Passion parties

I have 2 friends that are supposed to be Christians that have Passion Parties. I didn't know what this was until I did a search online. Now I am very upset with them. In my opinion this would be like me distributing pornography to other men. Do I have a reason to be concerned or am I just over-reacting?

I'm not sure what the problem is here, except the fact that sex toys are illegal in Alabama. That's a problem.

Lethe said:

I'm not sure what the problem is here, except the fact that sex toys are illegal in Alabama. That's a problem.

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That is a massive problem but easily circumvented

As to OP, nah no reason to get mad or upset about it really. Passion parties are pretty boring tbh.

I'm going to go with over-reacting. These things can be used to enhance a marriage.

goodbook63 said:

I have 2 friends that are supposed to be Christians...

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I have no idea what a passion party is, so I'm not going to comment about that! However: I don't think it's good to judge other people's walks with Christ. How their relationship with him is their business. Saying "supposed to be" like you're not sure they are Christian is probably unhelpful, and potentially really harmful.

If its a sex toy party but for christians...then its still creepy. I mean our neighbor (whos not christian) just had a sex toy party in a open garage and the lady speaking mentioned everything even some adults probably haven't heard of in terms of gentials, breasts and things that involve them.

If my spouse wanted a sex toy that would be between me and her. No big party so everyone could hear what our sex life is like and what it needs. I mean I'm ok with discussing sex and "toys" if someone asks privately. BUt even then everyone has their own views on it.

Actually not talking about sex period leads to much frustration in a christian marriage because we are so busy being taught sex is bad before marriage, then once married we forget its not a bad thing and we can actually talk about with other married couples who have wisdom (and are willing to). Having a sex toy party though is past my line though.

---edit---
Having looked at the site now its not really any different then something like a tupperware or candle light party. It is more "toned down" then most sex toy parties I've heard of. But still it does have sex toys. And it does have others things like oils for a bathtub and "intimacy" stuff. So its not all toys. Not my thing though.

goodbook63 said:

I have 2 friends that are supposed to be Christians that have Passion Parties. I didn't know what this was until I did a search online. Now I am very upset with them. In my opinion this would be like me distributing pornography to other men. Do I have a reason to be concerned or am I just over-reacting?

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At first I was like 'Passion... of the christ party?' figuring it was some kinky christian thing. But no, it is just a sex toy party.

So, yeah, you're over reacting, and if one of my male friends were upset about me going to a 'passion party', that guy would quickly not be my friend anymore because a) none of his business, b) sex toys are awesome and my girl friends are awesome so passion party = win, and c) someone who judges me based on what I consensually enjoy in bed is not someone I would want to be friends with anyway.

Now, I don't know you, maybe you're one of those 'all masturbation is siiiiinfuuuul' christians, but if you've ever penalized the proverbial primate yourself then you have no room to judge.

Jade Margery said:

At first I was like 'Passion... of the christ party?' figuring it was some kinky christian thing. But no, it is just a sex toy party.

So, yeah, you're over reacting, and if one of my male friends were upset about me going to a 'passion party', that guy would quickly not be my friend anymore because a) none of his business, b) sex toys are awesome and my girl friends are awesome so passion party = win, and c) someone who judges me based on what I consensually enjoy in bed is not someone I would want to be friends with anyway.

Now, I don't know you, maybe you're one of those 'all masturbation is siiiiinfuuuul' christians, but if you've ever penalized the proverbial primate yourself then you have no room to judge.

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Bwahaha best post of the day. I swear this thread feels like those boys who wonder what a girl's bathroom is like

It's OK if it upsets you, you don't have to like or accept that sort of behavior. That is your decision!

But it is perfectly OK for someone to be a Christian and participate in a Passion Party. The items that are bought and sold during these parties can be used to help enhance someone's personal or marital life (and may be wanted or needed for various reasons- there are some issues that disrupt a couple's sex life that these could ease).

Like I said though, it's not something you yourself have to accept! If it bothers you, that's OK, and you could ask your friends to simply not mention them in your presence

Reeniee said:

I have no idea what a passion party is, so I'm not going to comment about that! However: I don't think it's good to judge other people's walks with Christ. How their relationship with him is their business. Saying "supposed to be" like you're not sure they are Christian is probably unhelpful, and potentially really harmful.

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agreed.

that being said, Passion parties are fairly mundane. As long as everyone is consenting and the toys you are buying dont get too crazy. To each his own.

I fail to see the problem with Christian passion parties. Did Moses forbid the use of sex toys? I seem to have missed that Commandment.

Are Christians supposed to be sexless? I don't see why it would be surprising at all that sex toys would be appreciated by a religious group that may have to wait into their twenties to have sex (with someone else) for the first time, and is required to avoid cheating in marriage.


eudaimonia,

Mark

I fail to see the problem with Christian passion parties. Did Moses forbid the use of sex toys? I seem to have missed that Commandment.

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Technically speaking God said our bodies belong to our spouses. So using toys is technically denying your spouse sex. ASSUMING of course you are using a toy for legit reasons like the hubby can't get "Excited" anymore due to ED.

Or in easier terms a couple we knew getting married had brought up the sex toy subject. The husband asked me about various ones to show his wife on the honeymoon. I told him you will be newly weds, save the sex toy stuff for when your older and you need to spark the intimacy again...because it will die down for alot of people.

