Pathetic/what's the point?

[colormebeautiful]

My stepmom screamed at me today. She yelled in my face "YOU'RE PATHETIC" and told my dad they needed to send me away. It just echoes in my head and I feel really hopeless now, like what's the point? I'm trying my hardest, and I get yelled at for sleeping, eating, being disrespectful, anything. And I'm pathetic.

It's just what the negative voice in my head says all day - "You are pathetic, you don't deserve love or anything good, why would anyone love you, you are worthless!" Hearing someone else say it makes it 10x worse.

I'm not even that "bad" of a kid. I'm mostly an A student, except I've been struggling this year dealing with depression and my eating disorder. I was abused from age 5-13 and I've been dealing with that too. The only thing keeping me from suicide is knowing my Dad would be really upset and knowing what it feels like to lose someone.

My mom died when I was 13. The anniversary of her death is this Friday. I just can't take it & I don't know what to do! What's the point?

 

[lmarie23]

wow, you have a lot on your plate right now.

i just want to tell you that despite how you feel, you DO deserve love. God loves you and it sounds like your dad really does too. Try not to let your stepmom get to you. (I know, easier said than done.) I know about that negative voice in your head, I have one too. Mine says "you are selfish and lazy," stuff like that. I try to rebuke the voice with the truths that I know, deep down. At least I do when I put my mind to it.

If you want someone to talk to more, feel free to pm me. I was a straight-A student too and my parents were pretty hard on me growing up. They mocked me for not having many friends and studying too much. Like I thought studying a lot was a good thing, but whatever.

When I was suicidal years ago, I finally got to the point where I realized that no matter how bad things get, there's always some small thread of hope that things will get better, and that holding onto that hope is better than giving up completely. I don't know if that makes any sense, I don't think I'm saying it right. But maybe you understand.

Oh, one more thing. Sometimes I remind myself that God doesn't love me "despite" my faults. I don't have to earn God's love. So thinking that God can't love me because I'm worthless is the wrong line of thought. It's like you could even say God loves me because I'm hopeless, I was created to need Him and He loves me for the person I am. I hope this is still making sense, I'm really tired so I'm not sure how lucid I am.

Well, again, feel free to pm me. Hope things start getting better soon....

Lynne

 

[BigToe]

You deserve love and care and compassion and to know that people are in your corner rooting for you in all of life's journeys that lay ahead for you. You deserve to have someone standing next to you, holding your hand, being a shoulder to cry on that won't judge you or think you're any less wonderful than you are. You deserve people in your life that tell you how special you are to them, that you make them better for knowing you, that life wouldn't be as good without you.

You aren't pathetic and quite frankly that your stepmother would say that to you makes me think SHE is pathetic. I'm sorry but an adult in a parental role does not say that sort of thing.

And you know, people spat on Jesus and hated him. He told us that because we love him, people will treat us unfairly too. But he's with us every step of the way. I know it is hard to feel it sometimes and it is far too easy to feel unworthy. But you have to remember, there isn't a single person who IS worthy. Even our best deeds we could possibly do are but filthy rags to God. We don't deserve his love, but he has chosen to love us anyway. So it doesn't matter if you mess up, God is still there with you.

*snuggles*

 

[AWorkInProgress]

My stepmom screamed at me today. She yelled in my face "YOU'RE PATHETIC" and told my dad they needed to send me away. It just echoes in my head and I feel really hopeless now, like what's the point? I'm trying my hardest, and I get yelled at for sleeping, eating, being disrespectful, anything. And I'm pathetic.

It's just what the negative voice in my head says all day - "You are pathetic, you don't deserve love or anything good, why would anyone love you, you are worthless!" Hearing someone else say it makes it 10x worse.

I'm not even that "bad" of a kid. I'm mostly an A student, except I've been struggling this year dealing with depression and my eating disorder. I was abused from age 5-13 and I've been dealing with that too. The only thing keeping me from suicide is knowing my Dad would be really upset and knowing what it feels like to lose someone.

My mom died when I was 13. The anniversary of her death is this Friday. I just can't take it & I don't know what to do! What's the point?

oh man I wish I could hug you right now.

