How much PDA is appropriate ....
- when you meet at church
- around family
- around friends
When is it too much? And why?
Jonathan
- when you meet at church
- around family
- around friends
When is it too much? And why?
Jonathan
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Pda
- Thread starter Bootstrap
- Start date
PDA = "public displays of affection".
In this context, it mostly means kissing and flirting.
Jonathan
Upvote
0
E
explodingboy
Guest
In the context of kissing and flirting, unless it offends the people present then not much..
Around friends especially,
Around friends especially,
Upvote
0
A
Adonaija
Guest
At church I keep it to a minimum with my S/O (His dad is the pastor and we try and stay under the radar there...if you've grown up "behind the scenes of the church" people can be VERY nasty).
At home and around friends...we are flirty, kiss, etc but nothing raunchy.
At home and around friends...we are flirty, kiss, etc but nothing raunchy.
Upvote
0
i'd say hand holding, hugs, and quick pecks are probably appropriate in most public contexts but i'd be careful about that if someone is around i know struggles with singleness.
Upvote
0
E
explodingboy
Guest
You see it might just be the sort of people I hang out with, but if me and my GF get raunchy, they all join in and before you know it your rolling around on the floor with about 4 friends..
but then, I flirt terribly with everyone so, between me and my male friends my GF isn't even neccesarily required for us to cause trouble PDA wise.
Upvote
0
A
Adonaija
Guest
4 Friends rolling around?? Ummmmmmm, nobody is even coming HALF that close to my S/O and no other guy (other than my S/O) is coming that close to me. I respect my S/O and he respects me...we're not into letting other people in the mix (last time I checked that's referred to as "swinging") No thanks!
Upvote
0
E
explodingboy
Guest
I'm a horrible flirt around over men, and very touchy too. Luckily my GF just finds it cute. (although she also likes to declare herself the Pimp in the relationship)
I'm pretty big on freedom of expression, so if my GF decides she wants to go leap into the lap of one our friends I have no problem with (In most cases it means a race) and then being students, it's really not uncommon to have 3 or 4 extra friends sleeping over most weekends and its fair to say we will all end up snuggling on the floor or.. spooning at some point in time.
In all fairness, I have always been terrible at behaving myself around other people, and I have this tendancy to find similar like minded friends pretty easily. As for me GF she was more strict Christian upbringing, but extremly playful and cuddly once out of the house.
Upvote
0
waxlion10
Just shut up and be delicious- Dwight
I watch the married people in church. They don't smooch and fondle each other, so neither do we. We hold hands, occasionally he rests his arm on the pew behind me during the sermon, and during greeting time it's a quick peck on the cheek/forehead.
Question I just thought of; it's kind of related:
What do you guys think about always having to sit together (especially at church or hanging out at someone's house)? Especially if there are single friends around but we are all good pals... ? Is it an unspoken rule that couples sit together or is it ok to mingle or what...
Question I just thought of; it's kind of related:
What do you guys think about always having to sit together (especially at church or hanging out at someone's house)? Especially if there are single friends around but we are all good pals... ? Is it an unspoken rule that couples sit together or is it ok to mingle or what...
Upvote
0
E
explodingboy
Guest
At church we sit together because it's only me and my GF her family goes elsewhere and mine are in the wrong country.
Around friends, though I really don't mind if she sits with me or with someone else, often the girls all snuggle up on one couch while the guys all try to out snuggle them on the other.
Upvote
0
- Aug 1, 2006
- 17,630
- 1,304
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
I am married...but I still "court" my bride so I hope you don't mind my input.
I almost always have my arm around my bride in church, and I hold her hand during prayer and worship. I also give her quick kisses. I even got busted this past Sunday. Following the service I gave her a kiss, she was taking some people home and I was staying behind to help with some after service duties. One of our little old ladies saw me kiss her. I looked at her said, '"Did you see that? Am I busted?" She just smiled and said I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
If people do not see love and dedication, without being obscene, between us then that would likely raise alarms...and certainly give our kids a poor example of love and physical manifestations of it.
I obviously do not grab her butt in public, but I do chase her around the house like a couple of teenagers...and our sons know it. We just celebrated our 11th anniversary and I would hate to see the day that people aren't aware of how much we are in love and how fearless we are when it comes to expressing that love appropriately regardless of who is around.
I almost always have my arm around my bride in church, and I hold her hand during prayer and worship. I also give her quick kisses. I even got busted this past Sunday. Following the service I gave her a kiss, she was taking some people home and I was staying behind to help with some after service duties. One of our little old ladies saw me kiss her. I looked at her said, '"Did you see that? Am I busted?" She just smiled and said I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
If people do not see love and dedication, without being obscene, between us then that would likely raise alarms...and certainly give our kids a poor example of love and physical manifestations of it.
