People with no kids

[janny108]

Anyone know anyone married with no kids?
Jan

 

[EmSchmem]

I'm married with no kids. For a few more days anyway.

 

[Linnis]

My husband and I have been married 16 months...no biological children yet, but we have our nephew a lot which might change.

 

[Hope_0004]

I do know people who are "childless by choice." I have no problem with it - in fact, I find it kind of noble that they have realized they aren't the parenting types and haven't caved to external pressure when it's not what they want for themselves. They tend to be the travelers and spenders of this world... not that I consider that "the life", but if that's what they want to do, fine by me.

 

[rakkoon]

I knew a youth pastor and his wife who were married for over 20 years who didn't have kids. Also in the same church there was another couple that were married for 10 years who also had no kids. Whats funny is that the whole time I knew them they would talk about wanting kids but they just never did. They loved camping and traveling alot. I guess they just thought you couldn't do that if you had kids or something.

 

[Leanna]

I was not always the "parenting" type. Although I really wanted a baby I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to raise her correctly. I always avoided children all my life. I didn't want to hold babies, I didn't want to babysit toddlers, etc etc etc.

I was the same way. Although I knew that I wanted to have children and stay home, I wasn't really the type to go hold other people's children or make all over them. I was happy to be childless as long as I was but I could never see going without children completely! Children ARE the future and I consider it my great priviledge to help raise the next generation.

HOWEVER, I don't see anything wrong with people who don't want to have children. Morally I see nothing wrong with it. However, I can't understand it because of how much I love my son and because I never had those feelings of wanting to remain childless. I have childless friends but as David grows it is odder to hang out with them now because we have less in common. For one thing, they don't understand that while I am having a conversation I must remove my infant from the glass M&M figurine 50 times then feed him cheerios from my hand and then suddenly get up and run across the room to keep him from climbing stairs. All this can be done during a conversation but some childless people have trouble understanding this. But what can I do? David cannot monitor himself.

 

[Oblivious]

Since someone mentioned their views on it, I'll mention mine.. I think that if you marry you should have children. I know some people are gonna throw things at me for that, but I do believe that God wanted us to marry and have children.

I am now throwing large objects at you...

We don't have children and we don't intend on having them. I have my reasons and I really don't care to list them because alot of them are pretty personal.

IMO if God intended for everyone who is married to have children together, then there wouldn't be infertile people in this world.

BTW - off topic, but this the first time I think I've ever posted in this forum, much less visited it (for obvious reasons )

 

[HeyHomie]

My wife and me: 8 years of marriage and no children. We started out wanting children, then couldn't have them, then decided that, lo and behold, we like having free time, having money, etc.

We are involved with other children in our lives. She is a pre-school teacher; I work with the children's church and youth groups in our church. And we frequently have our nephews & nieces over for swimming & movies and such. It's just that when they start acting bad, we can call their parents and have our house to ourselves again! Can't beat THAT with a stick.

 

[bliz]

I think that we need to be very careful with broad statements. That which has been true in my life, may not necessarilly be true in the lives of others.

I have seen women who felt pressured to have children, that this was something God wanted for them, despite their misgivings. And some of them have turned out to be the horrible mothers they feared they would be.

If God wanted every woman to be a mother, every woman would be a mother. But every woman isn't and every woman isn't going to be and every woman does not have to be. There are many ways that one can care for and contribute to the next generation.

When things like "Every married woman should have children." are said, think about what it says to those who are not able to have children, by any of the ways available. Are they lesser women? Are they not pleasing God? Are they selfish? I love my kids and, for the most part, I loved raising them, but oh, there were days when I would have sooner died! There were days when my survivial and sanity were in doubt! I don't think we should draft anyone into that Army.

 

[HoosierCanuck]

I know at least two couples who don't have children...one just celebrated anniversary #15 and the other I think has been married about 7 years. The former one is my cousin and his wife. I think they either can't have kids or don't want the responsibility. However, they spend a lot of time with his brother's daughter who has not had the best life. The latter couple I think just aren't the parenting type...no patience for small children. Both couples are devoted Christians.

I am single and will remain that way for the rest of my life. Therefore I am not having children. However, if God calls me to help a child, I will. I care about kids and wish more people did. It makes me sick to see people neglect/abuse/abandon/ignore their kids...that's a rant for maybe another board.

btw, never been to this forum before...the title caught my eye as 'a person with no kids'.