Your step mother lost her cool and choose to listen to her sinful side. All you can do is pray for your enemy, that God show her the folly she has made.

Let your father know what happened and how it made you feel. After that, hardest thing to do is going to be is forgive her. Forgiveness is freedom, from the pain and anguish. God will deal with your step mom, and you need to stay focus on your maturity. Don't let her drag you down.

You are in depressed state, and that outburst is gasoline to a flame. Depression is your enemy babe! It's goal is to get you to 'drown'.

Luke 8:30-33

"30 Jesus demanded, “What is your name?”
“Legion,” he replied, for he was filled with many demons. 31 The demons kept begging Jesus not to send them into the bottomless pit.[e]
32 There happened to be a large herd of pigs feeding on the hillside nearby, and the demons begged him to let them enter into the pigs. So Jesus gave them permission. 33 Then the demons came out of the man and entered the pigs, and the entire herd plunged down the steep hillside into the lake and drowned."

Don't listen to that evil because it is garbage. Grab that thought about what it would do to your father and never let it go. That was the same thought that helped me thru my suicidal depression. Thought of what my death would have done to my mother gave me pause. I mainly just wanted to be left alone, but when she broke down in tears I couldn't bear to see it.

Learn to listen to your spirit. In the middle of that storm of emotions there is a thought of reason, love and responcibility. It comes only as a whisper compared to your sinful nature.

Galatians 5
Living by the Spirit’s Power
"16 So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. 17 The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. 18 But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.

19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. 25 Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. 26 Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another."

It is the spirit that gives you pause about what it would do to your father. Learn to listen to it, learn to realize that all these dark thoughts are not yours. Spirit will help you thru the storm.

 

[HannahBanana]

My stepmom screamed at me today. She yelled in my face "YOU'RE PATHETIC" and told my dad they needed to send me away. It just echoes in my head and I feel really hopeless now, like what's the point? I'm trying my hardest, and I get yelled at for sleeping, eating, being disrespectful, anything. And I'm pathetic.

It's just what the negative voice in my head says all day - "You are pathetic, you don't deserve love or anything good, why would anyone love you, you are worthless!" Hearing someone else say it makes it 10x worse.

I'm not even that "bad" of a kid. I'm mostly an A student, except I've been struggling this year dealing with depression and my eating disorder. I was abused from age 5-13 and I've been dealing with that too. The only thing keeping me from suicide is knowing my Dad would be really upset and knowing what it feels like to lose someone.

My mom died when I was 13. The anniversary of her death is this Friday. I just can't take it & I don't know what to do! What's the point?

I am so sorry that your stepmom thinks it's okay to act in such an immature manner. Quite frankly, I don't think she deserves to be a parent if she talks to her children like that. Just remember that God is making you go through this tough time for a reason. Maybe He wants to toughen you up emotionally, or help you to learn to stand up for yourself. Whatever the reason though, just remember that He knows what He is doing and He would never make one of His children go through hardships for no reason. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[B3li3v3r4ChRiSt]

Aww, hun I'm really sorry, I do wish I can hug you too. Just ignore is mainly the key word. Whatever she says, is not worth taking it all in.

I know advice from a 15 year old, might not work at all. But just ignore, is the main thing.

At least your father loves you, God loves you. We love you.

Suicide is never ever the answer to anything, imagine all the people your going to hurt. From your friends, to God, to your family. God gave you a life, to live well and deal with tough problems, just pray my dear.

Just pray and I'll pray with you.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

My stepmom screamed at me today. She yelled in my face "YOU'RE PATHETIC" and told my dad they needed to send me away. It just echoes in my head and I feel really hopeless now, like what's the point? I'm trying my hardest, and I get yelled at for sleeping, eating, being disrespectful, anything. And I'm pathetic.

It's just what the negative voice in my head says all day - "You are pathetic, you don't deserve love or anything good, why would anyone love you, you are worthless!" Hearing someone else say it makes it 10x worse.

I'm not even that "bad" of a kid. I'm mostly an A student, except I've been struggling this year dealing with depression and my eating disorder. I was abused from age 5-13 and I've been dealing with that too. The only thing keeping me from suicide is knowing my Dad would be really upset and knowing what it feels like to lose someone.