This doesn't mean sex toys is a sin mind you, after all what goes on behind close doors (as long as its between you two) is ok. I personally would not use them unless I had no choice because as a man I feel buying a woman a...um.. certain vibrating toy might make our intimacy less fun for her since the toy can give her more pleasure then I can since as a man we can only give so much, unlike a woman he can have "pleasure" over and over and over in a day. I'll leave it at that for reason of not wanting to get modded.

xfreakazoidx said:

Technically speaking God said our bodies belong to our spouses. So using toys is technically denying your spouse sex.

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I'd think that your spouse could simply give you that permission instead of taking it as a denial. If something "belongs" to me, I am free to let someone use else use that, and this may even be generous or charitable.

Or in easier terms a couple we knew getting married had brought up the sex toy subject. The husband asked me about various ones to show his wife on the honeymoon. I told him you will be newly weds, save the sex toy stuff for when your older and you need to spark the intimacy again...because it will die down for alot of people.

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While that has the ring of prudence, it doesn't strike me as strictly necessary.

This doesn't mean sex toys is a sin mind you, after all what goes on behind close doors (as long as its between you two) is ok. I personally would not use them unless I had no choice because as a man I feel buying a woman a...um.. certain vibrating toy might make our intimacy less fun for her since the toy can give her more pleasure then I can since as a man we can only give so much, unlike a woman he can have "pleasure" over and over and over in a day. I'll leave it at that for reason of not wanting to get modded.

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That strikes me as male insecurity, and not necessarily a real problem.


eudaimonia,

Mark

I don't see why you would be upset with them. It's their own lives, even if you disagree. The Bible doesn't even say anything against that sort of thing.

xfreakazoidx said:

Technically speaking God said our bodies belong to our spouses. So using toys is technically denying your spouse sex.

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That sort of sounds like a way to justify marital rape. I'm not saying you are in favour of that, just that it sounds like a weird understanding of marriage/ sexuality.

I don't mean that in an accusatory way at all.

Ladies, I've been thoroughly enjoying your posts. Carry on.

xfreakazoidx said:

Technically speaking God said our bodies belong to our spouses. So using toys is technically denying your spouse sex.

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Um. What? The one does not follow from the other.

xfreakazoidx said:

Technically speaking God said our bodies belong to our spouses. So using toys is technically denying your spouse sex.

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And what if your spouse buys them for you because she/he wants you to be happy? What if you don't have a spouse, and there is no one to deny? What if your spouse is not there? The thing about sexual desire, like any appetite, is that fulfilling it once doesn't eliminate it except for a short refractory period. It's not like you only get to have sex 1000 times in your life and after that it's all gone.

ASSUMING of course you are using a toy for legit reasons like the hubby can't get "Excited" anymore due to ED.

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I don't like the idea that you need to justify using things as long as both spouses have no problem with it. Everyone's sex life is different and probably a little weird to other people. I probably wouldn't go to a passion party because I don't want to know who is buying the furry handcuffs.

And what if your spouse buys them for you because she/he wants you to be happy?

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Well thats one thing of course. My point more or less that if you want to have sex, then it should be with your spouse. Your sexy toy should not be the first thing that pops into your mind. Again this is in ordinary circumstances, not ones where someone is disabled...etc.

I'd think that your spouse could simply give you that permission instead of taking it as a denial.

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Well yeah. I meant like if you choose to use your toy instead of bothering with your spouse. Studies have shown alot of women say the toys give them more pleasure then the man can at times. So they use the toy more often instead. Which leads to this:

That strikes me as male insecurity, and not necessarily a real problem.

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I knew when I typed that it would pop up. There are men who cannot pleasure a woman very well. And in that case they should really try new things to see i toys "mixed" with sex can make it better, this way she just doesn't avoid you all together.

I've seen to many cases where the sex toy ends up being what she prefers, even more then sex. At which point the man feels left out since she doesn't even bother with him as much (or including him in it). So he goes off and cheats. Now, I am not saying it will always happen that way of course. What I am saying though is we have to be careful not to let fake things replace sex instead of using our spouse if we can.

And for the record this topic is not about me. My sex life is fine.

That sort of sounds like a way to justify marital rape. I'm not saying you are in favour of that, just that it sounds like a weird understanding of marriage/ sexuality.

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Oh I agree. Just like spouses should give each other their bodies, some can take it the extreme of "Give me sex or else!" kind things. Which sadly some christian man rape their wives for sex because they take that verse to the extreme.

I don't see why you would be upset with them. It's their own lives, even if you disagree. The Bible doesn't even say anything against that sort of thing.

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Its not a sin to bring toys into your marriage of course. But overall you should probably tried to avoid them or as long as possible. Your sex life (for most studies show) doesn't magically keep on burning forever. For most they have to bring new things into it. So if you use toys early you may be giving yourself one less option later down the road when the "Lets try something new!" comes up.

Anyways God give me a body with many interesting things to use on my wife until that time.

It's not like you only get to have sex 1000 times in your life and after that it's all gone.

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If you look on the bottom of an genital, it does have a stat counter to show you how many times are left. But yes, if your spouse is not there then obviously a toy is your only option.

I don't like the idea that you need to justify using things as long as both spouses have no problem with it.

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And thats what it comes down to. Usually when I post things I go by what psychology or studies show...etc. I don't usually post my personal opinion. Perhaps I should though.

I came expecting to learn about something new+exciting+maybe kinky. Now I"m just disappointed and wondering what the problem is.

xfreakazoidx said:

And thats what it comes down to. Usually when I post things I go by what psychology or studies show...etc. I don't usually post my personal opinion. Perhaps I should though.

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I often do both. But I haven't researched any studies on sex toys.