Its interesting that in the Old Testament, women could inherit property, and yet they were treated as property. If there is one thing you need to get from the Bible, it should be this: Whenever you read about a practice in history that sounds unfair, try to find out what life was like at the time and what life was like before that. The past will reveal new information and hopefully give a new outlook to anyone who grew up surrounded by rights they take for granted and rights that other people fought for. The law given to the Hebrews in the desert mandated that if a man wanted to marry a woman, there was a process he had to go through.
He couldnt just pick her up and carry her off on his back like a sack of potatoes- at least, not among Gods people. The bride price was like a dowry. It was also essentially giving her status. There were 3 stages to the marriage: contract, consummation and then a ceremony. In our culture we have the proposal (which is not really a binding contract), the wedding ceremony, and then both are free to consummate the marriage. This is not the way it worked back then. In the Code of Hammurabi, if a man had not slept with a woman, she was not his wife. In this culture too, consummation was a mandate for marriage. An unmarried girl was her fathers property and responsibility until a man came along. So, while she was considered her fathers property, she was protected by him.
If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleeps with her, he must pay the bride-price, and she shall be his wife.17 If her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.
By forcing a man with marital intentions to come up with a bride price, God was providing a way for a woman who was unloved after a situation of rape to gain freedom and justice from the man. If he raped her whether he was interested in her or not afterwards he had to pay it. He either had to make her his wife, giving her protection and rights under marriage, or he had to give her the dowry of a married woman. The father had to consent to this. So while many today look at that and see a raped woman forced into marriage with a man who raped her, there is a choice involved. The man had a choice, the woman had a choice, and the father had a choice. Lets look at the story of Rebecca in Genesis. This story starts with Abraham being very old and asking a servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. The agreement was that he would find a girl at the well (which was a common place to find them), ask for water, evaluate her character by her response, and then offer her the proposal. Verse 15 tells of the beginning of the confrontation:
Before he (Abrahams servant} had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abrahams brother Nahor. 16 The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
The servant hurried to meet her and said, Please give me a little water from your jar.
Drink, my lord, she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.
After she had given him a drink, she said, Ill draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.
When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. 23 Then he asked, Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your fathers house for us to spend the night?
Notice he asked: Whose father are you? A girl belonged to her father until marriage.
She answered him, I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor. 25 And she added, We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.
We see so far that she is a very generous, hospitable woman. On a side note, notice how our views on piercings would conflict with theirs. She had a nose ring and was given another nose ring. This was a sign of beauty- not paganism.
Now Rebekah had a brother named Laban, and he hurried out to the man at the spring30 As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sisters arms, and had heard Rebekah tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. 31 Come, you who are blessed by the Lord, he said. Why are you standing out here? I have prepared the house and a place for the camels.
So the man went to the house, and the camels were unloaded. Straw and fodder were brought for the camels, and water for him and his men to wash their feet. 33 Then food was set before him, but he said, I will not eat until I have told you what I have to say. Then tell us, Laban said.
After this encounter, the servant goes directly to her father Laban and tell him of his purpose.
When Abrahams servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the 53 Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother. 54 Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night there.
What you have just read is the marriage contract proposal. They bear gifts along with their offer.
When they got up the next morning, he said, Send me on my way to my master.
But her brother and her mother replied, Let the young woman remain with us ten days or so; then you may go.
But he said to them, Do not detain me, now that the Lord has granted success to my journey. Send me on my way so I may go to my master."
Next you will read about how there was a consent on the womans part as well.
Then they said, Lets call the young woman and ask her about it58 So they called Rebekah and asked her, Will you go with this man?
I will go, she said.
Contrary to popular belief, it was not Gods will that marriage be forced upon women. That doesnt mean it didnt happen. There were plenty of incidences where the Hebrews did not obey Gods will. The bride price, however made His will a Law.
Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. 67 Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mothers death."
Consummation had not happened yet, therefore there was no ceremony.
Just for your reference, read the entire book of Ruth. It is only a few chapters and is yet another perfect example of God providing for women.