My mom died when I was 13. The anniversary of her death is this Friday. I just can't take it & I don't know what to do! What's the point?

Little sis,

I'm so sorry that you were made to feel like that on on this week of all weeks.

As everyone else has said, you are so beautiful and you are NOT pathetic! Both your earthly and heavenly Father love you SOOOO much and this will make the enemy try any means to make you feel bad. I thought I'd take the liberty of sharing something I'd read about & I tend to speak this out loud when I've either been made to feel insignificant/pathetic or that "little voice" jabs its fiery arrow in my direction. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that the following will bring as much comfort to you as it did (and still does) to me:

Taken from "Steps to freedom in Christ":

I renounce the lie that I am worthless,
inadequate, helpless, pathetic or hopeless,
BECAUSE IN CHRIST I am deeply significant.
God says that I ....​

am the salt of the earth and the light of the world (Matt 5:13,14)​

am a branch of the true vine of Jesus, a channel of His life (John 15:1,5)​

have been chosen and appointed by God to bear fruit (John 15:16)​

am a personal, Spirit-empowered witness of Christ (Acts 1:8)​

am a temple of God ( 1 Cor 3:16)​

am a minister of reconciliation for God ( 2 Cor 5:17-21)​

am God's fellow worker ( 2 Cor 6:1)​

am seated with Christ in the Heavenly realms (Eph 2:6)​

am God's workmanship, created for good works (Eph 2:10)​

may approach God with freedom and confidence (Eph 3:12)​

can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13)​

You are the apple of your earthly and Heavenly Father's eye and we'll all be praying to encourage you, little sis.​

Your fellow sister in Christ,
LP​

 

[goldenviolet]

http://www.mercyministries.com.au/

http://www.teenhealthtalk.com/emergencyhotlines/suicide_hotlines.aspx

hey sweetheart, bless your heart. i'm going to refer you to two ministeries. the first link has live in programs that assist young gals struggling with problems.

the second is a site that you can google any type hotlines for your your area; and learn about sites that are set up to help teens in crisis.

i hope you realize that you are special, loved and valuable. your family's problems, may get in the way of you learning this; but you are old enough to break through the patterns of dysfunction, by finding outside support. you have a huge spiritual family too. keep reaching out. ~ love dee

 

[colormebeautiful]

Wow. Thanks so much for the support and love everyone.

It's just so hard because she doesn't only do it with me, she yells at my dad and my brother. Not to the degree she yells at me, but she does it with them, too. She has major anger problems, but we're expected to deal with it because "that's just the way she is." But here I have trouble moving, being alive, acting like a 'normal person' and I'm pathetic.

And now she's refusing to talk to me/acknowledge I exist. I tried to say good morning to her but she pretended to be deaf. I don't know how long this is going to go on. It just makes me feel worse about myself and reminds me "YOU'RE PATHETIC".

But thanks for the compassion and understanding. You all made me feel a lot better. I printed your posts out and carried them with me to make me feel better throughout the day.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Wow. Thanks so much for the support and love everyone.

It's just so hard because she doesn't only do it with me, she yells at my dad and my brother. Not to the degree she yells at me, but she does it with them, too. She has major anger problems, but we're expected to deal with it because "that's just the way she is." But here I have trouble moving, being alive, acting like a 'normal person' and I'm pathetic.

And now she's refusing to talk to me/acknowledge I exist. I tried to say good morning to her but she pretended to be deaf. I don't know how long this is going to go on. It just makes me feel worse about myself and reminds me "YOU'RE PATHETIC".

But thanks for the compassion and understanding. You all made me feel a lot better. I printed your posts out and carried them with me to make me feel better throughout the day.

In all honousity, she is the pathetic one. lol Like I said, don't let her misery or anger rob you of your self esteem. Also pray that God will straighten her out.

Don't let her demons drag you down!

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Wow. Thanks so much for the support and love everyone.

It's just so hard because she doesn't only do it with me, she yells at my dad and my brother. Not to the degree she yells at me, but she does it with them, too. She has major anger problems, but we're expected to deal with it because "that's just the way she is." But here I have trouble moving, being alive, acting like a 'normal person' and I'm pathetic.