HC

 

[Oblivious]

I think that we need to be very careful with broad statements. That which has been true in my life, may not necessarilly be true in the lives of others.

I have seen women who felt pressured to have children, that this was something God wanted for them, despite their misgivings. And some of them have turned out to be the horrible mothers they feared they would be.

If God wanted every woman to be a mother, every woman would be a mother. But every woman isn't and every woman isn't going to be and every woman does not have to be. There are many ways that one can care for and contribute to the next generation.

When things like "Every married woman should have children." are said, think about what it says to those who are not able to have children, by any of the ways available. Are they lesser women? Are they not pleasing God? Are they selfish? I love my kids and, for the most part, I loved raising them, but oh, there were days when I would have sooner died! There were days when my survivial and sanity were in doubt! I don't think we should draft anyone into that Army.

Thank you so much for posting this.

 

[Princessperky]

I know several married (old married .) couples wiht no kids, it is their decision not mine. And I honestly do not know if it is by choice or by Gods design. BUT I do know they are happy and make wonderful couples/people.

 

[Hope_0004]

So... what about instead of helping children (whether your own, adopted, foster children) a person chooses to devote his or her life to helping the elderly? Or the blind? Or simply those who don't know God? What if having a child would prevent that person from fully giving his or her all to another worthy project?

I agree that "every married person should have children" is a dangerous blanket statemenet. First of all, I think adoption is more noble than having your own child from your body in many ways. But its not a necessity. There are some people who just are not going to be good parents. If they realize that early on, why in the world would they procreate or adopt?

It seems to me that if your gift is assisting your grandmother, do it. If you're exceptionally good with the handicapped, that's your thing. And yes, if you feel you'll be a wonderful mother or father, don't let me stop ya. Don't let anything stop you. But if you don't want kids, don't have them. 'Cause you can't, or at least shouldn't, send them back.

 

[Leanna]

I actually think people who choose to have no kids are doing the rest of us a favor. After all, if everyone had many many children, the population of this world would be overgrown in one generation from now. Our forestland/prairieland/etc. is shrinking to allow for more housing because the population is growing at an alarming rate. I don't think that be fruitful and multiply applies to today. In fact, sometimes I feel GUILTY about wanting 4 kids. Sometimes I think I should have two, and everyone should have two, to keep the population steady and not out of control. However, I won't make a blanket statement about that...... Just some new and wild thoughts!!!

 

[janny108]

I do know people who are "childless by choice." I have no problem with it - in fact, I find it kind of noble that they have realized they aren't the parenting types and haven't caved to external pressure when it's not what they want for themselves. They tend to be the travelers and spenders of this world... not that I consider that "the life", but if that's what they want to do, fine by me.

I guess I should have clarified this better; married people who have chosen not to have kids. :.) One of my sisters got married 4 years ago and has chosen not to have kids and her husband agrees. I think they can do more things with their money quicker somehow. On the average, they go on 3-4 trips a year, mostly visiting other relatives, but still travelling. They bought a house this year. :.)

Jan

 

[Linnis]

Too many people have kids they don't really want and it's really sad and I doubt, highly doubt that's what God would want.

 

[Dexx]

I do know people who are "childless by choice." I have no problem with it - in fact, I find it kind of noble.

Sounds like bliss to me.
Have you ever noticed that people who want large families usually come from large families? My wife has 3 siblings and wanted 4 kids herself.

 

[Neenie1]

Sounds like bliss to me.
Have you ever noticed that people who want large families usually come from large families? My wife has 3 siblings and wanted 4 kids herself.

Hmmm, I have 4 brothers, and I think I would rather stick to 2 kids, than have 4 or 5 (3 is my limit) I just don't see myself having the time to devote to that many children. But then the second was born only 2 weeks ago.

 

[McDLT]

I've been married for 13 years this year and for the first 8 we didn't have kids. We would just tell people "When God wants us to have kids, we'll have them." That was always a good conversation stopper. We never planned when we would have children either. It just happened.

 

[Jesus-is-the-1]

I know some married couples that do not have children and don't plan on it. I am not married and I highly doubt that when I do marry that I'll have kids. I love kids, but do not have the desire to have them. I am not dead set against it. I may marry and decide I want a child.

There are lots of married people out there that are not ever going to be able to take care of children whether its a mental, emotional, or physical disability so I do not think it is right at all to say that all married people should have kids.