it has progressed beyond, "Hello, my name is ______. I think you are cute. Can I take you out?" (lol) then it's time for BOTH to put forth effort.

Also, I don't think that it is right for the girl OR the guy to have to pay for everything. Put your money together and you can do twice (derivative of "TWO") as much. I don't keep tabs on what I spend at all or on what she spends. If someone compels you to walk a mile with them then go "TWO." (ooops, there's that word again...)

 

[Scottish Joy]

Well, I could be old-fashioned, but it matters to me.

I don't think it's an issue of right & wrong, but I think that if I had expressed my interest in him first, I would struggle with terrible curiosity as to whether he would've done it first if given the time! He did call me first, express his interest first, say he loves me first, etc etc... When we go out, he pays for me. And I enjoy him opening doors for me & giving me flowers immensely! He enjoys taking care of me. It's great! We're happy. I won't tell you that you should do it one way or the other. But I've gotten a huge blessing out of doing things the "old fasioned" , "ladies and gentlemen" way. It's not that I leave everything up to him... but the firsts- the whole leadership part of it, is his part.
I encourage, support, respond, etc. We figure that it's the natural order of things that the guy pursues the girl, and not the other way around.

My $0.02!

Joy

 

[California Dreamin']

I prefer if he calls me... but it doesn't matter.

 

[Ginga]

I think that in a christian relationship, God has called the guy to lead. I'm not saying that it makes him superior to the lady, not at all. I just think that God has made a guy to lead the relationship with love for his partner. Now, i think that the guy should take control of the situation to an extent, to be the first one to call, to be the first one to intiate a relationship etc, but once this has been done, i think that it is alright for his partner to call him. Now ladies, give the guy a chance here, taking the first step, esp if he isn't used to it is very very hard, so he needs all the support you can give him. And if he stuffs up, then be sympathetic for his sake. But hey, it's fine for the girl to call the guy, provided that she isn't trying to start something new with him (if that makes any sense at all).

 

[kiora]

we always called eachother or if one of us had free call time then we wouls use it

 

[chanis]

I think at the begining I would love for him to call (although it's not a huge deal)....

 

[Jon_]

I think that early in the relationship, in keeping with the roles that God has defined for us--the man as the initiator, the woman as the receptor--the man should be doing the calling. If he's not calling you consistently, you should take that as an indicator of how well he'll communicate with you in the future.

Later on in the relationship, as your start to mature together, and move closer to marriage, it's less of an issue. It's clear that you're "committed" to each other, even though you haven't decided on matrimony, yet.

 

[unjustwar]

this is horrible! CALL him! this happened in my first relationship.... I had to make every first move. Not only was the relationship tense it never progressed. As your boyfriend hes probably worried he might be bugging you or harassing you if you never call him and its only him calling you.

 

[Tree Sap]

I agree that's bad.

this is horrible! CALL him! this happened in my first relationship.... I had to make every first move. Not only was the relationship tense it never progressed. As your boyfriend hes probably worried he might be bugging you or harassing you if you never call him and its only him calling you.

 

[Tree Sap]

I'm not sure about this.

I think that early in the relationship, in keeping with the roles that God has defined for us--the man as the initiator, the woman as the receptor--the man should be doing the calling. If he's not calling you consistently, you should take that as an indicator of how well he'll communicate with you in the future.

Later on in the relationship, as your start to mature together, and move closer to marriage, it's less of an issue. It's clear that you're "committed" to each other, even though you haven't decided on matrimony, yet.

 

[Tree Sap]

I think at the begining I would love for him to call (although it's not a huge deal)....

I think is a big deal.

 

[Ceris]

It was 2 months into our relationship that I was able to see my gf more than every 2 or 3 weeks. As such we were on the phone a lot. Most of the time I called her. I really don't think it matters too much.

 

[spokenforbyHim]

I prefer if my boyfriend calls me but it doesnt matter...I call him just as much as he calls me. We've been dating for 7 months.

 

[Ginsu]

this is horrible! CALL him! this happened in my first relationship.... I had to make every first move. Not only was the relationship tense it never progressed. As your boyfriend hes probably worried he might be bugging you or harassing you if you never call him and its only him calling you.

I agree. Both of you should alternate. I'm sure in the beginning of my relationship if i had to call all the time I would think she wasn't interest in me that much. Though she calls me all the time because she has an unlimited calling plan, I don't have that benifit.

 

[Living Stone]

People can be so 'legalistic' that they could take the fun out of a roller coaster ride. If it is TWO of you courting and TWO of you 'two-gether' then wouldn't it make since that the TWO of you should put forth the same effort?

I think a lot of girls like to see that the guy makes the initial approach for conversation etc...to show leadership qualities, but if you are talking to someone and it has progressed beyond, "Hello, my name is ______. I think you are cute. Can I take you out?" (lol) then it's time for BOTH to put forth effort.

Also, I don't think that it is right for the girl OR the guy to have to pay for everything. Put your money together and you can do twice (derivative of "TWO") as much. I don't keep tabs on what I spend at all or on what she spends. If someone compels you to walk a mile with them then go "TWO." (ooops, there's that word again...)

thats funny

I agree.
I rarely made the first move dating. The girl almost always had to ask me out.
Never bothered me.

I do agree with the money thing ''in theory''.
but I pretty much never can get myself to actaully allow it to happen.
yesterday for the first time in my life (im pushing 40) I allowed my honey to pay for our lunch.

It was only because Im trying to hold onto cash for a move into another apt for us tho.

She offers a lot, but momma taught me to be a gentleman or dont come home