And now she's refusing to talk to me/acknowledge I exist. I tried to say good morning to her but she pretended to be deaf. I don't know how long this is going to go on. It just makes me feel worse about myself and reminds me "YOU'RE PATHETIC".

But thanks for the compassion and understanding. You all made me feel a lot better. I printed your posts out and carried them with me to make me feel better throughout the day.

's to you sis!

She sounds quite similar to my mom, unfortunately and for a long time, I gave in to being made to feel less than the way the Lord sees me.

To get around it, for each time she does or says anything to you, take it to the Lord in your quiet/prayer time. I usually say something on the lines of "Lord, I choose to forgive ..............., for the time when he/she (describe what they did or said). What they did made me feel like............. Lord I choose to surrender any right I feel I may have to hold onto this hurt. I thank you for setting me free from the bondage of my hurt and bitterness. I ask you to heal my damaged emotions and I now ask you to bless ............... and deliver them from their pain. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

As someone else said earlier, when you forgive her everytime she does something to you, you are passing on this burden from your shoulders to Jesus'. So that there will be less for you to carry yourself. In a way, you will be healing this particular hurt to a point where when she does stuff in the future, it won't affect you as it does now. God willing, by continually praying for her healing you will also be contributing to her deliverance without her even knowing what you're doing.

I few months back I didn't think such a process would work. But I praise God, that over time, the Lord has healed me to where the words my mother sometimes says does not get under my skin as much as it use to.

Most importantly, you have got the love of the Lord around you to call on as and when you need it.

And you will always have your brothers and sisters in Christ praying for you 24/7 (given the timezones around the world ).

God bless you, sis and hang in there.

 

[Mask]

I'm sorry to hear of the hurt your step-mom has done to you. Please know that I totally support you but please remember that, hurting people, hurt people! Obviously she is not a happy person and is hurting inside herself. She is not pathetic either! We shouldn't judge someone. We do not know what she feels inside of herself to make her so angry, to be able to say those mean things to you. I too myself have said things to my children, that I would give almost anything to take back, but once the words are out, you cannot take them back, they have already done the damage. My father always hurt me with his words and I hated it, and judged him for it, so then I in return, was judged just as harshly and did the thing I hated, about him, to my own children. With forgiveness and healing, I am breaking that cycle. I am changing so that my children do not have to do the things they hated about me, to their children. I have asked my children to forgive me too. I still screw up sometimes but I go to them quickly and ask forgiveness, before the hurt has time to fester in them. Forgive her and pray for her. You can't change her but you can change yourself and the next generation after you! Pray that she will find Gods love and that it will be shed abroad in her heart!

Hugs and prayers to you !!

 

[TrueHope]

I think as parents we all tend to lose our cool and say things we regret. I for certain have....but Pathetic is not one of them It is how we word things....take the YOU out and put, what you did was....or how could you do something so dumb ....but not the YOU ARE....I know i have problems with yelling at the kids because they do crazy senseless things that drive me nuts. And when I say something, they twist the words....so I really have to be careful of what I say....

Thepoint of this is, your Step-Mom seems very sad inside. And often defense mechanisms appear angry and cruel.

Neither of you are pathetic. Hurting, yes. For certain.

I will pray to the Lord that you and your step-mother will have a breakthrough in your relationship with each other. That the pain the both of you carry will be released from the both of you and that she can find peace of mind resulting in calmer actions towards your entire family.

Have you ever just hugged her and told her you love her?

Being a step-mother...(I do so dislike the term step) or father is such a difficult position. They never feel good enough and always feel compared to regarding the competition....the real parents.

Has your family shown her respect?

(Sorry if I repeat any questions from posts, I only read a few so this may have been covered.)

My children show no respect for me or their 2nd dad, I will call him.
But the good thing is, they are beginning to trust him. respect in actions, no way...but talking to him finally after almost 8 years.

Sit back and take yourself out of the situation....look in and focus on what you see. Then think.....how would she feel if she were you and vice-versa....good movie to watch...Freaky Friday!

I am praying for you and your family! Depend upon our Lord for strength. He carries you through everything!!!!!! Big Hugs!!!!!!