I obviously do not grab her butt in public, but I do chase her around the house like a couple of teenagers...and our sons know it. We just celebrated our 11th anniversary and I would hate to see the day that people aren't aware of how much we are in love and how fearless we are when it comes to expressing that love appropriately regardless of who is around.
Upvote
0
waxlion10
Just shut up and be delicious- Dwight
OK, that's good to know. I think it's fine to sit separately in group situations, but some couples I know get upset if they somehow don't end up next to each other or, worse, if they end up sitting next to someone else's boyfriend.
Maybe it's because in our little church, it seems like since middle school, everyone has dated/kissed everyone (with the exception of me and my SO; we're each other's first everything)...
so maybe my friends are just insecure?
thanks for the input!
Upvote
0
E
explodingboy
Guest
Me and my GF are each others firsts too.
Obviously it is nicer to be able to sit with my GF the majority of the time, but I also have no issue in deliberatly trying to send her off to socialize away from me.
I wouldn't neccessirly say someone is too insecure rather that I know I'm way to liberal. I'm the sort of person who doesn't see any difference in sitting next to someone or sitting on their lap. To expect my GF to only sit near me would be highly hypocritical.
Upvote
0
waxlion10
Just shut up and be delicious- Dwight
I guess what I mean is, in my experience, expecting one's SO to sit only next to them can be a sort of control thing because one is insecure about one's relationship. If one sees their SO joking around with someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend, one could become jealous. I wonder if sometimes this is why people in relationships that are not grounded well, or people with some insecurities/immaturities, DO engage in so much PDA...
Kind of to let everyone know "you're mine" which can be absolutely adorable and positive in the context of the right relationship but suffocating in a more insecure relationship.
Does that make sense at all? I'm trying ;-)
Kind of to let everyone know "you're mine" which can be absolutely adorable and positive in the context of the right relationship but suffocating in a more insecure relationship.
Does that make sense at all? I'm trying ;-)
Upvote
0
I think what you describe is pretty much what I'm like around my girlfriend. Hence my question ;->
Jonathan
Upvote
0
HisLittleHazelnut
Coming soon with new account... find me if you can
I hardly ever get to see my fiance (about 1 week a year), so when we are together we're together all the time. In service, if he's not serving or preaching, I often have my head on his shoulder.
Upvote
0
tessas212
Dog Behavior Consultant
Holding hands, sometimes flirting, quick kisses on the lips, and sometimes he'll kiss my forehead.
I do think there is a difference between being loving in public, and just being nasty. I can hold his hand, lean on him, stare and smile at him and show that I love him... without having to kiss with tongue in front of others, or be right up against him 24/7. I'm still in the younger age bracket... and have teenage friends that I will sometimes go out and have fun with. Probably the last incident was when I took them out to a 'haunted corn maze' and in the line ahead of us there was a 18-19 year old couple that were making out, grabbing parts, and constantly pressed up against each other. There were little kids around! I so wanted to swat them with my bag. That is so inappropriate.
I do think there is a difference between being loving in public, and just being nasty. I can hold his hand, lean on him, stare and smile at him and show that I love him... without having to kiss with tongue in front of others, or be right up against him 24/7. I'm still in the younger age bracket... and have teenage friends that I will sometimes go out and have fun with. Probably the last incident was when I took them out to a 'haunted corn maze' and in the line ahead of us there was a 18-19 year old couple that were making out, grabbing parts, and constantly pressed up against each other. There were little kids around! I so wanted to swat them with my bag. That is so inappropriate.
Upvote
0
latteda
You're not my nemesis
We are both extremely affectionate, so it's been difficult at times to know where to draw the line.
He is paid part time staff at his church, so that makes keeping things appropriate at church even more important than it would otherwise. We are pretty careful at church. Sometimes we'll hold hands, but usually we don't even do that. We'll hug hello if we meet up at church.
Around friends, it's tricky because we both have a lot of single friends who are very bothered by PDA. We try to be sensitive to them while still showing some affection for one another in public. We do usually mingle when around our single friends, and that makes it easier to keep hands off. Honestly the single friends issue has been a pretty big one...enough to where I usually don't have a good time if we are hanging out with our friends together, because a couple of them seem to be uncomfortable just because we're together. We have had people approach us about us making them uncomfortable, just because we were sitting closely in the car or on the couch...not snuggling, just sitting closely and holding hands. It's a little ridiculous. I usually try to avoid these situations.
With family, we're a little more relaxed. We'll exchange quick kisses, hugs, cuddle a little, arm around the shoulder, that sort of thing.
Honestly I really hope that some PDA remains in my marriage relationship. What mont974x4 mentioned sounds ideal to me. My parents were affectionate with each other in front of us kids and in public and I hope it will be the same in my marriage relationship. I think it's so sweet when I see married couples acting like they are still enamored with each other!
Upvote
0
Similar threads
- Locked
